A million times happier

Tuesday, May 3, 2016 Permalink

I caught up with a friend from my old life on the weekend. I’ve seen Mel once or twice since I made my seachange in late 2012, but also saw her just before I left Brisbane for Hervey Bay.

I was in the midst of massive changes at the time. I’d finished full time work and taken a redundancy. I put my place on the market and sold it. Bought a new place and was about to move. All within a month.

I was keen for the fresh start and excited, though nervous, about what came next.

Catching up with Mel again had me pondering on that time… also on my mind as my current place is on the market and I’m again dealing with Real Estate Agents and making big decisions.

A lot of people ask where I’m moving to – assuming I’m leaving town. After all… I guess, I’ve moved around a lot in the past.

“Not sure,” I tell them. “But I’m staying here.”

I have no desire to leave. No desire to return to my old life of long working days. Lengthy commutes. And the sense that life was all about work and little else.

I was pondering my ‘farewell’ catch-up with Mel and what’s changed. If I’d changed. And unbidden, the thought came to me. Of course I had. And, I realised… I was a million times happier.

While moving means I'll lose this stunning view, it'll still be there...

While moving means I’ll lose this stunning view, it’ll still be there…

That’s not to say I’m 100% happy now. I’m nowhere near as fit and healthy as I’d like and have very much let that part of my life go since moving.

But… as for everything else. Like I said… A million times happier.

And that was the only reminder I needed that life isn’t all bad. In fact it’s pretty good.

Do you ever ponder life decisions… wondering if they’ve been right for you?

Linking up with Essentially Jess for IBOT.

38 Comments
  • eatingasapathtoyoga
    May 3, 2016

    YAY. Keep that inner joy going.

    • Debbish
      May 3, 2016

      I will try. I’m such a misery-guts sometimes and it’s hard to remember the good stuff. In fact, so much so when the ‘million times happier’ thought occurred to me (in the bath on Thursday night) I wrote it down (on my book-reviewing post-it notes!).

  • charliegirlteachergirl
    May 3, 2016

    I ponder my life decisions quite frequently. I am so glad you feel a million times better than before, and I want exactly that. I don’t want to have to kill myself working more hours in a week than I am at home. I found out a major change in the yearbook program today and I am no happy. It is not what I signed on for, or the decisions that were made with me about how to truly make it work and function. I am questioning my decision to be the advisor next year. I am questioning my decision not to go down to elementary this year. I stupidly didn’t put in a transfer because it’s always been denied before. But I know now that where I am is not healthy for me anymore and I can’t keep doing it to myself and my body. I have decided next year will be my last year at my campus. For a long time I wondered if the end of my engagement was a breaking point for me. I wondered if going back home was the best thing for me, or if I had another choice given how much he put me in debt. I wonder what my life would be like without Baby, if we’d never gotten her or if he’d taken her. And you know? I feel a million times better about my outlook on life now. Funny how one person can have that affect.

    • Debbish
      May 3, 2016

      Oh yes… we reach those crossroads so many times. I’ve mentioned before that I really liked a podcast I heard about ‘intuitive living’ and ‘intuitive decision-making’. I’m crap at intuitive eating (!!!!) but find I’m good at going with my gut / instincts.

      I think we get to the point when we know something’s not working – when the cost of staying ‘in’ / there is more than the cost of leaving.

      I struggle sometimes with regret and have moments in my life I wish were different, but… I think about stuff that happened as a result and wonder if I’d have missed out on the good AS WELL AS the bad if I’d made different choices!

      It sounds like you’re resolved to make some changes which is wonderful!

  • Jo
    May 3, 2016

    Sometimes I don’t think we see that clearly until we can see it in hindsight….long may it continue

  • deb dane
    May 3, 2016

    Happier is a wonderful change. The seachange obviously was right for you xxx

  • Sarah @sarahdipity
    May 3, 2016

    This is so great Deb, glad to hear you are happier.

    • Debbish
      May 3, 2016

      I am very much so Sarah and I probably spend much of my time moaning so it’s probably important I talk about the positives more!

  • Vanessa
    May 3, 2016

    I have half of what you do – I love living by the beach but I still have the long commute. People ask me why I don’t move closer to the city – but frankly even living a significant distance closer I’ve had people tell me it can take them 45-60mins to get to work – so I’m going to keep me 1:15 or 1:30 commute AND live by the beach. Because it’s prettier!

    • Debbish
      May 3, 2016

      Yes Vanessa. When I lived in Brissy I lived in Hawthorne and Morningside (4-5km from the city) and it easily took 45mins to get to work each day – having the cross the river caused the problems!

