I asked a question on Twitter a little while ago. It (both) was and wasn’t meant to be rhetorical as many of the thoughts I put into the ether are. Sometimes you get responses. Helpful suggestions that may or may not work for you. Or comments from those who feel the same and have no answers. Or there’s the proverbial deafening silence.
I really wanted to write something today but am too lazy to think about anything too deeply. I had some genius ideas last night while I was unable to sleep, but they have either disappeared from my memory, require further pondering, or are things that I don’t really NEED to (over)share.
I’ve been a misery guts for a while. Although, having said that, this could (in fact) be who I am now as I think it’s gone on for a few years… but I mean (even) more (so) of late.
I injured my back over two months ago and it wasn’t until this past week that I could get out of bed without levering myself in some weird slingshot type way lest I keel over in pain.
And then, I got an ear infection. Given I recently had my first cold sore in years I’d say it’s a reminder that my immune system is a tad fucked.
In May this year The New York Times explained that the melancholy, the malaise, the lack of vive la joie we’ve been experiencing was called languishing.
The paper referenced was published long before COVID became a thing and I certainly languished in the past but the article shares research explaining how many feel in this post-pandemic world. It also gives us a word to drop into conversations and blog posts. Languishing is – apparently – ‘the void between depression and flourishing’. The article also offers other descriptions, including ‘a sense of stagnation and emptiness’.
I feel like the past few years have been marred by constant disappointment. I never allow myself to be optimistic. I prefer to prepare myself for the worst and yet, when it appears (as expected), I’m deflated.
I’m trying to do more ‘personal blogging’ though not yet succeeding. Predominantly I want to just write more and focus less on book reviews, which often feel as if they’re a chore rather than something I enjoy.
I know I’m prone to overthinking and pondering things that really require no deliberation. Perhaps it’s a consequence of living alone my entire adult life. Until social media presented itself I had no outlet for my thoughts or commentaries. In the absence of someone next to me to whom I can make witty observations or share snarky repartee I either post it on Twitter or Facebook, or allow the thought to marinate endlessly in my mind.
So, today I bring you some controversial thoughts that have been bubbling around my head of late. And yes, I know with the current Middle East crisis and bloody Covid there are more important matters needing attention. However…
I signed up for the Australian Writers Centre May Mojo Month. Ironically it’s all about reigniting our creative juices and getting our mojo back and yet I ended the first week with only five of the nine days of activities done. Mojo schmojo apparently.
It’s day ten and I’m now catching up on what I’ve missed. I blame a uni assignment, a few hours of paid work, some book reviews and much procrastination. Anyhoo…
I actually paused on day three first time around* because I really liked a point made about creating habits and I needed to ponder it more. Regular readers may realise I believe stuff will only be absorbed into my psyche if I overthink about it. A lot.