Last Thursday I wrote about success and happiness and shared a couple of quotes which made sense to me. I talked about ‘intuitive decision making’ which sounds very wanky, but really just means ‘going with your gut’.
I quoted Christie Inge and Kelly and Brooke from the Let It Be podcast – all of whom talked about the sense of discomfort when our choices aren’t aligned with our values or goals.
I’ve been thinking about this over the last few days. On a slightly less arcane scale.
I want this rug you see. Or mat. Whatevs. A big thing that goes on the floor.
I shared it on my FB page and everyone agreed they loved it and I was (yet again) filled with the knowledge that my taste is exquisite and revered by many. 😉
The point, however… was that I wanted it but couldn’t / shouldn’t buy it.
I’ve spent shitloads of money since buying my new place. I’d budgeted for some of it (new security door, septic tank check, lawn mowing and some handyman stuff). But some of it I hadn’t really predicted – new security lighting outside, pump fixed on water tank, outside of house cleaned. And the latest… airconditioning.
Because my house is one-storey and long my cooling and heating choices were many and complex. My study is at one end and bedroom the other. And the large living space in the middle. I considered ducted aircon (which I had in my apartment) but the price tag was exorbitant, so I’m going with one VERY big airconditioner in the living space. And it’s costing the equivalent of two flights to Europe.
It wasn’t until I’d said yes to the quote and ordered it that I considered that last fact.
I haven’t travelled for ages. I was working a lot at one point when I had the money… and then when I wasn’t working I could no longer afford travel. Post seachange, interstate travel or even weekends away have been off the table.
And now I’m working part-time, I look enviously at friends who jaunt about overseas, and attempt to remind myself of my fabulous work / life balance.
I still can’t afford a European holiday but as I fritter away the last remnants of my savings it occurs to me I ‘could’ have done without airconditioning and put that money towards my long-desired trip to Tuscany (the only place I actually want to go).
However, after more analysis I realised…. what I really want (what I really really want) is to be happy in my own space. And that means a cool (or warm in winter) and comfortable living environment. My dream of Tuscany can remain for another day.
It was a revelation which surprised me a little. I felt very adult-ish and shockingly responsible. (Although the over-analyser in me wondered if I was just being lazy and going with the familiar!)
Which brings me – eventually – back to the rug. It’s my birthday just after Christmas and – now I’m older and don’t care – my mother buys me a joint present. This year we’ve talked about her putting some money towards a Fitbit. It’s something I’ve talked about for ages as I’m not happy with the extent of my exercise, and my incidental exercise is atrocious.
However… I’m now rethinking that decision. The rug is about the same price. And would possibly last me longer. And bring me more happiness. I think.
Of course she may refuse to contribute to such a frivolous purchase, but…. it’s weird isn’t it, how our priorities change?!
(And yes, I realise I’m the queen of #firstworldproblems!)
Do you sometimes surprise yourself when it comes to prioritising? Am I weird in putting housey stuff ahead of experiences or dreams?