When I had my diet blog I was always surprised, and kinda touched, when people would thank me for my over-sharing.
“Oh… thank god it’s not just me!” they’d say, telling me how much they could relate to my posts.
I still occasionally share some of my foibles – the fact that tomato juice, broccoli and cauliflower freak me out, for example. And my dislike of having dirty hands and feet; and of course my antipathy towards bloody ants. Or—of course—how I’m feeling about myself or my body.
One of the things I appreciate most about the online world is that it doesn’t allow us to feel alone… particularly in a ‘God I’m weird!’ sense. In fact, although I sometimes accuse social media of feeding my life-envy, it also can be a great leveller.
On that note, I’m a great observer. I’m not sure if you’ve noticed this about me, but I read LOTS of blog posts and social media updates. I read lots of books and watch lots of TV and am prone to churning things over in my mind. A lot. And usually at night when I should be sleeping.
That all however means I notice stuff… people’s embarrassing admissions and the like (which make me feel better about my own) and I thought I’d share some of my personal faves.
1. Utilise not-so-sophisticated decision-making tools
I use eeney meeney to make decisions when it’s probably not appropriate. The other night I couldn’t decide if I wanted roast potatoes or potato bake with my steak. What decision-making tool did I use? Yep… you guessed it.
More worrying, of course, is that I occasionally adopt the same method for bigger life decisions. I was concerned I was stuck in some childlike limbo until I mentioned this to someone recently and they laughed and confessed they occasionally did it as well.
I also sometimes rely on the tried and true tested method of ‘fate’ when making decisions. Like… “If they don’t arrive before I count to 50, then…..” Or, I’ll toss a coin (or book, or whatever is at my disposal).
I still remember being agog when watching a movie decades ago (I think it was Singles) which featured a scene in which someone was attempting to throw balls of paper into a bin and using that as a decision-making tool. Of course like the coin toss, our true desire becomes evident when we change the rules to make it the best of three, or five and so forth.
2. Hate using the phone for its original purpose
I’m sure my extended family thinks this (ahem) idiosyncrasy is mine alone but thankfully social media again comes to the rescue as I see others despair at having to use their phones for verbal conversations from time to time. I know not everyone is like this and am often shocked when my friends comment that it was easier to phone than email or text (I mean, WTF?!) but…. most know better than to call me (unless arranged). Ever.
3. Dread socialising and networking
It sounds arrogant but I’m actually good at socialising and networking. I can talk to anyone and anything. And am generally more than happy to. Indeed I can talk the leg off… almost anything that has legs. As an introvert however, I need my alone-time.
I’m more than happy to walk up to strangers and chat to them until their eyes glaze over and I wear out my welcome. Then I move on. I know however, networking and social functions are a big struggle for many people. Knowing that most others there feel exactly the same can help. And… thankfully people are rarely rude and many will appreciate you’ve made the effort to approach them.
4. I think it’s all about me me me!
I thought this was a result of being too self-absorbed until I discovered others often feel the same. I suspect it comes from a sense of worrying too much about what others think or how they perceive us. Essentially it’s the habit of thinking we constantly influence the behaviour of others. I’m prone to catastrophising so if a boss was in a bad mood I worried about the briefing paper I’d written or decide they thought me totally incompetent.
If a friend is quiet I wonder what I’ve done to offend them. Or I decide they hate me for reasons unknown. Logically I know this isn’t usually the case, but my mind leaps there. And… apparently, I’m not the only one who does it! Many of us read too much into things and look for a reason that’s just not there. Sometimes people really are just too busy to return a text message. #apparently 😉
Of course there are others like my habit of… well… that’s probably enough for now. Although, perhaps you have some suggestions?
Linking up with Essentially Jess for IBOT.
November 17, 2015
Yup I know you’ve heard it before but.. here it goes again… 🙂 “Oh… thank god it’s not just me!” Lol yup all three! No phone conversations, no socializing and “catastrophizing” loved this post 🙂
November 17, 2015
Thanks Daniela. There were so many more but I’d already left it languishing in my drafts folder for too long!
November 17, 2015
Catastrophising/a heightened sense of being responsible for others? Yup, yup, yup…
November 17, 2015
That’s one of my worst…. crawling through conversations in my mind to work out what I might have done or said to insult that person… when really they just missed my email or message or are busy or whatever…
November 17, 2015
I think most of us have realised that perfection is impossible and people who don’t seem to have quirks and foibles and just hiding them. When we know that others are actually just as weird as us we feel way more comfortable. Keep on oversharing. It’s what we love most about you.
November 17, 2015
Well I did rip a jagged fingernail off last night and made my nail-bed bleed and wondered if other people do that. Even when they know it might happen…. Anyone?
November 17, 2015
Hahaha this is gold! Eeny meeny has definitely been sung in my head over more than a few big decisions! And yes assume everyone’s mood is.about me when they probably haven’t thought once about me at all!
November 17, 2015
The whole ‘letting fate make a decision thing’ is something I do way too often. From what I’ll eat, to when I’ll do something, to what I’ll wear etc… And if I’m about to order and binge on hot chips I allow a few moments for there to be a sign to stop me…. Not exactly sure what I think is gonna happen – lightning strike me in my bedroom or something… I know it’s my subconscious trying to talk myself out of it, but it rarely works.
