Even before I officially started working from home as a contractor I worked (a little) from home in a less-official capacity. During my time with government (pre seachange), though I was never permitted to work remotely, I usually had to monitor emails and respond out of hours… or be pretty much available as required.
So… you’d think I’d be used to spending my days at my desk.
And I am. I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that (despite COVID-19) it’s pretty much ‘business as usual’ (BAU) for me. For much of the earlier part of this year I didn’t have many hours of work (just 5-6hrs a week) but I’ve had to do a bit extra recently in someone’s absence. And obviously the increased money has been great but it’s come at a weird time…. amidst the coronavirus pandemic, when everyone’s working from home and doing everything online.
I’m usually pretty good at switching from one thing to another and my ADD-like mind probably helps in that respect.
However, what I’ve noticed I’m struggling with is that EVERYTHING has moved online. It’s a novelty for some… participating in Facebook live sessions, online book launches, virtual events; but even though I desperately want to support authors launching books at this terrible time; I’ve not been able to join.
You’d think some light hilarity, creativity, inspiration and celebrations would be welcomed given I spent more time than I already should on social media and reading about idiotic presidential shenanigans and the like.
But nope.
I’ve kinda had my fill. I’ve hit the wall at the worst possible time. Although I spend far too much time on Twitter – a platform I can binge on while lying on my bed – I’m unable to make myself available for a book launch, Facebook live session or even virtual drinks via Zoom. I really want to support authors and others I know and love but I just can’t ‘go’ there at the moment.
I’m not even wanting to spend as much time AT my desk and blogging or engaging via social media.
I commented on my Facebook page the other day about being in a bad mood. I was tired of everyone’s feeds about home schooling, keeping-themselves-busy-projects and social isolation and the like (though for no particular reason). As I’ve said, my life mostly feels unchanged, however as almost everything revolves around the online world at the moment I don’t even feel as if I can have a digital detox.
It’s weird. I almost feel as if I’m rebelling. Perhaps things will feel different when my workload dies down again next week and I’m not on a lot of zoom meetings and the like. Perhaps then my head will not feel as it will explode with just one more fact, figure, piece of online information or stimulation requiring a thought process.
** Pic from Mommy Needs Vodka **
Have you moved other aspects of your life online? Or have you moved in the other direction as I have?
April 30, 2020
I get extra people’d out by video calls so they’re just for work meetings for me. I’ve literally had one video social call and that was enough. Plus I close my door and windows for calls and even though I put a fan on, it makes me yawn from slightly less air and people are probably sick of seeing that 🙂
April 30, 2020
I’m actually Facetiming my mum each day rather than just audio-calling now. Of course I don’t worry about how I look on those but there have been more video work meetings than usual. I’d been using Zoom for 6+mths daily so it wasn’t new but there have been more video calls!
April 30, 2020
I’ve been feelng very demotivated too, Debbie and I think thats twofold.
For a start, everyone suddenly wants “content” from me to fill the internet void while we’re all at home trying to entertain ourselves and I’m already late on a book with a new release this week dramatically piling on the workload/distractions and I feel like I’m being bombarded from every direction.
And then,to be honest, I’m pissed off. A lot of people are home now not working at all – whch is AWFUL, I’m not trying to lessen that – but they get to be home and do nothing. I,like you, are finding that my life pre quarantine and post quarantine are exactly the same except I have to keep on doing my job – writing and all the other associated stuff that comes with authoring – while veryone else is indulging in liesurely pursuits.Which makes me cranky and resentful and paradoxically waaay less productive.
Its a weird time, thats for sure.
April 30, 2020
I’m a little the same Amy. I’m feeling guilty I’m not spending time tidying and assessing my life or pursuing more writing opportunities etc… Of course I realise I do still have a lot of free time and I can’t seem to prioritise that stuff during that time.
It’ll be interesting to see what life’s like as we slowly come out of ‘lockdown’ (not that I’ve been / felt very locked-down).
I’ve been most guilty over the number of books launched virtually that I’ve not participated in even though I’ve really felt like I SHOULD or would LIKE to. I just don’t have the energy I guess. Normally I probably have ‘location’ as an excuse. They’re not accessible to me here in regional Qld and suddenly they are and I’m not making the most of them. Yet….
April 30, 2020
I think telling the truth is liberating and I reckon more need to admit to the whole “I am over this” ON-LINE means I am ON all the time.
I take my hat off to those working from home, helping their kids get on-line for school, and perhaps, having some kind of personal down time? I am glad you recognised it for what it is for you and took action.
I get Head and Neck cancer fatigue..not physical and not of mine..,.but of others and the “need to be there and share”. I am spending a lot less time in a particular FB group because I actually don’t get anything from it. I do give back a lot but I need to give to me more.
Staying well emotionally in this situation is about deciding what to ‘give to’ which won’t take a lot from me.
Good on you.
Denyse.
May 1, 2020
Yes, it’s easy to become too focussed on something. I think I mentioned to you that I’d set up an Instagram account when I had my weightloss surgery and used it for 6mths-1yr after but then ditched it as I didn’t want that to have become my life. It wasn’t who I was, just something that had happened.
I guess balance is all things is still an important goal!
April 30, 2020
I find the video chat stuff to be hard work – I’m more of a face to face/real life kind of gal. I just want the cafes to open again and the zones to be opened within WA so I can see my kids and grandies – trying to have a chat with a 3 year old online is nuts!! I’m also getting tired of being told what I can and can’t do by the govt – maybe there’s a bit of rebellious teenager in me still – staying home’s great when it’s my idea – not so great when it’s because our Premier tells me to!
May 1, 2020
I’m a bit the opposite – relieved that it’s not me being antisocial but someone else telling me I SHOULD be. Or in my case, I’m allowed to be.
I know what you mean about chatting to a child online though. I’ve had a couple of FB chats with my 8yr old godson this week and they’re mostly him using silly filters to entertain himself and me telling him he looks funny. 😉
April 30, 2020
I read an article about “Zoom fatigue” recently. I think at the beginning of the lockdowns, virtual meeting is a novelty then over time, the novelty wears off. It still has its values, just not to overdo it. I try to minimize my screen time by doing something else that doesn’t involve me looking at a screen (e.g. go for a walk, read a physical book).
May 1, 2020
Yes, I’ve always had virtual meetings in this job but a lot were just audio. I think now more people are working from home they’re more enthusiastic about video meetings so that’s increased a lot for me.
May 1, 2020
I must admit I’m enjoying it! Well, some aspects. I’m bummed I lost some great gigs and travel plans (with a very hefty cost) but apart from that life doesn’t feel too much different and I haven’t even discovered zoom. I am using the quieter time to do a catch up and tackled a couple of jobs I’ve been avoiding for years. I realise that comes from a privileged position as I haven’t had my income ripped out from me, nor do I have to work from work with small children underfoot, and haven’t been sick. Will be nice to get back to normal though – as long as this insidious virus doesn’t reactivate.
May 3, 2020
It’s hard to know what’s going to happen isn’t it? My hours did (and will again) decrease quite significantly over coming weeks with possibly only a few hours work a week. Luckily we have a safety net I can rely on. I wish I was better at motivating myself to pursue other projects in the interim….
May 3, 2020
It’s hard sometimes. Can you make a deal with yourself? Eg, I won’t xxx until I Yyy. Sometimes just starting is the hardest. Maybe write a list and try to get into it. This quieter time has helped me concentrate on some tasks I didn’t want to do.
May 4, 2020
Good idea. I’ve written a bit of a list on my study whiteboard… mostly ‘rooms to tidy and clean’ at the moment!
May 4, 2020
Dream big. Write it down.