In returning to a more challenging role in government late last year it felt like I was finally find my feet again. Regaining some momentum.
I actually thought everything else – that frustrated me about the life I’d been living – would fall into place… akin to the domino effect. I’d be based in an office (with others) most of the time so would spend less time grazing on snacks all day. I’d be forced to move a little – walking from my car to the office at a minimum and even during a quick break at lunch. I thought eating healthier and moving more might then motivate me to start exercising again.
Both food and exercise are fraught subjects for me having been to extremes with both. Often they go hand in hand… if I’m feeling better about myself – which I think this new job has precipitated – I take care of myself better. I feel more worthy and want the best for me, rather than feeling as if it doesn’t matter how I ravage my body.
I’ve caught up with a few friends recently and everyone notices I seem much happier being back in a more challenging and fulfilling job. And I’m hoping to learn from the past and not go ‘all in’ so there’s nothing else in my life. But the other habits I assumed would fall into place are lagging behind. Even though I feel better about myself (and yes, it’s scary how much of my self-esteem and worth is tied to my work / career) I’m not magically motivated to make changes to be healthier.
Having said that I am starting to feel a little better. I talked late last year about feeling unwell and unhealthy. I launched into 2023 with a cold or flu (or possibly COVID) and then injured my shoulder. It wasn’t until I was away on a work trip last week – the third week of January – that I realised I felt ‘well’. Uninjured. Unencumbered.
A friend reminded me the year is still new. THERE IS STILL TIME. And I was reminded of my all or nothing habit. My black / white thinking that’s led me to some of the extremes I’ve traversed over the past 40+ years.
So, while the domino effect might not yet have kicked in as I’d hoped, I’m reminding myself I’ve already made some small changes and can continue to do so. I don’t have to compare myself to others doing so much more. I don’t even have to compare myself to the person I used to be. That person (for better AND worse) has gone. She’s changed. And is still changing.
How’s your 2023 tracking?
** Image by Tangerine Newt via Unsplash **
January 27, 2023
All the best for 2023 whatever it may bring!
January 27, 2023
Thanks so much.
January 27, 2023
Hi, Deb – Your friend is very wise, as are you. The year is very new. You have already made a big change, and your friends have noticed the positive results. The other changes that you desire can now follow this positive path that you set – perhaps not like dominos, but more meaningfully one small step at at time. Please keep us posted.
January 27, 2023
Yes… small iterative changes are always more sustainable. I recall a post I wrote about something called ‘habit-stacking’ as well I should revisit!
January 27, 2023
Hi Deb, I’m so pleased the new job has helped you to feel more you, and better about yourself. I’ve learnt we can never compare ourselves to any former versions of ourselves because we’re continually getting older and as we get older, though our core selves remain the same, our priorities seem to change and what fulfills us can change. Also what annoys us! I think you’re on a very positive path for 2023 and you are looking so good Deb! xo
January 27, 2023
I feel very frumpy and blah at the moment. My hair feels dull and shapeless – at the moment it’s ending right at my jawline so much wide face looks even wider. And I really don’t feel very fit but I guess all I can do is work on it can’t I? (Slow and steady etc etc)
January 27, 2023
Couldn’t not love this more…but here’s the thing,…you know the B&W thinking is no good for you …but it’s what you turn to. I do too. In fact, some of my thinking has reverted negatively and still judgy about me, so today I wrote YET another post and published it because it helped me put together what I needed to say and share… And something I am telling myself more, if it helps you, is nothing is permanent …feelings, thoughts etc….Take care dear Deb, Denyse x
January 28, 2023
I’d actually written this post last weekend Denyse and planned to post it to link up to your Wednesday post but then put it aside before it played on my mind again and I posted it. It’s hard when you know your thinking is unhelpful.
January 27, 2023
Good to hear you’re in a good place Deb. I think you’re very wise not to compare yourself to others or to your previous self. I know from experience this isn’t easy and have found it often ends in me being in a funk. Sounds like your new job has come along at the right time for you.
January 28, 2023
It certainly has Jen. I know it’ll have its ups and downs but I’m certainly enjoying it and it’s offering some challenges.