November 17, 2015
I’m sure you’ve ascertained what a neurotic I am by now Deb. I was even worse as a child. I think I was obsessive compulsive because I used to have to tap out a particular rhythm with my fingers and if I didn’t finish it I’d freak. Sometimes if a certain song comes on the radio it can fill me with hope for the day as I see it as an omen. Same if I see a rainbow, even if it’s just in a sprinkler. I could go on forever.
November 17, 2015
Oh god, the omen song is me lately. “Fire and the Flood” by Vance Joy. My favourite song of the moment, and whenever I hear it come on the radio I get all puffed up and think it’s gonna be a GREAT day. And then my car breaks down or I crash into someone. That is literally what has happened. I hear that song now and I automatically duck for cover.
November 17, 2015
I used to ‘have’ to play certain songs on my iPod / iPhone before I arrived at work when I commuted… was sure they put me in the right state of mind… so I can completely relate to both!
November 17, 2015
I can definitely identify with you on #2 and #3 …
November 17, 2015
🙂
November 17, 2015
Gosh Deb I would hate to know what people really think of me, most would say self absorbed and shallow but those who really know me would hopefully say caring and sensitive! And I too hate using the phone for talking – so old school! xx
November 17, 2015
It’s weird isn’t it?! I mean, I’m fine on the phone and can talk to people, but I find I just don’t want to. I’ve had to get a landline since my seachange as my mobile doesn’t work in my apartment complex and the only calls (other than my mother’s) I get are from bloody dodgy salespeople or scammers! (That may also be because almost no one has my home number!)
November 17, 2015
With you on most of these (especially the phone) but am actually not an eenie meenie minie mo person but plan to be now!!! Simple genius no stress method!
November 17, 2015
It’s actually good for the non-important decisions Deb!
November 17, 2015
I can relate to all scenarios. Definitely done the counting thing – especially when I’m a little impatient. And if I don’t hear from someone I do sometimes think the worst. See you’re not alone after all. Also Id love to meet you in person so you can talk my ear off! X
November 17, 2015
Ditto Bec!
November 18, 2015
I much prefer texting/texts and even though we were horrified to be alerted to the fact that one of our dearest friends had unexpectedly died via text it was so much easier to read than to have to be told. A great read.
November 18, 2015
Thanks. When my father passed away I texted my 3 best friends to tell them. “Don’t call me,” I told them, cos I couldn’t speak. Didn’t want to speak. (I also wrote a blog post. Sometimes things are easier to write than say!)
November 18, 2015
I laughed at some of these & nodded at a few- especially the one about decision making (yep) & phone calls (don’t even think about it once I get home from work). My personal worst? Quite often things simply don’t occur to me- like people will say stuff like ‘I thought you might have…(insert whatever).’ Nope. why?
November 18, 2015
Ah yes, I was worse with the phone when I worked. In fact I didn’t often want to have to see / be nice to anyone when I got home! (Good thing I live alone!)
November 18, 2015
I can related to all of these Deb! I absolutely hate the phone. I let it ring and ring and hope that someone else will answer it. I much prefer text, email, FB message, anything rather than having to actually TALK to a person and think on the fly! I am also an introvert and need my alone time. You do socialise well. I thoroughly enjoyed our time recently over dinner!! Did you collapse in a heap afterwards? LOL
November 18, 2015
Ha! No I can survive the occasional outing. It’s only when I have too many commitments I start to struggle. 🙂
November 22, 2015
Oh I can relate to a lot of this especially the dreaded socialising!!!
November 22, 2015
Every year (as local blogging events near) stacks of people start commenting on their fear of the social events and networking. I find almost everyone worries about finding people to talk to, getting ignored, saying dumb things etc…
I’m fine in a group of strangers where I can just move from cluster to cluster. But today – for eg – I have this Christmas thing and am conscious that the last function like this I went to I felt very much on the outer. A lot of the people there are friends and know each other well, which isn’t the case for me. Plus it will be hot and I will be sweaty and self-conscious so not sure how long I will hang around for!
November 24, 2015
Yes it’s nice to know we’re not alone in weird habbits and especially with the internet there is always a chance to find someone else who has the same habbits of weird things. I think eeney meeney can be a good method for decision making at times. When I have a hard time deciding between different options I usually end up thinking too much about it and being unable to decide.
I don’t like calling someone, I have a bit of a phone fear, I hate calling people or picking up the phone, it always gives me a burst of anxiety. Why people can’t just e-mail me or use social media? I love those sites where you can make appointments online or can e-mail and don’t have to call.
Just like you I can socialize, but prefer not to as I prefer my alone time. I don’t go out often and am often exhausted after social interactions.
November 24, 2015
The phone thing is interesting isn’t it Lola? Once upon a time we all HAD to talk on the phone and had no other choice, and yet now it’s so uncomfortable. I’m usually fine once I get on there, but it’s the idea of it somehow. It feels SO much easier to email / text!