My first loss… of a material possession

Monday, February 17, 2014 Permalink

This week Kerri’s topic is a bit of a mouthful… #MyFirst agonising loss of a material possession.

I’m sure as a youngster I lost things I treasured but I really can’t remember having lost anything major until I was about 23 years old.

For my 21st birthday I’d bought myself a bracelet. It was hugely extravagant and my parents were quite shocked as they never spent money frivolously. They did – however – contribute towards it as my 21st birthday present which gave it great sentimental value. As well as being pretty! šŸ˜‰

My 21st birthday. And yes, I was possibly drunk.

My 21st birthday. And yes, I was possibly drunk.

It was silver and chunky. I don’t ‘do’ delicate jewellery. Indeed I still remember trying to explain to a jewellery maker in Cambodia why HER thick gold necklaces weren’t quite what I was after. Incidentally I got some fabulous deals there, but that’s another story.

I loved my $550 bracelet and lived in it. It was hugely heavy however and IF the clasp came undone, the thin safety chain was of no use as the weight of the bracelet broke it easily. As it was I’d had to have the safety chain fixed a number of times.

I’d had the bracelet a couple of years when I moved to the far north of the state for work. It was still my most prized possession and it only came off a few times a week for my basketball and netball games and training sessions. Several months after my arrival however, I injured my ankle at basketball and was on crutches for a while. I can’t recall how long it took to heal, but lived alone so it was a struggle. I lived in a two-level apartment and recall hopping ‘up’ the stairs but having to slither down on my butt!

Anyhoo, around this time the safety chain on my bracelet broke. Being incapacitated meant I couldn’t get it fixed straight away… and next thing I knew, the bracelet itself was nowhere to be found.

bracelet 1

I was devastated when I realised and remained in denial for some time. But I just assumed I’d find it. SOMEWHERE.

It seemed impossible that it could have ‘disappeared’. I mentally tried to retrace my movements over the days before I noticed, but couldn’t pinpoint when I’d taken it off.Ā I could only assume it’d dropped off somewhere and someone else ‘claimed’ it or… who knows… perhaps it disappeared into some rubbish dump or something. I did phone the local police and council in case it was handed in, but it wasn’t.

The thing I remember most was how much I berated myself for its loss. I took it very personally(?!) and felt incredibly irresponsible and most definitely at fault. If it was anyone else I’d reassure them on that point, but… as we all know, we’re never as kind to ourselves.

I later lost a far more valuable bracelet (I’d had made in Cambodia which featured 15 or 16 green sapphires), but by then I’d learnt my lesson and it was insured so I could claim for ‘loss’ as well as theft. Of course it was hand-made for me and therefore irreplaceable, which was kinda sad.

Have you lost something of great value to you?Ā 
Do you berate yourself when something goes wrong which you ‘could’ have prevented?Ā 

12 Comments
  • Kerri Sackville
    February 17, 2014

    Ooh…. that stings, even reading about it. And I’m sorry you lost the sapphire one, too. I love sapphires!!!!!

    • Debbish
      February 17, 2014

      Kerri these were green sapphires and just stunning. It was still a bit intricate for me though, but I wore it every day (otherwise it would have been pointless to own it). I moved to East Timor a year or so after I bought it and took it off cos it’d be inappropriate to wear there. I should have left it behind but didn’t. And it ‘disappeared’. It, however, was insured!

  • Char
    February 17, 2014

    When I was about 17 I lost a chain and heart pendant which had been a gift from my Aunt when I was quite young. It wasn’t really anything special – it even had a tooth mark in it from when I’d tried to open it up thinking it was a locket – but it was my first grown-up piece of jewellery and I wore it all the time. I lost it while I was training for discus. It must have just flung off while I was doing a turn and I couldn’t find it anywhere in the grass. I like you, was devastated, but there was nothing I could do (short of hiring a metal detector). Learning to live with loss is just a part of growing up I guess.

    • Debbish
      February 17, 2014

      Yes… I think my guilt and regret had a lot to do with the cost as well as the sentimentality! I wonder if I would have been as upset if it’d been insured….

  • Lee-Anne
    February 17, 2014

    Can so relate to this Deb, as my first real material-possession loss was my bluebird bracelet. I received it for Christmas, then lost it at a Boxing Day picnic – despite combing the entire park for about 10 hours. My rather cross parents didn’t replace it and I spent my entire childhood hankering over one. (I’d even borrowed…err stolen my best friends 2 years before by swapping her for lollies šŸ™‚

    Your exquisite silver bracelet sounds as traumatic a loss to you as mine was. It’s just a good thing we grow into adults and can rise above possession loss (though my phone recently was a biggie to surmount). As Basil Fawlty, I think it was, said: “As long as you’ve got your health…” šŸ˜€

    • Debbish
      February 17, 2014

      Oh yes… very true, but sadly we can’t always be logical and grown-up. I think I’d still wallow in regret and guilt a little before moving on. At least I think I would. (Move on, that is!) šŸ˜‰

  • Gen
    February 17, 2014

    I lost my beautiful engagement ring. I thought it dropped in the couch nope. Id taken it off bad mistake. I looked everywhere its nowhere so i understand completely.

    • Debbish
      February 17, 2014

      Oh no! I remember when I was young(ish) and my mother lost her wedding ring. I was very #meh, just get another one (as it wasn’t hugely costly she said), but obviously I wasn’t considering the sentimentality of it!

  • Twitchy
    February 17, 2014

    Ooh, sorry about the bracelet… and *green sapphires* too, double blow. I didn’t even know sapphires could be green!

    • Debbish
      February 17, 2014

      I know… the bracelet was stunning. I had it made (along with a plain gold necklace) when visiting Cambodia (when I actually lived there I was a poor volunteer, but I later went back with the government when I was getting a travel allowance!) and had it valued when I got home and it was worth at least 4 times as much as I’d paid – plus it was handmade!

      PS. I should mention that we had very good advice re which jeweller to go (at the Russian markets!).

  • Neen
    February 18, 2014

    I haven’t lost anything of value but I know the sick, sick feeling you get in your stomach when you just THINK you’ve lost something important. I’ve been left with a beautiful diamond ring that my grandfather had made for my grandmother. My family would KILL me if I lost it. Any time I go to put it on and realise it’s not where I thought I left it, I feel my chest constrict and my stomach churn.

    I can understand your torment!

    • Debbish
      February 18, 2014

      Thanks Neen. Hope the ring never leaves your sight! What a lovely thing to have.

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