Captain’s log – Ear Infection Day 3
10.00am Wake up. Note state of sheets on mother’s guest bed reflect sleepless night. Recall being awake until after 3am. Wonder again how I manage to dislodge fitted sheets through tossing and turning.
Attempt to move. Discover ear infection no better. In fact it appears head may well explode as a result of movement. Ear hurting even more than yesterday. If possible.
Check time on phone. Again regret deleting social media from phone and iPad earlier in week. Find news instead. Take minute to mourn first-crush Dr Spock and make note to have drink on his behalf later in the day at a time more socially acceptable.
10.15am Leave comfort of bedroom and venture into bright dining from where mother is reading papers, having already been out to replenish antibiotic supply.
10.30am Make polite conversation. Drink Vanilla Diet Coke which has been replaced by tasteless black stuff. Reject idea of breakfast. Head hurts. Take Nurofen and antibiotics. Return to bed.
1.15pm Apparently. Wake. Starving. Assist mother in preparing large breakfast planned for 5hrs earlier. Eat.
1.45pm Arrival of mother’s lawn mower man makes return to bed unthinkable. Jointly decide to head to video shop to rent movie for the night. Develop secret plan to procure chocolate while at video store.
2.00pm Brush hair for first time in two days. Brush teeth for first time in a day. Don ‘outside’ clothes. Mother drives to video shop.
Which is bloody well no longer there. The one video library we joined has closed. Shit.
2.30pm Return home. More Nurofen. More antibiotics. Return to bed despite mower man.
5.30pm Diet champagne and salt & vinegar biscuits. I hate salt and vinegar anything but at least I can taste these.
Side note: despite many conversations my mother tends to forget I hate salt & vinegar flavoured stuff. And plain corn chips. But she keeps buying them. Obviously getting me confused with her other daughter called Deborah. She did the same with candy easter eggs when I was a kid.
7.00pm Leftover slow-cooked roast & mashed potato for dinner. All thoughtfully prepared by my mother – so I don’t need to open my mouth / chew. (Which hurts.) Also permits me to forgive her for salt & vinegar biscuits and candy egg debacle.
Raise glass of cabernet sauvignon to first-crush Spock and consume on his behalf.
8.00pm Antibiotics and painkillers. Though now resorting to ‘hard’ drugs (painkillers with codeine) because:
1. Sleep is a highly underrated way to pass time when in pain
2. I hope to magically awake to pain-free ear and head in manner of bear resurfacing after cold harsh winter
3. Why not?!
8.30pm Watch something on television featuring (far-too-young-for-me) handsome vicar before attempting early night.
12.00am Inexplicably get to sleep earlier than I have for six weeks. Yay for codeine!
Captain’s Log – Ear Infection Day 4
7.00am Rise for morning ablutions. Discover—on moving—ear infection and accompanying pain no better. Attempt to moan to mother but remember she’s at church. Take antibiotics and painkillers. And f*ck it, although it’s morning, go for the codeine.
7.30am Wallow and writhe in pain. Contemplate visit to emergency room. Instead rely on Dr Google. Consensus seems to be antibiotics only real treatment. Decapitation not recommended for pain relief. Unsurprisingly.
8.00am Feel unwell, possibly as a result of taking antibiotics on empty stomach. Discover hash browns in mother’s over-stocked freezer to accompany bacon & egg. Cook all in microwave to minimise unnecessary movement. Attempt to remember joys of crunchy (grilled) hash browns.
8.30am Remain awake long enough to greet mother post-church (& associated ferrying about of old ladies). Seek sympathy and hot pack. Confirm today’s return home unlikely. Brief mother on outcomes of extensive research into treatment options.
9.00am Return to bed. Toss and turn. Feel sorry for self. Decide no one EVER has been in as much pain as I most certainly am.
11.00am Surprised to discover two hours have passed though I’m sure I’ve not slept. Undoubtedly a time-space continuum trick. Or something. Mother at movies. Oh, I know… to entertain myself I’ll write a blog post…
Are you a better patient than I surely am?
March 1, 2015
I know I shouldn’t giggle at your ill health, but seriously? I can’t help it…
March 1, 2015
I figure taking the piss out of myself is medicinal or therapeutic. Or at least it helps pass the time as I writhe about in pain! 🙂
March 1, 2015
Surely the antibiotics should be working by now? I’d go back to the doctor for a review. They usually only take 24 hours don’t they? Loved the post btw 🙂 Sad for you though 🙁
March 1, 2015
Must confess that I didn’t actually go to the doctor and self-prescribed. I used to get a stack of ear infections when I flew a lot so just kept a supply if antibiotics on hand. This one is from putting my head under water!
March 1, 2015
I am so prone to ear infections. So I can relate, except my Mum wouldn’t help me like yours! Maybe next time I should show her this post, fyi mum this is what you should be aiming for! I hope you are feeling better soon! Xoxox
March 1, 2015
Indeed Jess. I was due to spend Sat night with my mother and go to a local event but called her Friday morning asking if I could come for sympathy and comfort earlier than planned. Of course she said yes (and put the roast lamb in the slow cooker)!
March 1, 2015
Oh Deb! Ear infections are so not fun. I really hope those antibiotics are kicking in now.
March 1, 2015
Not yet Jodi but I have big hopes for day 5!!!
March 2, 2015
I’ve never had an ear infection and after reading this I’d rather have to pass a kidney stone. I hope you’re feeling better really, really soon.
March 2, 2015
I’m off to the doctor’s today – providing I can get in. Desperate times, desperate measures etc….
March 2, 2015
I’m obviously sick in sympathy. Have actually called in sick from work. Awoke at 2am with sore throat, and tossed and turned for the duration. Pickle was full of beans at 6:20am, so I discovered I ached from head to toe. Managed to get him breakfast then headed back to bed, where I intend to spend the majority of the day. Whinge over. *hugs*
March 2, 2015
Sorry to hear. Glad it’s a daycare day and he’ll get to expend all of his energy before coming home and you’ll get to rest before then. Take care!
March 2, 2015
Let me know how the doc goes.
And for the record, I’m missing you on social media.
March 3, 2015
I’m missing me on social media. At home at least I had my desktop to still check FB and twitter. I’ve had to log on via the web on my iPad a few times to respond to things. I did think about reinstalling them while I’m away from home and wallowing….
You would have seen the update on FB by now. Went to my GP who was worried because my ear didn’t look normal. She said the front area – cartilage was really swollen as much as the ear itself and it was so swollen she couldn’t see inside. She was able to get me straight into an ENT surgeon in Bundaberg though, so we headed there. Apparently it was just your typical outer ear infection (so painful but usually treated with antibiotics) but… my ear swelled up and closed so the infection or whatever was trapped.
I note I was charged for ‘surgery’ but he just did it in the chair and managed to open the ear a little to get stuff out. He said it should improve quickly (ie. normally!!!!) now. And already today it’s less painful.
March 2, 2015
When heat packs fail … I highly recommend codeine and alcohol, consumed together, but you did not hear that from me HA *inserts disclaimer* I’m not responsible for any suggestions I make while under the influence of medication. Your mum definitely wins best parent award … my dad went all out for me … lump of 4×2, knackery, bullet?? It’s the thought that counts 😉
March 3, 2015
Yes, mum’s been great. She drove me to the doctor’s yesterday and waited for nearly 2hrs with me (GP running VERY late) and then was more than happy to jump in the car and drive me the 90mins+ each way to Bundaberg to see the specialist. I’m very fortunate.
I have to say the codeine – other than working the first time – did little for me. Alas. Perhaps I needed (more) alcohol!