I hate this time of year for a slew of reasons. And the fact that Christmas falls during this time just adds to my antipathy.
It’s summer here in Oz. It’s hot and sticky and – quite frankly – just horrible. And did I mention it’s hot and sticky?
I hate being sweaty and am (basically) constantly sweaty over a 3 – 4 month period at this time of year. In fact I’m already remembering why I cut my hair very short several years ago.
All of this hotness isn’t helped by the fact I wear more clothes than most people. And I’m reminded of this each time I see others getting about in skimpy summer gear.
Yesterday was one of those days. I was leaving the local Boat Club where I attend a Zumba class, clad in a very sweaty large t-shirt and leggings, complete with a red face and dripping hair.
As it was approaching midday the lunchtime crowd was arriving. I now live in a place renowned for being attractive to retirees and tourists and as a result the Boat Club crowd is usually quite casually attired. However yesterday the foyer was oozing with frocked-up women.
I immediately felt a stab of envy. Their presence was an unfortunate reminder of one reason I hate this time of year. I’m not much of a Christmas-parties kind of girl at the best of times, so felt relieved this year that I’m not working and moved to a new town two months before the year’s end. I figured I could escape the year sans parties completely. (BTW – The fact I’m now thinking of going to two is entirely beside the point!)
The gaggle of women at the Boat Club were dressed for the heat in strappy and sleeveless summer frocks. Bitches!
I’ve said it before but will say it again.
I WANNA WEAR A STRAPPY SUMMER DRESS!
Instead of wearing pants and loose big cotton shirts; I would like to bare my arms in summer and have the breeze blow between my legs. (In a manner of speaking and not in a weird way!)
It’s not just a party frock thing. I used to sit on the bus or train, travelling into work in a long-sleeved shirt, sweat dribbling down my back and glare at other women in their sleeveless tops or dresses. Bitches!
Naturally, I threw myself into my victim role. “Poor me! I cannot wear skimpy or cool dresses,” I thought. “It’s not fair!” I thought.
As I scoured the internet for pictures to include in this post it occurred to me I should include some plus-sized pictures. There are a few brands in Australia which cater for size 14+ (labelled plus-size here in Oz). I randomly chose one which had HEAPS of summer and party frocks.
After seeing these dresses (and other options available) it occurred to me others would say I ‘could’ be wearing summer frocks now.
Rather than waiting until I’ve lost a certain amount of weight and looking like the women in the first two pictures, I ‘could’ frock-up NOW, looking (hopefully vaguely) like the girl in the latter pictures. I realised it’s MY choice to NOT buy clothes that expose my body. I’m the one who feels self-conscious about the way I look. I’m the one not wanting to bare my arms. I’m the one worrying that I’ll offend others’ sensibilities, or attract derision or judgement.
I’m not much of a girlie-girl so never wear skirts or dresses, though probably would do so if I felt less-fat. But, I do like the middle dress in the City Chic collage. In fact, I wistfully imagined wearing it on Christmas Day before dismissing the idea.
It worries me I may never reach the weight I want to reach. That could mean I never get to wear the clothes I’d like to wear. And THAT is depressing.
There are a fabulous group of women who participate in an Aussie Curves series each Monday. I envy their bravery and confidence.
It occurs to me that instead of envying the skinny or slim women gadding about in summer frocks, I should be envying the not-slim women who choose to wear clothes that bare a bit of skin or show their curves.
Better still, rather than aspire to be slim enough to wear whatever I want, I should aspire to be someone who knows they ‘deserve’ their place in this world and who ‘owns’ it unequivocally.
That is all.