This day: life and death

Tuesday, December 11, 2012 Permalink

I’m off to a funeral today. Not-fun. And even less-fun for the family involved of course.

The funeral is for the father of a childhood friend of my brother’s. My brother isn’t able to attend so I thought I’d go (with my mother). I spent much of my childhood traipsing about the countryside with my brother and his basketballing friends so it feels the thing to do.

Even worse, the friend in question also lost his wife just a few weeks ago.  So much sadness in such a short space of time.

It’s the first funeral I’ve been to since my dad’s, so I’m a little worried about my own reaction. I know that sounds like I’m making it about me (and maybe I am) but I can’t help but feel it’s wrong to be mourning / celebrating someone’s life, while thinking about someone else. (A bit like thinking about someone else while having sex. Which is APPARENTLY not the done thing!)

The funeral’s also taking place on a poignant day for my family.

Twelve years ago today my father received a heart transplant.

I’ve written about it before – in 2009, 2010 and 2011, so there’s no need to rehash it all again.

Except to say, unless you’re thinking of being cryogenically frozen (which I am), then please consider organ donation, which can offer the gift of life to many others.


  • KCLAnderson (Karen)
    December 12, 2012

    It’s human to connect these types of feelings together…it’s what connects us all. I remember going to an uncle who died about a year after my Dad did and my sister and I talked a lot about our Dad on that day…and it helped us connect to our cousins…we knew their pain.

    • Debbish
      December 12, 2012

      It wasn’t as bad as I expected it to be Karen. It wasn’t until one of the grandchildren read a poem at the end and became upset that I (well, almost everyone) lost it!

  • Mel
    December 12, 2012

    That’s terrible news about your/your-brother’s friend and then his wife before him.
    I hope you held up OK at the funeral yesterday…xx

  • Lou Lou
    December 13, 2012

    Terrible news. I am sure they are happy for your support, it’s very nice of you to go on behalf of your brother.

  • Jess
    December 11, 2013

    Such sad news. Great message about organ donation though.

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