I spent the last few weeks struggling with a paid (ghost blog) post I had to write. I’m sure others can relate to the feeling – where something seemingly simple becomes hugely challenging. Of course the more I overanalysed it the more I fumbled around.
Those who follow me on Twitter would have read endless tweets over recent weeks about the post in question. Again, I have no idea why it was so problematic.
Although I also had a job application due last Friday it should all have been a breeze. Very doable. But it wasn’t.
I’ve submitted a few applications for low-level admin work around the area. In fact, I’ve put in quite a few and had no luck as yet. It becomes a bit demoralising after a while – particularly as many of the jobs are at significantly lower levels than I’ve ever previously worked in government. I joked in my other blog about ‘dumbing down’ my applications, but I don’t think it’s really that – just a mismatch of skills.
But, just when frustration threatens, something positive floats by. Just today I have a lovely call from the local manager of a government department who’d received an application I submitted. “You’d be working for people significantly less qualified than you are,” she told me. I reassured her that I was fine with that. As it happens the job in question isn’t an option for me, but she’s hoping something comes up in their office, she said, as she was impressed by my CV. It was nice to get a call like that… amidst so little success.
But, the application I submitted last week was kinda like the work I was doing in my former life. It would actually be a good fit – though it wasn’t what I thought I wanted.
I was hoping to move away from my previous government (project management / Executive Officer) work completely and do something mindless. I told someone today that it was nice not to have the monitor the media in case the shit hits the fan in my department/agency and I needed to be on top of it – requesting briefing materials and responses for the Minister/Chairman and so forth.
This job would be a bit more like that. But… perhaps I need the challenge. It would only be 2-3 days a week so is really perfect. But I won’t hold my breath as I’m tired of disappointment.
That’s not to say I’m feeling low. I’m just feeling tired. It occurs to me I spend all day, every day at my computer, only getting up to throw myself onto my bed, go for a walk or go to Zumba. Occasionally I’ll meet a friend. I guess that’s the challenge of working for oneself (or not working as the case may be)… it’s hard to remember that breaks are allowed.
I’ve had a weird ‘no TV during daytime’ rule since I finished work. That means, I DO NOT turn the TV on until evening. When I worked I used to often spend weekends inhaling TV series released on DVD. I miss that. I miss the ‘permitted’ downtime.
God, I cannot believe that I’m complaining about the lack of downtime when I don’t actually work and have endless spare hours in my day. It’s strange. It’s inexplicable.
So – I’m having a break. I’m about to spend 2 or 3 days offline. I’ll monitor my emails but I’m heading to my mother’s and not planning on taking my laptop with me. I’m hoping to spend two whole days watching DVDs and just hanging out without worrying how many hits or comments my blogs have received, or how many unread posts are accumulating in my Google Reader or what I need to share on Facebook or Twitter.
I know it’ll barely be noticed by the outside world, but hopefully it’ll be just what I need.
Do you detox from technology? Do you believe in a digital detox?