I’m attending my first big blogging conference at the end of June.

If you asked me I’d say I’m excited rather than nervous or worried in any way, but my subconscious may be telling a whole other story.

On Sunday night I had a dream nightmare about the event. And no… I didn’t turn up naked or anything like that! (Or in last year’s fashion, or with a laptop rather than an iPad. Oh wait… I WILL be doing that!)

But the dream in question was a bit like one of those ‘first day at school’ dreams but worse… given I am a grown-up ‘n all!  In fact I’m almost afraid to divulge it lest some eminent dream analyst is reading this and decides a locked door & padded room would be of assistance. (So I definitely won’t confide my regular giant contact lens dream cos even those who know and love me think that one’s weird!)

As suggested in the movie Inception, this dream started partway through and the first thing I remember is wandering into a lecture theatre to find a seat. I don’t know how, but I knew I was in Sydney at Nuffnang’s Blogopolis. The room was crowded but not packed as it was – apparently – the eve of the conference and I was attending some optional pre-conference event.

I was a tad late (so the stage was set cos I’m NEVER late!) but just after I arrived everyone else in the room pulled out their books and conference material. I didn’t have anything with me – given that the bloody conference hadn’t started ‘n all… plus given that I am adult I wasn’t expecting a bloody pop quiz! (Although I didn’t have a bag or anything with me, which is a tad weird I will admit!)

Naturally the speaker called on me and I had to confess I didn’t have the material and hadn’t realised I needed to do the reading for that particular session. (Yep, we’ve all seen that in the movies haven’t we: the recalcitrant college student from the wrong side of the tracks NOT having done the assigned reading….)

Even now I still remember my dream-shame at offering up such a bad first impression to bloggers-who-matter!

I can’t remember how I did it, but I slunk out of the lecture theatre to go to my hotel room to get my materials. But the place was huge. Huger than huge! There were banks of elevators and sprawling stairwells everywhere and naturally I got lost!

Long story short, during what seemed like forever I repeatedly went to a desk to get my room number and directions. And I repeatedly forgot both and got lost again and again. As I became more and more fragile and stressed I stopped on occasion to have a little lie down on sofas strewn about the hotel (as you do).

And on those occasions I did find my room I had no key (or card) to enter. I was completely empty handed – as I had been in the lecture theatre – so had to go back to a desk to ask for help… after which I’d get lost again.

I remember:

• Stressing I was missing the conference
• Wishing a bloody hotel staffer would take me under their wing and guide me to my room
• Seeing some gorgeous man who appeared to work at the hotel and who I particularly wanted to come and save help me

Naturally – as in all good dreams, there was no end. I’m sure the gorgeous man was going to come and find me distraught, lying on a sofa and have his way with me assist, but the dream didn’t last that long… Or if it did it wasn’t that memorable.

There’s no reason for me to be nervous about the conference (though one does hear tales of being unable to get a seat at the cool kids’ table!) and I don’t have to impress anyone so can’t be suffering performance anxiety!?!

So, what does it all mean I wonder? And does it actually have to mean anything?

What do you think? Does my dream mean I have some deep-seated concerns?
Do you sometimes google the meaning of your dreams? Or is that just me?