I was attempting sleep last night (aka playing on my iPad and checking out Twitter and blogs posts) when I came across someone bemoaning the fact that ‘spirituality’ had become competitive.
I’d read something recently about meditation and relaxation techniques so knew exactly what the person was talking about.
I believe finding what’s right or works for you is one thing, but pitting some form of relaxation against another just doesn’t make sense.
However… it occurred to me that I sometimes view meditation or relaxation as something you can pass or fail. As if winning or losing is its sole purpose.
Source: pingminghealth.com
I’ve mentioned before that I’m a huge fan of Jennifer Polle and have several of her recordings. In fact I listen to one almost every night. When I first started listening to them a couple of moments in my two faves (Clearing Emotional Blocks and Intuitive Eating) used to bring me to tears every time. That’s no longer the case, but I now find I’m much better at tuning in and focusing on her words in certain places.
However, I sometimes worry I’m doing it ‘wrong’. Often my thoughts will float elsewhere, or I’ll struggle to get comfortable so I sigh and restart the recording… as if anything less than my full attention means I’ve failed or I won’t succeed. Of course I shake my head at these thoughts, realising that one session will not suddenly make me ‘better’. (And as someone in a private FB group recently reminded me… I am not broken!)
A while ago I wrote about my desire to meditate and wondered if it’s possible to do it ‘wrong’. And does it matter? I’m not religious but it’s a bit akin to wondering if you’re praying correctly. If there’s a god, do they really care?!
So, rather than chastise myself for not focussing fully on the recording or being fully in the moment I’m going to remind myself that relaxation and meditation are not competitive sports. The end result is obviously important (whether that be calmness or a shift in thinking) but it’s actually something we do for ourselves. Tying myself up in knots about right / wrong is kinda defeating the purpose.
Do you meditate or relax via assisted means (other than alcohol, of course! 😉 )
I’m IBOTing with Essentially Jess today.
March 18, 2014
As ridiculous as this may sound I’m actually too scared to try and meditate. My mind wonders so often when I try and concentrate on something that I just feel like I wouldn’t be able to do it and therefore it would just frustrate me and defeat it’s whole purpose!!
March 18, 2014
Yes, that certainly occurs to me, as I said in my blog. When I get anxious about whether I’m doing it ‘right’ or stop the recording and restart it (like I’ve been a recalcitrant child!) I have to remind myself that it doesn’t have to be perfect!
March 18, 2014
Umm I don’t understand the question – “other than alcohol” what else is there? Just kidding, I haven’t nailed meditation – but those who do reckon it rocks! Good luck with it!
March 18, 2014
I’m with you on the alcohol thing! But I’m the same re meditation. I am not sure I’ve got it right, but then I wonder if there is a ‘right and wrong’?
March 18, 2014
I couldn’t agree more that it’s not and shouldn’t be competitive. Like you I’d always wondered if I was meditating correctly as no one had ‘taught’ me. I’ve recently been doing The Meditation Project and it’s really helped to learn how to relax and calm the mind.
March 18, 2014
Sounds interesting Leanne. I’ll check it out!
March 18, 2014
I’ve tried the whole meditation thing, and like you, my mind wanders and I feel as though I’m not getting the benefit I should. I just can’t imagine myself walking through a field of grass, smelling the flowers or listening to the sound and feeling of waves crashing at my feet. Although, there is one anxiety app with this scottish man talking that is amazingly relaxing…there’s something about his voice that just works.
March 18, 2014
Eva, I did a meditation in a yoga class last year which confirmed that (cos I’m an auditory thinker) sounds work better than visualisations for me and I guess that’s part of working out what is best for us. I’m not very visual so trying picture things just don’t work for me!
March 18, 2014
I’ve tried, and I am *SURE* I do it wrong! I start thinking “Clear your mind, clear your mind, clear your mind” and then I think “If I”m thinking about my mind being clear it obviously is NOT clear because I’m still thinking about it!” and around and around I go! Hmmm…maybe this is something I need more practice with! -Aroha (for #teamIBOT)
March 18, 2014
Oh yes… it’s hard to ‘go with the flow’. My busy mind keeps overanalysing what I’m doing!
March 18, 2014
I love this post, and relate to all you have written. I’m absolutely going to check out Jennifer Polle. Thank you xx
March 18, 2014
I’m a huge fan of Jennifer. So calming. The Emotional Barriers one is my absolute fave! You can buy CDs but she can also send MP3s to download & save on postage.
March 18, 2014
I do meditate but oddly ONLY IN THE MORNING.
that said, Im sound asleep before my head hits the pillow these days
almost quite literally 🙂
March 19, 2014
Well, you are very busy and active during the day so guess that helps. I think I’ve read that you do a short meditation in the morning. I think I need to adopt something like that!
March 18, 2014
I don’t call what I’m doing meditation even though I guess it technically is. Sometimes I do formal exercises (like focusing on breathing) and on other times I just try to focus on what I’m doing at the moment – like washing my dishes. Which can be ridiculously difficult sometimes.
I’m still occasionally plagued by the idea that I’m doing something wrong when my mind starts to wonder but I try to defuse myself from the thought. As far as I know it’s part of mediation to bring yourself back to focus when you notice your mind has wondered away.
At one time I was pretty pissed off when I realized I had spent much of my ten minutes thinking about an unpleasant Finnish politician! 🙂
March 19, 2014
Oh dear… 🙂
I actually haven’t been ‘meditating’ lately – since I stopped doing yoga. I think Jennifer’s recordings are specifically ‘hypnosis’ but I see them as a form of relaxation as well. I need to be relaxed for the words to seep into my psyche.
I’ve done a few different types of meditation (though each only briefly) and I do like to think that it doesn’t matter what you do as it’s more about stilling the mind and being in the ‘now’. #orsomething
March 19, 2014
I’ve tried to meditate but only by myself – without a CD or DVD. It was an interesting experience. I kept telling myself to let my thoughts go – to empty my mind. And then I’d realise that my mind was not empty but full of thoughts about emptying. After a while I’d drift away a little then realise that I’d been working on some study issue (this was when I was back at uni) in my head. And then I’d give up.
March 19, 2014
Oh yes… I completely relate!
March 19, 2014
I meditate to Jon Kabat Zinn’s CDs….actually I just downloaded his app to my phone,
March 19, 2014
Oh, I’ve been looking for apps so will check it out.
March 19, 2014
We all have what is termed the “monkey mind”. It takes many, many years of practice to tame that damned thing! So, unless you are a monk, I think you should keep on keeping on. Let you mind stray and bring it back. From what I understand this is perfectly normal – obviously I have had the same issues as you 🙂
March 19, 2014
It seems to be common from everyone’s comments although I like the idea of short meditation sessions to help teach me to focus more!
March 19, 2014
I meditate, but not religiously (excuse the pun). I do a lot of yoga too. I find I have had quite profound meditation experiences and other times I struggle to get rid of the thoughts in my head. I so agree it is not something we should feel we pass or fail at. As my yoga teacher says (and I agree with this for meditation) – it is yoga practice, not yoga perfect. I have also been experimenting with doing kids meditation videos as my theory is our kids are soooo stimulated these days with TV, games and apps that they need visual stimulation to calm themselves too (the imaginary, lying down stuff is just too hard). I’ve also done up some one minute meditations on specific topics eg joy, fear. I think it is all about being mindful, whether an intense meditation or a minute or two of calm breathing exercise. Good luck.
March 19, 2014
Thanks Kathy. Love the variety you’ve adopted!