Last week I wrote about the overwhelm I was experiencing. I commented on the guilt I felt for being so exhausted when I was in such a position of privilege. Even saying “I want the world to pause so I can get off for a bit,” reeks of middle-aged white-personism.
A lot of messaging suggests we avoid social media, news or negativity… to preserve our own mental health. Our sanity.
It’s been a big year (or three). A lot of bad shit has gone down, some preventable. Some not.
There are endless memes around about the fact that 2020 pretty much sucks. About the fact the weeks and months have dragged on interminably despite the first half of the year basically flying by.
I felt a bit of online overwhelm early on, but at the same time it seemed little had changed in my world. I spent much of it at home and probably adjusted to ‘lock-down’ (such as it was here in Australia) better than most.
I’m trying to keep my blogging momentum going. Or get it started. Something like that anyway. I was working on something far more profound but it’s led me in so many circles I decided to stick to Denyse Whelan’s link-up theme today and I’m sharing some snaps. Not just any snaps… some that offer some insight into moi. Kinda.
The first two things I found when tidying my study a while ago. They were part of a heap of stuff my mother had handed me to me (report cards and the like, which I ditched).
I completed my MBA (Master of Business Administration) in 1998. Apparently that is more than a decade ago. Even more than two decades ago. Apparently.
I’d started the MBA before heading overseas to work in international development so completed it by distance and have vivid memories of trying to explain to a lecturer – via fax or telephone (ie. before internet) – that I was living in Mozambique. A Portuguese-speaking country and had no access to any English texts or literature of any kind.
Anyhoo… it’s a long time since I’ve done any formal study. And I should admit, I hated study. Hated it. I always did far better at subjects requiring understanding and ‘doing’ rather than ‘learning’.
Even before I officially started working from home as a contractor I worked (a little) from home in a less-official capacity. During my time with government (pre seachange), though I was never permitted to work remotely, I usually had to monitor emails and respond out of hours… or be pretty much available as required.
I’ve mentioned it a zillion times so you may be aware I don’t read non-fiction. I had heard however, a lot of good things about first, we make the beast beautiful by Sarah Wilson. And given everything happening at the moment, it seemed like a good time to dive into the beast-infested waters.
Wilson is of course known best for her I Quit Sugar initiative, program and books. For some reason I’d thought she’d separated herself from that movement but it’s mentioned a bit here. Although this book was first released in 2017.
I had planned to write something intelligent and insightful today, but now can’t be arsed. I did however want to participate in Denyse Whelan’s blogging link-up and the theme is ‘share your snaps’ and I figured that was doable.
I mentioned last week that ‘lockdown’ didn’t look terribly different in my world. I commented however, to someone yesterday, that I was struggling a little (with focus) as there felt as if there was a sense of something bigger, more important dislodging my thoughts and sense of purpose.
Finally… I have the opportunity to shine. I can excel at something. Be better than most. It’s only what I deserve after all—given all of the effort I’ve put in and the years of training.
Of course my achievements are going unnoticed. But I won’t pout or sulk. I won’t boast. Or maybe I will. Yes I know… I’ll write a blog post about it.
