I’ve talked before about a few of my recurring dreams. There’s the one in which I miss my bus or train (its meaning I suspect is kinda obvious… missing THE boat – derr!). And two oldies – the clichéd disintegrating / falling out teeth; and the (slightly weirder) one involving huge contact lenses that won’t fit in my eyes.
Like I said… the meaning of some are probably pretty obvious while others a bit more obscure or metaphorical. And although I’m a lover of logic I actually believe it makes sense that we dream about stuff worrying us in our waking lives; things we may not even be conscious are plaguing us.
Another dream I have less regularly, but I had not had for many many years, came up at a session I had with a therapist I was seeing last year. I’d had the dream the previous night, so it was playing on my mind. It’s not one that usually worries me; but does, however, intrigue me and – although I worry it reflects badly on me / makes me look needy (or more f*cked in the head than already obvious) – I wanted to share it to know if anyone else experiences the same thing.
I never remember the detail (so perhaps enter the dream part-way through as suggested in the movie Inception) but it usually culminates with me getting imprisoned or arrested. For something bad. Something I’ve done. Murder seems most likely. (Though I’ve got no one particular in mind 🙂 )
The weirdest thing about this dream though isn’t just that I’ve done something really really bad. Ironic because the ‘awake’ me is ridiculously law-abiding – mainly (I suspect) cos my fear of getting caught is greater than my fear of getting away with something…
Obviously in these dreams, the imprisonment / arrest or whatever are shocking. Devastating. However like I said…
The thing I most remember about these dreams is the sense of relief that comes with it.
It’s like… “I’ve finally hit rock-bottom, things can’t get worse.” Or “I can’t disappoint anyone else from here. This is as bad as it gets.”
There’s a strong sense of freedom or release. The fear of failure, of letting others down, of disappointing those around me disappears. Like I said, the relief is palpable.
I’ve thought about this a lot. (In many ways therapy is kinda wasted on me as I’ve analysed everything from every angle anyway.) I wonder if its meaning is as obvious as: I really do fear disappointing those around me and it’s a relief (and release) when it finally happens? Or is it more that there’s some latent evil desire lurking within and I just want to rebel. To let it out. Perhaps ‘the perfect rock bottom’ isn’t the point, perhaps it’s the murderous act I commit to get there.
Although I’ve done little of it lately, one of the things I like most about blogging is being able to share this crap and find that others COMPLETELY understand. The number of other people who have similar thoughts, hopes and fears is reassuring.
I must admit however, I’m yet to meet anyone else who has the giant contact lens dream!
Can anyone relate to this one? Any thoughts?
* Post named after the lyrics in Pink’s Beautiful Trauma song…
The Lovin’ Life team includes:
March 23, 2018
The contact lens dream is bizarre (and frightening!)
I have only one reoccurring bad dream (I call it the maths exam dream – I have to front up to an exam and realise I haven’t been to a single lecture all year. It fairly obviously means I feel out-of-control/ have too much on etc). But rather than obsessing over the specific meaning, I take having the dream as a sign that things in general are awry and I need to slow down.
March 25, 2018
I’d never had that kind of dream until a year or two ago – I’d be sitting a test and realise I wasn’t prepared. I think it’s good that dreams can be a trigger to remind us all is not well or things feel out of control etc…
March 23, 2018
I would love to be able to understand the meaning of my dreams. Last night I dreamt I was purchasing Cannabis from some random people and they were telling me it would help me relax! I think that tells me that I’ve been overwrought for the past few weeks and I need to settle down and relax! We certainly do dream some pretty weird stuff!!
March 25, 2018
Ah yes, I don’t always remember my dreams but it’s the recurring ones – that I have regularly – that I mainly pay attention to!
March 24, 2018
I love the thought of having the sense of relief you feel at the end of your dream. I’ve never felt that (that I can remember), but when I read the words I know the feeling. Weird. I hope I don’t get the dream though. Can you catch a dream? Anyways if I do get it I know where it came from lol. I have dreams that are feelings or sensations. One is the sickening all encompassing beating of a drum/clock/hearbeat. The feeling is of impending doom. I don’t get it very often (thank god) but have had it a few times since childhood. Most of my dreams involve missing trains or any form of transport, losing my phone/purse/travelling companions and then trying to find said lost items. One of those frustrating dreams that seem to take all night. Sometimes I get up to try and rid myself of the dream, but it awaits me when I return to sleep.
March 25, 2018
Ah yes, for me it’s usually missing trains and buses. I’m either running all over the city trying to find a bus stop that’s changed, or I’m racing to a train and just miss it or don’t have a ticket. Years ago I read it was the literal ‘missing the boat’ sensation. It didn’t seem weird to me as I was in my 40s, single and childless and thought it was probably kinda relevant.
I still have that one sometimes, but not as often. (Perhaps I’ve accepted it?!)
March 24, 2018
Ok, here’s my 2 cents worth – I reckon the being found out one is about imposter syndrome, but the contact lenses? Ummm maybe look beyond what’s in front of you? No flipping idea. My nightmares are always about swimming but not moving forward or driving on a bridge or raised road and not being able to see the road.
March 25, 2018
Oh that’s interesting about your dreams… something about (not) seeing the path before you / wanting or needing clarity I guess.
March 25, 2018
Sorry I can’t shed any light on your rock bottom or contact lens dreams Deb. I used to have a recurring dream of being able to fly/levitate at low altitude and nobody could see me hovering above them. It was a very cool dream 🙂 #TeamLovinLife
March 25, 2018
I love hearing about people’s dreams and pondering their real meaning, and yours are pretty interesting! My recurring dream used to be of a ginger haired man coming down a set of stairs and opening a latch door into the room I’m in. I would wake up in a sweat. Thank goodness it’s stopped!