Frock envy

Friday, December 7, 2012 Permalink

I hate this time of year for a slew of reasons. And the fact that Christmas falls during this time just adds to my antipathy.

It’s summer here in Oz. It’s hot and sticky and – quite frankly – just horrible. And did I mention it’s hot and sticky?

I hate being sweaty and am (basically) constantly sweaty over a 3 – 4 month period at this time of year. In fact I’m already remembering why I cut my hair very short several years ago.

All of this hotness isn’t helped by the fact I wear more clothes than most people. And I’m reminded of this each time I see others getting about in skimpy summer gear.

Yesterday was one of those days. I was leaving the local Boat Club where I attend a Zumba class, clad in a very sweaty large t-shirt and leggings, complete with a red face and dripping hair.

As it was approaching midday the lunchtime crowd was arriving. I now live in a place renowned for being attractive to retirees and tourists and as a result the Boat Club crowd is usually quite casually attired. However yesterday the foyer was oozing with frocked-up women.

I immediately felt a stab of envy. Their presence was an unfortunate reminder of one reason I hate this time of year. I’m not much of a Christmas-parties kind of girl at the best of times, so felt relieved this year that I’m not working and moved to a new town two months before the year’s end. I figured I could escape the year sans parties completely. (BTW – The fact I’m now thinking of going to two is entirely beside the point!)

The gaggle of women at the Boat Club were dressed for the heat in strappy and sleeveless summer frocks. Bitches!

I’ve said it before but will say it again.

I WANNA WEAR A STRAPPY SUMMER DRESS!

Instead of wearing pants and loose big cotton shirts; I would like to bare my arms in summer and have the breeze blow between my legs. (In a manner of speaking and not in a weird way!)

It’s not just a party frock thing. I used to sit on the bus or train, travelling into work in a long-sleeved shirt, sweat dribbling down my back and glare at other women in their sleeveless tops or dresses. Bitches!

Naturally, I threw myself into my victim role. “Poor me! I cannot wear skimpy or cool dresses,” I thought. “It’s not fair!” I thought.

As I scoured the internet for pictures to include in this post it occurred to me I should include some plus-sized pictures. There are a few brands in Australia which cater for size 14+ (labelled plus-size here in Oz). I randomly chose one which had HEAPS of summer and party frocks.

After seeing these dresses (and other options available) it occurred to me others would say I ‘could’ be wearing summer frocks now.

Rather than waiting until I’ve lost a certain amount of weight and looking like the women in the first two pictures, I ‘could’ frock-up NOW, looking (hopefully vaguely) like the girl in the latter pictures. I realised it’s MY choice to NOT buy clothes that expose my body. I’m the one who feels self-conscious about the way I look. I’m the one not wanting to bare my arms. I’m the one worrying that I’ll offend others’ sensibilities, or attract derision or judgement.

I’m not much of a girlie-girl so never wear skirts or dresses, though probably would do so if I felt less-fat. But, I do like the middle dress in the City Chic collage. In fact, I wistfully imagined wearing it on Christmas Day before dismissing the idea.

It worries me I may never reach the weight I want to reach. That could mean I never get to wear the clothes I’d like to wear. And THAT is depressing.

There are a fabulous group of women who participate in an Aussie Curves series each Monday. I envy their bravery and confidence.

It occurs to me that instead of envying the skinny or slim women gadding about in summer frocks, I should be envying the not-slim women who choose to wear clothes that bare a bit of skin or show their curves.

Better still, rather than aspire to be slim enough to wear whatever I want, I should aspire to be someone who knows they ‘deserve’ their place in this world and who ‘owns’ it unequivocally.

That is all.

 

16 Comments
  • Lauren
    December 7, 2012

    This is such a great post – kudos for taking ownership of your clothing choices!
    Why did you dismiss purchasing the dress you liked in the centre of the City Chic collage, though?

    • Debbish
      December 7, 2012

      Hi Lauren, the main reason I immediately dismissed the dress was for all those reasons I mentioned (fat arms, bulging back fat etc). I can’t help but wonder if I’d feel really self-consious or just ‘fat’ in the dress (though at least I’d be cool!). I mean, I feel like that in normal clothes, but suspect I – at least – feel I’m covered up and less of an affront to others normally. (Which I know sounds ridiculous!!!)

      Deb

  • Jess
    December 7, 2012

    Get a strappy dress and wear it to that Xmas party! 🙂

    • Debbish
      December 7, 2012

      Oh…. Hmmmm….. My Christmas parties are next week (one for the Writers’ Group I’ve just joined and one for the Zumba company). Too late to do any shopping before then. Reply

  • Char
    December 7, 2012

    I’m fairly slim but I could never wear the dresses in the first picture either. My body shape just doesn’t suit them. I’ve had to learn the sort of things that I can wear – I have no waist so I’m better with a shift that hints at a waist rather than showing off what’s not there.
    Personally I really like the second lot of dresses. You could give it a go. What I’ve found is if you act confident no one ever questions your choices. Just fake it till you make it.

    • Debbish
      December 7, 2012

      I think most of my problem is how self-conscious I’d feel. Plus how I perceive myself. I look at other girls who do Aussie Curves posts and think they look great, but I look at myself in something and just see bulges and lumps! It’s hard for me to take a step back and look at myself in something when I look like I do! (Sadly!)

  • SawHole
    December 7, 2012

    Try ASOS.com, Ruche.com and Modcloth.com. Great dresses. I live in dresses and I am a size 14.

    • Debbish
      December 7, 2012

      Must admit I’ve never looked at ASOS but hear a lot about it. Will check it out along with the other two sites. Not sure what it is about dresses that makes me feel fatter (or let the fat flow free… or something!).

      Deb

  • Rebecca
    December 8, 2012

    I never really feel delicate or girl like but since embracing the dresses I’ve started to change my opinion. I’m still relatively covered but it just makes me feel more…um…pretty I guess.

    Try it, put your cynicism aside and embrace the twirly 😉

    • Debbish
      December 8, 2012

      Bizarrely I had a dream last night in which I wore a dress. Maybe it’s seeping into my subconscious!

  • Marion
    December 9, 2012

    Hi Deb! You’re thinking too hard and caring too much about what other people think. Wear the dress YOU want to wear. Who gives an F what others think! Be happy doing things the way YOU want to be. Quit being jealous and be a girl who also wears a strappy dress. Be who YOU want to be! Don’t wait for some contingency, just do it now. Wear the dress for you.

    🙂 Marion

    • Debbish
      December 9, 2012

      Marion, as I was writing my reasons for NOT wearing a frock, many of them related to I felt, but they were as much about how I felt others perceived me…. It’s like I think others can’t see my body when I cover up and wear loose things. (In fact I know it’s sometimes less complimentary!)

  • Sharmila
    December 9, 2012

    Hi Deb! Why don’t you at least try the dress and see how it feels. I agree with Rebecca .. I avoided them for a long time .. Wearing a dress made me feel girlie and it was interesting to actually get compliments rather than assuming what people would think. Also, if I make a bad choice, my family are pretty quick to let me know. Take your mum or a friend and get a real opinion. It’s so worth it!

    • Debbish
      December 9, 2012

      Thanks Sharmila… will see how I go when I’m in Brissy for Xmas. Suspect I need to be in the right frame of mind when shopping!

  • Nikki
    December 10, 2012

    You know my thoughts … Wear the dress. X

    • Debbish
      December 10, 2012

      Hmmmm….. (Don’t even own a strapless bra anymore. Well, not since the 1990s or earlier!)

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