Wordless Wednesday: Focusing on the good
I caught up with a friend on the weekend and we were talking about the issue of melancholy (rather than depression) and the need to remind ourselves of how fortunate we are.
I explained that I find it far too easy to ‘play the victim’. I get weighed down by my problems and fears (both real and perceived) and forget how blessed I truly am.
I said that I often let worries about money or guilt about things done or not-done overwhelm me. I said I tried (as much as possible) to remind myself how great my life is: living opposite the beach in a nice apartment; working part-time giving me free time for writing; friends to keep me sane; and family close by to offer me the intimacy I’ve often missed.
My friend almost leapt out of her seat as she told me that many (most) would envy my life. And I realised that could be true. I know I whine A LOT about stuff, but at the same time I say that this past year (here) has been the best of my life.
I’m naturally a glass-half-empty kinda gal, but need to acknowledge the good more often and – quite frankly… that list would almost always outweigh the bad. Hearing it from someone else (whose life is seemingly pretty good) was an important reminder.
I first came across this pic a few months ago and saw someone post it again the other day, so no idea where it originated – sorry!
Do you acknowledge the good as well as the bad?
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Lisa@RandomActsOfZen
March 5, 2014Yes! I just wrote about this too, and do try to focus on the good 🙂
Debbish
March 5, 2014Oh, I’ll go and have a look. You’re probably like me as I’ve written about the ‘victim’ thing and ‘things I take for granted’ quite a bit. I particularly liked that the pic uses the word ‘talk’.
I find it hard to change my thought patterns (and self-talk) but am conscious that I often articulate the negative stuff (verbally and here on the blog) way too much. I need to change that conversation! Rather than ‘offload’ here I probably need to focus more on the positives.
Lee-Anne
March 5, 2014Nice post, Deb. It’s always good to remind ourselves about staying positive. Being a half-glass-full type, I generally focus on the good stuff but lately we’ve had a lot of stress and it requires a big effort (plus numerous pep-talks to self) not to lapse into negativity…start to wallow. Your post is timely! 🙂
Debbish
March 5, 2014Thanks Lee-Anne. I’m sure everyone wallows from time to time, it’s probably the balance or our ability to pull ourselves ‘out’ that’s key!
Jo Tracey
March 5, 2014I tend to be glass half full- more often than not, anyway…& figure that the half that’s been consumed not only was delicious, but leaves room for something more!
Debbish
March 5, 2014Ha! Love that and you do (from your posts etc anyway) seem like a positive person!
🙂
Lisa Barton-Collins
March 5, 2014You do lead a very nice life Deb! I am naturally a glass half full person, so I am always looking at the good. The downside of this though is being surprised and dissapointed when things do not turn out so well. Lucky I focus on the good, hey? 😉
xx
Debbish
March 5, 2014Yes, I often say that it’s good that I’m cynical or pessimistic as I’m not surprised when everything turns to crap. But there’s a downside to expecting the worst!
Char
March 5, 2014This is such a great post for me today. I’ve been having one of those blah days – nothing’s really wrong but I’m feeling blah about life. Time to give myself a mental kick up the backside and remind myself about all the good stuff – and there really is a lot of good stuff if I can get out of my own way to think about it.
Debbish
March 5, 2014Yes, it’s something I often struggle with – just feel life is kinda pointless but need to remember the good stuff more.
Liz
March 5, 2014Hi Deb,
I think I’m good at focusing on the good but it’s definitely been a learned process for me. Often I’m sad sack and as Char said, a good kick up the pants is the way to go for me.
x
Debbish
March 5, 2014Yes, I’m a bit the same and my friend’s comment on the weekend was good for that reason.
ann
March 5, 2014It is so easy to be negative, I am really trying this year to be a little more positive. Great quote.
Debbish
March 5, 2014I know. I love that quote Ann – also because it’s about what we ‘say’ rather than what we ‘think’.
Satu
March 5, 2014I’m a natural pessimist too. 🙂 These days I worry less about it because of the mindfulness skills training I’m putting myself through.
It’s always very interesting to hear how other people view your life. It can be quite surprising sometimes. I’ve noticed that comparing myself with other people’s “lots” or even to my own imagined better future makes me unhappy. A problem with comparisons is that we tend to cherry pick, meaning we compare ourselves with what is good in others’ lives and forget everything else. And we might not be aware of all the stuff that goes on…
Debbish
March 5, 2014Oh yes… what’s that saying about never knowing what another person’s going through…?
The comparison trap is a hard one but I’m kinda happy that I can recognise that my life is ‘mostly’ good!
Alicia
March 6, 2014Something I need to do is realise my blessings more, every day. Thank you for the reminder to be less of a sad sack about the little things that give me shits, real and perceived. xx
Debbish
March 6, 2014Thanks Alicia.
@Kanga_Rue
March 6, 2014Like Satu, I was going to mention mindfulness. It really can be a powerful thing. Our worldview can often be a little too close a reflection… practice (something I’m definitely still working on myself) makes is more natural though.
Debbish
March 6, 2014Yes, mindfulness is def something I need to work on!
Susan Lattwein
March 6, 2014The past year being your best is a very positive comment. I hope you top that!
I’m trying to stop defaulting to my hard-wired fear of scarcity; not enough sleep, not enough time, exercise, money. Not thin enough, smart enough, fast enough.
A girlfriend and I were curious about glass half empty / full thinking, and have been experimenting; trying to be positive, whole-hearted, not gossip, nice about husbands, asking each other ‘what’s the worst that can happen’ etc. It began as a game, correcting what we said to each other. It hasn’t always worked, but we’ve amused ourselves, even perhaps changed our thinking a little. Except the other day she raised an eyebrow and said, “You’re much more interesting when you’re not being wholehearted.” 🙂
Debbish
March 6, 2014Ha ha. Bitchy is sometimes more interesting!
The scarcity thing is interesting and I wonder if it’s quite common. I talk about something similar and the concept of ‘enough’ – not having enough of something and fearing I’ll run out.