  • Kathryn
    May 3, 2016

    Isn’t it great to look back and say yes the decision was really good, I went in the right direction. I made one about 15 years ago – my gosh where did those years go – bought the place where I am and like it. Although I think I have too much garden for someone who is not big time gardener! I guess are we ever perfectly happy? I think it ebbs and flows.

    • Debbish
      May 3, 2016

      The place I most like now (in terms of new options) has a REALLY large yard. In reality I don’t want or need a yard or garden but as I don’t want to live in an apartment it’s likely I’ll have something. I’ll have to outsource its care though, so need to budget for that!

  • hugzillablog
    May 3, 2016

    That is kick-ass!! We took a massive risk when we made our tree-change as well and it is the best thing we’ve ever done. I feel like we’ve found our place, and being away from the stress and chaos of the city has done wonders for my sense of wellbeing.

    • Debbish
      May 3, 2016

      Oh yes, I’m absolutely the same. That’s a great way of putting it!

  • Denyse Whelan
    May 3, 2016

    LOVE this post…and I hear you on the happier thoughts. I have been able to look back a bit to a year or so ago during my major life change and realise how much better I am feeling and thinking. One of the reasons I blog each day is that it is now proving to me the ‘evidence’ of improvement when my thinking might be taking me down another less positive path. Well-done you! Denyse

    • Debbish
      May 3, 2016

      Thanks Denyse. I probably need to focus some of my posts on more positive aspects of my life!

  • Cops and Novels
    May 3, 2016

    ‘A million times happier’ is HUGE. It’s awesome that you made that happen.

  • theplumbette
    May 3, 2016

    This has been a great post to read. I’m glad your happier. Here’s to more happy in your future. x

    • Debbish
      May 4, 2016

      Thanks Bec and yes… here’s hoping!

  • Tea Time with Marce
    May 3, 2016

    Hi Deb, I do think it is normal but I also think the pondering can take away our joy and inner peace. Keep moving forward and remember you are 100% happier and on this life journey ‘stuff’ happens and we only have 1 life so live it fully with happiness. It is great you got to catch up with an old friend.

  • nicolethebuilderswife
    May 4, 2016

    Only recently had this discussion with the Builder. We are all (kids included) so much happier since our own big move. Best, though toughest decision we’ve ever made!

    • Debbish
      May 4, 2016

      I guess it’s important to find the positives in something even if it hasn’t worked out as well as we hope, but glad yours (and mine) have!

  • Sammie @ The Annoyed Thyroid
    May 4, 2016

    I think hindsight is a wonderful thing and following your heart is a wonderful thing too. I’m so happy that you’re so happy. I love that life doesn’t have to be perfect to be wonderful, does it?!

    • Debbish
      May 4, 2016

      True Sammie. I usually focus too much on certain things – like bills, money and my weight Sammie… so it’s important to remember there’s more to life….

  • JFGibson Writer
    May 4, 2016

    So glad to read this Deb. Although you may not be 100% happy – and really is anyone ever 100% happy – being a million times happ-IER is amazing. Go you!

  • Alix @ thebuilderette
    May 4, 2016

    Great post. We are actually checking out a potential sea change location this weekend. I’m excited as we are both really sick of life in the city (for a number of reasons) at the moment. I’m more ready to jump than my husband but it will be interesting to see what this weekend brings up for us. I think we could be happier than we are at the moment.

    • Debbish
      May 4, 2016

      The timing was certainly right for me Alix – a few things had happened which made me question where my life was going, so… I jumped.

  • Janet Camilleri (@middleagedmama1)
    May 4, 2016

    So what made you decide to move this time Deb if you don’t mind me being nosy? I’m glad you are a million times happier now. I was made redundant in late 2012 too, and yes, much happier now 🙂 – better work life balance, flexibility, and didn’t realise just how boring and stagnant my job had become.

    • Debbish
      May 4, 2016

      I’m keen for a change again Janet. I’m staying in the bay though but will look for a house this time around. Also want a third bedroom so I have a guest room AND a study. My desk has been in my room for the last few years.

      And yes… so much happier since that redundancy. Fewer job opportunities than I expected here but at least I finally have something so that’s good!

  • Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit
    May 6, 2016

    Keep that feeling of joy with you Deb! The health and fitness will follow … when you’re ready for it.

  • youhadusathello
    May 8, 2016

    I made the change from city to the farm. Sometimes the country life is AMAZING and sometimes it’s a bit cabin fever!! Having said that I wouldn’t change it to go back. The city freaks me out. The houses are way to close for my liking. I nearly have kittens driving in the city. yep! I’m converted alright. Great to hear you’re happier x

    • Debbish
      May 8, 2016

      Hervey Bay isn’t too small – about 70,000 people in the town and surrounds – so amenity-wise it’s pretty good. Probably the biggest issue is the job situation… driving young people and professionals away.

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