I finished a part-time contract gig last week. I’d been with the company for about 14-15mths and it was a decision I did not make lightly. I’m a little unsure of what will come next but unlike my departure from government over two years ago, there’s no financial buffer this time around.
I’ve been wallowing a little this week as a result. On one hand I feel like I need a short holiday or break, but on the other I should be planning for my future. Which is all a long way of saying I’ve started half a dozen posts over the last two weeks — all of which are wallowing in my drafts folder as I again ponder the future of this blog / site.
However, I do need to step out of this funk. Soon. And to help me do that I’m following the lead of Pip from Meet Me At Mike’s who came up with the fabulous idea of taking stock every so often – providing a ‘checklist’ of sorts (which I’ve slightly adapted). Emily from Have A Laugh On Me shared a similar post and as I completed this I was reminded how much I like being given an assignment.
Listening: to the rather-loud and argumentative family who have an office in front of my apartment complex.
Cooking: potatoes, potatoes and more potatoes in some weird can’t-get-enough-potatoes fest. Faux chips, real chips, potato bake, roast potatoes. You name it; I want it!
Drinking: far too much vanilla diet coke. But not much alcohol. Hopefully the second outweighs the first.
Reading: a book in a sitting. If She Did It by Jessica Treadway kept me occupied for several hours last night.
Wanting: to pull myself out of this funk and make some decisions about my professional future.
Looking: ahead. Not back. (The old windscreen vs rearview mirror analogy!)
Wasting: less time now I’ve deleted Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and other apps from all of my mobile devices. I don’t want to go completely social media free, but I spend way too much time envying others’ lives and need to bloody well focus on my own!
Wishing: I weighed 50kg less; and had a fabulous part-time job which challenged me, left me enough time and headspace for my writing and paid really well. (So, I’m really not asking much! 😉 )
Enjoying: book blogging / reviewing.
Waiting: to feel better but knowing I’m the only one who can make that happen.
Remembering: how much happier I am since making my seachange over two years ago. I have no regrets at all.
Watching: the TV show Forever, which I understand may be axed soon if it isn’t already. I’m pretty sure it’s Ioan Gruffudd’s accent which has sucked me in, but nonetheless…
Loving: the online community and support I receive from my virtual friends. (And my IRL friends, including the lovely Felicity who dragged me out of the house yesterday!)
Hoping: some night soon I can sleep before 2am. I think it may be menopause related but it’s been about six weeks since I’ve had a decent sleep.
Marvelling: that I can be so exhausted when I’m doing absolutely nothing.
Needing: more sleep.
Wearing: what I wore to bed – a singlet and shorts.
Knowing: this too shall pass.
Thinking: far too much and doing far too little. 🙂
Feeling: guilty I slept in and didn’t go to my circuit class this morning and…
Worrying: about my future. (I sense a theme….)
Trying: not to catastrophise so much and reminding myself I only finished work last Friday.
Appreciating: that I live in a (relatively!) democratic country, in a great location, have friends and family who care about me and am in good health.
See, ending on a positive?! (Although… did I mention my ear infection?) 😉
Can you relate to any of these? Do you wallow?