This time next month it will be my birthday. Well, on this date. In December. And I’ll be 49. Quite frankly I don’t know how the fuck that happened cos it seems like I just turned 40 and was depressed about my forever-single and childless status. (On that note, do you think I should write to my 39 year old self and tell her things aren’t going to change any time soon? Just so she’s prepared?!)
I already know turning 50 isn’t going to be a blast. Sure I’ve talked recently – in a few blog posts – about the fact I’m happier than I’ve been in years, but the problem with the ageing thing is that you’re forced to take stock in some way. I know being ‘middle aged’ means I essentially might have 30, 40 or even 50 years of life left. So, I ‘can’ do some of those bucket-list things I’ve not yet done. However… it’s also a reminder of those things I’ve not achieved and may never be likely to. (A partner and kids in my case.)
Anyhoo, this isn’t meant to be a maudlin moment… rather I’m seeking feedback on whether I should set some goals for myself over the next year. Or create a bucket list / ‘things to do before I’m 50’ type challenge. And yes, I know it’s a cliché but all of the best people are doing it, including my school friend Nikki from Styling You and blogging buddy Jo from And Anyways (who’s working on smaller challenges but a big believer in bucket lists).
I’m wondering if it will (ahem) alleviate some of the pain associated with the milestone and perhaps give me the impetus I need to get some shit done.
Of course my creativity is limited so I’m thinking one thing a month (at the most!). And some would be fun and others not-so-much.
I’ve got a few in mind… :
1. Finish a book (or novella) and self-publish it
I cannot live my life and not bloody well write SOMETHING. I talk about this incessantly and do nothing. I know self-publishing is not for pussies and it can be a lengthy, complex and arduous process. So I’m thinking I could just set the bar low and attempt some dodgy novella under a pseudonym to get it out of my system.
2. Travel interstate to some writing / reading type event
I want to hang with other lovers of reading or writing. With like-minded people. Financially I’ve not been able to afford this since my seachange and although I still possibly can’t, it’s something I’d like to splurge on. There are a few options like the Sydney or Melbourne Writers’ Festivals; or even (don’t laugh) the Romance Readers Convention next February. (Note I’m suggesting this because there’s no multiple-day equivalent for suspense / crime fiction lovers!)
3. Get my hair and makeup done and get a photo-shoot done.
I know this sounds vain and wanky but I feel like I hit my potential peak in my late teens. It’s been downhill since as I’ve become fatter and wizened. At the same time.
I sweat too much to wear makeup and look at pictures of others dressed up and ‘out and about’ and realise that will NEVER be possible for me as my hair would be wet and sweat would be dribbling down my face! But having a picture taken in a cold airconditioned environment with my makeup done (to make me look like someone I’m not) would be a reminder I’m not completely beyond hope. They wouldn’t be *ahem* boudoir shots and I won’t be hanging them on my walls, but I’d have them. As a reminder. And yes… I am embarrassed to include this but I hope they might give me something to cling to every time I see others out and about with perfect makeup and non-sweaty hair. (And let’s not mention that comparison trap shall we?!) #beyondironic
And then I’m kinda stuck…. and looking for suggestions. And no, I will not be jumping out of a plane or skinny dipping.
Do you think the idea is TOO cliched? Any suggestions?
I’m linking up with Denyse Whelan for ‘Life this week’ and her prompt, Your Birthday! #obvs