January 27, 2023
Hi Deb – I’m a big fan of “small steps” and not over-doing things. I noticed that I set back my hip recovery by pushing forward too quickly. I needed to stop giving myself an end date for recovery – and just allow it to happen gradually. I think that suddenly realizing how well you feel is a microcosim of what the future holds as you settle into this next phase. Enjoy 2023 and do it at your own pace.
January 28, 2023
Oh I hadn’t realised that’d happened with your hip Leanne. I tend to dip in and out of the blogging world at the moment – headspace-wise… if that makes sense.
And I certainly agree that how we feel impacts on what comes our way. I know I’m more positive about things or their potential when I’m in a good frame of mind and I’m less likely to let the bad stuff wear me down completely!
January 28, 2023
Isn’t it so hard to restructure our thinking patterns? Even knowing black and white thinking isn’t the best when it’s your fall back it’s your fall back. BUT knowing it’s not the only way to approach life is 1/2 the battle. It sounds like the new job is going so well! Congrats.
January 28, 2023
Yes, it occurs to me I might never be able to let it go, or not immediately jump to those thoughts but at least I recognise them and can question them. (Or ask myself why I’m wanting to jump to that negative place!)
January 28, 2023
HI Deb, I’m so pleased to hear that you are enjoying the new job. I’m an ‘all or nothing’ person and it is hard to just start small and build up. If you are happy in your new job the other things in life will follow as you settle in. You will feel healthier and then probably more motivated to take that to the next level. I’m a big believer in taking small steps when making lifestyle changes. However, I also understand that the biggest hurdle is our mindset and letting go of the beliefs we may have held for many, many years. Wishing you all the best for 2023 and thanks so much for joining us for the What’s Been On Your Calendar? link up. I look forward to reading your February post. Take care xx
January 28, 2023
Thanks Sue. Yes… I’m trying to remind myself that I’m still settling into a lot of changes in my work life – as well as working from an office, travelling to Maryborough to work, having to find / wear real clothes every day plus having to negotiate that more formal work environment given I’ve been so laid back for so long.
But of course the longer I put off ‘starting’ I realise the bigger it becomes in my mind or the more demon-like it becomes…
January 28, 2023
I know I said it when we caught up, but I can really see the change in you. It’s like the purpose and the responsibility has lit you up from inside. It’s lovely to see.
January 28, 2023
Oh thanks and that was one of the conversations I was thinking about when I first wrote this last weekend!
January 28, 2023
It is. I actually did a new post last night about my thoughts on thinking
January 30, 2023
I saw that!!!
January 29, 2023
Small steady steps Deb! I’m glad to see you’re feeling good about your new job and the changes it is bringing to you. Comparisons do nothing for us and I know I’m guilty of doing that at times, I have to tell myself that I’m me and not the person I was 20 years ago in many ways. Hope things keep improving for you and I love Jo’s comment that ‘It’s like the purpose and the responsibility has lit you up from inside. It’s lovely to see.’ How supportive and insightful is that comment, Jo is a wonderful person and a lovely friend!
January 30, 2023
Oh yes, she is indeed. She’s actually the friend I mentioned I initially had the chat with re the fact I was disappointed that I hadn’t made more changes, but reminded me it’s still January!
January 29, 2023
I’m pleased to hear you’re enjoying the new job. When you’re ready to make the changes, you will. The year is new and any day is a good day to make one small change. Thank you for your #weekendcoffeeshare.
January 30, 2023
Thanks Natalie and true. Any change – no matter how small – is a good first step!
January 30, 2023
A new job is a great way to re-frame thinking, the little things add up to the bigger things.
January 30, 2023
Yes – the change was what I was really needing and hopefully that continues.
February 2, 2023
I’m so glad for you that your new job makes you happier and more content with life, and so much that your friends notice that too! The new job in itself is a big change, and you can add new habits one by one when you feel ready to do so (and don’t rely on motivation because it’s too fluctuating). The all or nothing pattern is a tough one but it sounds like you’re doing well with changing your thinking.
February 3, 2023
Thanks Susanne. I need to remind myself not to underestimate the impact (lifestyle shift) this new job has. Back to working out of hours, more stress and responsibility etc… so that’ll take some getting used to as well.