Prevaricating

Thursday, April 14, 2022 Permalink

I’d basically decided two weeks ago that I would indeed go to England in late July to attend the Old Peculier Crime Writers Festival. I decided it was a no-brainer. “Life’s short!” I told myself as I contemplated the idea of a 2-3 week holiday to look forward to. I sent an email to the organisers to book an accommodation package for the festival.

And then I checked some Covid-related insurance information. Read some fine-print. It seems not everything is covered and I pondered the likelihood of something unforeseen happening before then, or while I’m away.

And naturally I started prevaricating. I’m not overly concerned about getting Covid myself (though I know that’s glib and it can indeed hit some very hard) but more worried about border rules changing or getting Covid when I’m due to come home and suddenly having to pay for a couple of extra weeks’ accommodation.

prevaricating

Of course though I love the idea of visiting England (for the first time ever) there’s a smidge of nervousness about my job security. Dropping $15k or so on 2-3 weeks away seems frivolous when I might need that to live on for several months. Or… I could get my rotting dodgy side porch fixed, replace some mouldy curtains and tidy up my gardens.

I thought I was pursuing my ‘heart’ when I decided I’d go to the festival. Not letting the rational thought or responsibility that rules my head penetrate my overanalysis for a change.

But then I overthought it more. Perhaps getting some new curtains (finally) and doing some stuff around my house would (in fact) bring me pleasure. Perhaps I could delay gratification and plan to go to the festival in 2023. Of course I may in the same precarious situation then – re finances and Covid – but perhaps not.

My mind changes daily. Well hourly. Mostly I worry about the regret I’ll feel if I don’t travel to England. But then I feel a little excited when I think about house-related treats. And… perhaps I could go on a couple of shorter (less-expensive) holidays in Australia. I like the idea of staying in a (nice) beach shack on top of a cliff overlooking tumultuous seas. Or a lake. I bookmark pics like that from Tasmania (or South Australia) all of the time on Instagram.

In some ways it’s back to the ‘things’ vs ‘experience’ values call or decision. But – those who see my social media feeds will know how much pleasure I get from my place. My space. My things.

Decisions decisions… 

Image: by Ivan Aleksic on Unsplash

8 Comments
  • Larraine
    April 14, 2022

    This is a tough one for you. Firstly, are you able to get your money back or a credit if you decide not to go? Is it on next year? Are you able to save the amount of money required in one year (in a special account perhaps)?
    But, who knows what will happen in one year – anything really the way things are.
    As you say – decisions, decisions – arrrrrrrrr.
    Good luck, put your faith in the Universe and you will make the right decision.
    ❤️❤️

  • Larraine
    April 14, 2022

    Wow, that is scary. Maybe search for one that does, although probably more expensive than the usual travel insurance.

  • Jay
    April 14, 2022

    Well in this brave new world where we’re meant to be “living with covid” lockdowns, border closures, and event cancellations are meant to be a thing of the past. Still, what if though? I have friends planning to visit the UK likewise over the summer, and while they have family there, and could stay “indefinitely” if they were forced to stay on for whatever reason, they’re going through the same thought process. Last time we spoke they were leaning towards delaying until 2023 as well… Good luck whatever you decide doing 🙂 BTW: prevaricating, I think that’s the word of the day 🙂

    • Debbish
      April 16, 2022

      Looking at the insurance options the main issue (in terms of coverage) seems to be if the UK is deemed ‘high risk’ or something and then I wouldn’t be covered.

      In many ways deciding against going feels like not having to make a decision at all (and the easiest option) but I’m mostly worried I’ll regret not going.

  • Theresa Smith Writes
    April 17, 2022

    You’re braver than me. I find everything too uncertain to contemplate leaving the country right now, as much as I’d like to. The situation with Russia and Ukraine remains another blockage, in my mind. Aware this is no help, sorry! But I am generally a worrier and over thinker about these things.

    • Debbish
      April 18, 2022

      I hadn’t actually thought about the Russian / Ukraine element I must confess. I’m more worried just about border closures or travel limits being introduced at the last minute and losing all of my money.

I'd love to hear your thoughts