Tomorrow I will wake with enthusiasm

Saturday, March 7, 2015 Permalink

I’m writing and posting this before I have second thoughts. In case it hasn’t been obvious I’ve been struggling to put fingers to keyboard of late. I’m doing okay with my book-related blog posts, but when it comes to writing about other stuff… let’s just say I have eight half-written blog posts from the last two weeks alone. They’re about everything from my first and only time horse riding; Orientation Week at Uni almost exactly 30 years ago; to my inability to visualise myself when meditating. 

However, I’m bored silly. I get (what I think is) some fabulous idea, write a heap of words before finding I’ve gone off on some tangent and can no longer remember why on earth I thought the subject worthy of public consumption. So I stop and have a rest. I lie down but then get up again. Rinse. Repeat.

I’ve overanalysed to death pondered this malaise and realise that I’m just struggling with enthusiasm. For anything. I was already in a bit of a post-work slump when I got my ear infection. Over a week later and although a visit to the Ear Nose & Throat Surgeon was required, the infection must surely be gone as my ear is pain-free. But… it’s still blocked—making the world a little wonky.

And then there’s the 2+mths of poor sleep and whole peri-menopause thing. But let’s not go there.

Source: wakeuptolive.com

Source: wakeuptolive.com

I’ve been waiting to feel better. “Soon….,” I keep thinking, “I’ll be ready to kick butt. I’ll proactively look for work and freelance writing opportunities. I’ll follow through on the ideas I have.” And… of course, “I’ll get back to my circuit classes.”

And I’m still waiting.

Years ago I wrote about kids waking full of awesome. At the moment—with so little to look forward to—I rarely feel like waking at all. It’s hard to feel any enthusiasm for anything. (Cue #pityparty)

However…

Even as I write all of that I realise it’s no excuse to wallow in self-pity. Short-term illness and my impending state of poverty is no reason for me to fall in a heap when I still have so much more than most. So —back to the reason I’m writing and posting this before I can have second thoughts and shelve it with my other ‘drafts’—tomorrow I’m gonna wake full of enthusiasm.

I’ll stop putting things off until I’m ‘in the mood’ or feel better. I’ll attack my To-Do list and I’ll focus on the good stuff. Cos I DO know there’s a lot of it.

Do you wake with enthusiasm? Ever?

10 Comments
  • Michelle Weaver (@pinkypoinker)
    March 7, 2015

    I’m very glad to hear you’re finally pain free at least. I used to have a lot of ear problems as a kid and I can still remember the pain. All of your post ideas sound interesting to me, especially the horse riding one. I went last year and wrote a post about it. It almost killed me. I rarely wake up feeling enthusiastic these days which is naughty. At least I’m alive and healthy and you never know what the day might bring. It doesn’t usually bring anything but one day it will… I hope. Or am I supposed to make it happen?

    • Debbish
      March 7, 2015

      I suspect it’s a combo Michelle. At least I believe so. Fate has something to do with it, but then we need to ‘make’ it happen if we really want it to.

  • Jess
    March 7, 2015

    Must be something in the air, because I have been in a huge funk. I do sometimes wake with enthusiasm, but I definitely go through long stretches where I feel like I am living in ground hogday. I am glad your ear is clearing, if it doesn’t unblock get the Doctor to flush it. I did it laat time I had an infection and I have never heard so clearly in my life. It was amazing! I hope you feel better soon and stumble upon some good luck to cheer you up! I always enjoy your life posts!

    • Debbish
      March 8, 2015

      Ah yes… some good luck would be nice – though I’m trying to remind myself (like I said to Michelle / Pinky) that we play a role in making our own luck!

  • Jo
    March 8, 2015

    Don’t you wish they bottled that stuff? Enthusiasm? I’d buy a whole case!

    • Debbish
      March 8, 2015

      Indeedy! Though I am struck by this quote from Elizabeth Gilbert which has been shared on FB a bit today.

      Happiness is a consquence of personal effort

  • Char
    March 9, 2015

    I don’t know if I ever wake up enthusiastic. It’s more that I wake up with a list of things in my head that I know I have to get done. Then I try to work out the most efficient way of getting them done so I can fit in the important things in life – like having a quiet coffee with the crossword. Or sneaking an hour of TV viewing before I have to work.

    • Debbish
      March 9, 2015

      At the moment on the writing front it feels like there’s always more I can be doing – blog posts, book reviews, reading others’ blog posts, emailing potential clients offering my services etc so I feel guilty when I’m not at my desk. But then when I am I just look at everything and feel overwhelmed. Ridiculous given that (other than the latter… finding freelance writing opportunities) I don’t get paid for any of it!

  • Marie
    March 15, 2015

    Love reading your posts. I really enjoy your take on the world and your sense of humour . Just remember your feeling blah is not forever. Keep on keeping on. I was a single mum of 4 and one Fridy evening I went to a school reunion and met up with my old boyfriend. We’ve been together for 5 years, You never know what the day will bring.

    • Debbish
      March 15, 2015

      Oh Marie, what a lovely comment. Thanks!

      Oh and how amazing!!! (Although I recently missed my 30yr school reunion!)

      Deb

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