Snakes alive

Sunday, September 16, 2012 Permalink

As mentioned in my last post, I’m currently in my childhood hometown, having arrived two days ago with my brother and niece for some ballet stuff.

My niece incidentally did very well in her three events: two seconds and a first. I know I may be biased but she really should have won one of the other items as well as her slow modern dance was just beautiful and brought this proud aunty to tears!

After the excitement of the Friday night ballet showcase, I spent Saturday morning visiting potential new abodes. For moi.

My mother accompanied me to offer a more level-headed and sensible opinion to the proceedings. Well that, plus the beachside locale is about half an hour away and she had to drive me!

We viewed three apartments on the esplanade in Hervey Bay before lunch. All three are around the same price, each with their advantages and disadvantages – ranging from size of the apartment to the views offered.

We returned home for a rest and nanna nap before venturing to the final viewing of the day. The property in question was at the smaller seaside town of Toogoom. The locale wasn’t really on my radar, but the gorgeous cedar house with high ceilings and exposed beams drew my attention. As we drove there I regaled my mother with a story of a  dream nightmare from the night before which involved snakes – one of my (and my mother’s) greatest fears.

I blamed my niece who had told us they’d locked their cats inside (while away) because they’d seen a snake on a neighbouring property. Despise my hatred of them, I bravely peeked at the picture of the dastardly creature on her iPhone.

While tossing and turning after the excitement of the ballet showcase (still buoyed by the most-excellent job I did on hair and makeup!), I dreamt about the houses I was to see, including the gorgeous cedar house but was haunted by a snake, slithering about the backyard.

I hate snakes. With a passion. I cannot even look at pictures of snakes. Like I said, I inherited this gene from my mother who is equally phobic. (I am, by the way, the same when it comes to sharks.)

After a never-ending journey we pulled up at the cedar house. As I’d envisaged being met only by the Real Estate agent I was a bit disturbed by the loud music coming from within.

It was obvious that the tenant was – in fact – home. The agent looked a bit nervous when he met us and given what unfolded I’m not surprised.

To say the house is decorated unconventionally is an understatement.

I’m pretty tolerant and able to look past tragic furnishings, artwork and the like; however this guy liked his military and militia paraphernalia. BIG TIME. Oh, and he obviously had a thing for skulls as well… as fake skulls were strewn about the house (at least I’m assuming they were fake).

Despite its potential the house disappointed. In many ways, including its poky bedrooms. But I was conscious that this poor agent had driven 30 minutes to meet me so I had to put in some effort.

The tenant was lingering outside trying to calm his two yapping dogs while mum and I continued looking about. And that’s when I saw them. Several large glass aquariums along one wall. Once I saw the twigs and debris in them I knew. I just knew.

I should have looked away. But like the proverbial train wreck my eyes were drawn to the aquarium and to the snake inside.

Fuck. Me. Dead.

“Don’t look there!” I said to mum, thinking I could save her the horror.

The tenant overheard me and explained that it was a friendly snake. Much loved by neighbourhood kids he said. In fact, he said, he got ‘that one’ out regularly for them to play with.

I tried to focus on the house but couldn’t.

I’m sorry, I just can’t stay in here,” I said to the agent, shocking my own mother with my conviction and rudeness.

Outside I apologised profusely for freaking out. Fortunately the agent’s own wife hates slimy reptiles as well so he was very understanding.

Mum and I debriefed about the incident all of the way back to her place. On arrival there I raced to the shower, to cleanse myself of the reptilian stench!

My mother’s relieved that she didn’t look into the  abyss aquarium as I haven’t been able to get it out of my head for the last day. She tells me though that there is no way she could ever sleep in that house in future. I must confess I feel the same!

I wondered aloud before if the agent would follow up with me next week, as they are wont to do. My mother suspects not… given the speed and tone of our departure!

It’s only my first weekend of house-hunting but fortunately I liked all three apartments we saw, as I may well now be traumatised for life and unable to wantonly walk unsuspectingly into another property! Ever!

Have you had a horror house-hunting experience?


  • Jo Tracey
    September 16, 2012

    yep. One place we walked into had every available space on the floor covered with mattresses and an all pervading stench of last years curry that would have required at least 6 coats of paint to hide.

    • Debbish
      September 16, 2012

      Wow! My mum commented on the dog smell as well at this place. (For me it was all about the snake!)

  • Natalie (XLasLife)
    September 16, 2012

    Luckily, nope! My parents put my childhood house on the market recently and we spend the next few weeks looking at a dozen or so properties before we found ‘the one’. I however, LOVE snakes and it’s my dream to own one one day, I guess you won’t be coming over for a cuppa if I do! However, I am petrified of spiders!

    • Debbish
      September 16, 2012

      Oh my god Natalie… We’d have to meet elsewhere! I find spiders a bit creepy but they don’t freak me out as much as snakes. Ugh!Reply

  • Maureen | Orgasmic Chef
    September 18, 2012

    Oh my, I’m not fond of snakes either but I’m not quite so afraid that if someone moved a snake out I’d still be upset.

    Good luck with the house hunting and the house selling and the resettling in the new location. It’s all very exciting!

    • Debbish
      September 18, 2012

      Hi Maureen… I actually got a bit freaked out when I googled pictures of lolly snakes (for the post) and some pictures of real snakes appeared. Ugh!

      And, you’re right – it’s very exciting… my own sea change!

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