Book review: The Worst Thing I’ve Ever Done by Clare Stephens

The Worst Thing I’ve Ever Done by Clare Stephens is a little outside of my crime fiction/thriller genre and I’m unsure if I requested the review copy but I’ve received so few (print / real) books lately I was keen to turn the pages of something tangible during my evening baths. And this, by the former Mama Mia editor-in-chief is certainly well-written, offering an insightful commentary on the online world today. Stephens knows that world and is well-placed to reflect on it… warts-n-all. In fact it means we get to go behind the scenes of the world of clickbait headlines and regurgitated stories featuring the royal family or B list celebrities.

It's an ordinary Tuesday morning when Ruby Williams' name starts trending online.

She's uploaded an interview that has outraged journalist Felicity Cartwright, a social media personality who has built her profile by policing exactly what women are allowed to say and how they're allowed to say it. Ruby is at the centre of a brutal public shaming, watching on in horror as her reputation is torn apart.

At first Ruby thinks she can get on top of it if she can just explain herself better. But she soon realises she'll never be able to placate the tsunami of strangers baying for her blood.

The vitriol pouring in through her phone cracks open a visceral, personal shame from her past that she's refused to face. Because the worst thing Ruby's ever done is not defined by this interview, but by a single, chilling scream.

Like Ruby I’m the sort of person who hates the idea of someone thinking badly of me. In fact my people-pleasing ways often mean my own needs aren’t met. Ruby knows this about herself but like me, she struggles not to try to change someone’s opinion of her or ensure the world SEES what a good person we are, and that they’ve misconstrued something we’ve written / said. In my workplace I tend to fall on my sword often and I know it infuriates a couple of my team members that I’ll apologise for something that wasn’t my / our doing to avoid dumping someone else in the shit. And sometimes it’s easier to apologise and move on.

Stephens / Ruby seems to be cynical about online platforms and digital media and those who make money from them, but (rather than drinking the koolaid) seems to believe it’s sometimes possible it’s good to leverage the opportunity to do the right thing or make the world a better place.

Bared’s content was raw, unfiltered and honest. We weren’t pretentious about the news—we didn’t assume any knowledge that the ordinary person wouldn’t have….

I thought the openness of Bared was radical, that it had the power to challenge our internalised shame. p 17

When I used to do more personal blogging and had a penchant for navel-gazing posts I often went to blogging events and the like and one of the nicest compliments I used to get was that I was EXACTLY like my online persona. (Although maybe that’s not a good thing? Hmm… needs more pondering.) Nevertheless my professional world (now) is such that I don’t feel I can write those sort of posts as I’d prefer not to be inauthentic online… my warped sense of humour and self-deprecating ways manifesting only via instagram stories rather than words uploaded to a website for eternity(ish).

We’re offered some great and nuanced characters here and Ruby is a likeable lead.

This book would be great for bookclubs as there’s a lot to process, asking ourselves what we would have done under the same circumstances, or whether we can relate to the haters. And of course, Stephens offers readers a sense of closure giving this a somewhat bittersweet (rather than satisfying) conclusion.

The Worst Thing I’ve Ever Done by Clare Stephens was published in Australia by Allen and Unwin.

I received a copy of this book from the publisher for review purposes.