Why I am – or should be – loving life

Thursday, November 15, 2018 Permalink

I’ve not been sleeping well. Despite medication to help me do so. According to my Fitbit (not to mention glances at my watch on a regular basis) it’s taking me a couple of hours to get to sleep each night. (Which hasn’t been an issue since my pre-medication insomniac days!)

My mind is busy. I know that. Perhaps I’m worrying… though I’m not sure why. Life isn’t perfect, but it’s certainly not dire. As those I know and care about deal with crappy stuff, I’m ridiculously fortunate. And today I thought I’d remind myself of that. 

1. A roof over my head

I LOVE my house. I think everyone who follows me on social media knows that. I’m always sharing smug pictures of my views. Or my bed. Or sofa.

That’s not to say I don’t sometimes have house-envy or scroll wistfully through Instagram. And of course there are some outside bits of my house that need some attention.

And, I’m already planning my ‘next’ place. Which is (incidentally) a lot like this one. Modern. High ceilings. Lots of wall-height windows. But a small house on a small block. With a view. Perched on the edge of a cliff or hill so I’m not overlooked. A container house perhaps.

loving life

Whatevs… despite all of that: plans for improvement, plans for the future; I’m able to enjoy what I have now (and there’s probably some metaphor for life buried in there somewhere!).

2. My health

I do not take my health for granted. I know those who know of my eating habits may think I do. And well… I think I’ve been lucky. I don’t eat fruit. At all. I don’t eat many veges. I eat crap – brownies for breakfast, diet coke, chips and wine. I also do (however) pay attention to my protein intake and am increasingly trying to eat ‘real’ meals rather than the kinds of things an unsupervised toddler would consume.

I’m still wanting to increase my exercise but have – throughout my life – exercised in fits and starts. I’m fortunate that I played a lot of stuff growing up. Rep basketball and netball. I did some dancing. So I’m coordinated and understand the importance of stuff like technique and practice. Which I think stands you in good stead for life.

My dad had heart trouble throughout my life. None of it was his fault. He ate healthily. He exercised. He didn’t drink or smoke. He ultimately needed a heart transplant. And had cancer. And dementia. He lived until his 70s however so it could have been much much worse as his own mother died at 52.

So… I am grateful.

3. Money & resources

I currently have no job so no income. I have some savings and prepaid a heap of bills when working to prepare for my impending unemployment.

I also blew a shitload of money on my Italian holiday. And splurged a lot during my recent foray back into the full-time workforce.


My savings mean I can survive for a few months. At least. And… I’ve increasingly become resolved to my income-earning options. I mean, I have (weird) lines I won’t cross. I will not waitress or serve tea and coffee. And I will not do online sales or pyramid selling.

I pondered this morning though on the idea of fruit picking for example. Minimum wage or less and bloody hard on the body. But, I could do it for a while. I think. As long as there were no snakes and I could perhaps listen to music or podcasts while picking whatever it was I was picking.

And of course, the flipside of not working is something I yearned for during my recent year back in the full-time workforce. FREE TIME!!!!

Suffice to say… when I pondered on my problems with sleep I wasn’t sure that it was money or a potential dearth of it keeping me awake.

4. Friends & family

I tend to whinge about my lack of life partner and kids. Sure I’ve never been in love or had anyone in love with me, but my parents loved / love me and this I know. My brother and I were always their priorities. Above all else. I’m ‘blessed’ to still have my mum who puts up with my shit and still loves me.


And I have friends – here in my (not-so-new) hometown – and ones from my old life. I have school friends and our relationships have survived decades. And decades. (Well 4 or 5 decades!) And my two long-term besties are friends from my Uni days. My first flatmates. And despite knowing WAAAAY too much about each other’s bad habits they’re still in my life and seemingly care about me and what I’m up to.

And… there are my virtual friends (some I’ve met IRL) – some of whom are such kindred spirits that I’m creatively and mentally nourished by their words and thoughts.

5. Freedom

I was going to end this list at four and keep it very personal, but I’m conscious that I’m also lucky cos I live in a democratic society and pretty much get to say whatever the hell I want. Of course there are boundaries and there’s the age-old question… “Is it kind?” And, “Is it necessary?”

But, when many can’t express their thoughts or beliefs because of fears of reprisal, only having my own conscience to deal with is – in reality – a blessing.

Do you sometimes need to stop and remind yourself that so many of your ‘problems’ are #firstworldproblems, and that you are (indeed) most fortunate? What are you most grateful for? 

The Lovin’ Life team also includes:

  • Sydney Shop Girl
    November 15, 2018

    A thought provoking list, Deb. Much for me to reflect upon in my own life.

    SSG xxx

    • Debbish
      November 15, 2018

      It’s hard sometimes to get out of our own heads and look at our lives objectively!

  • Jo
    November 15, 2018

    I do the same – worry about money and other things when I should be reminding myself just how fabulously lucky I am. I’m most grateful for…you know? all of the above.

  • Min Write of the Middle
    November 15, 2018

    Those are five very good things to be grateful for! It’s so easy to get caught up in all our problems (many of our own making) so it’s good for all of us to stop and reflect on all the things we are incredibly lucky to have. It helps put things back in perspective and lessens the angst/stress. #TeamLovinLife

    • Debbish
      November 15, 2018

      Yes and it’s something I need to do more of!

  • Be Kind 2 You
    November 15, 2018

    I worry about money a lot and I’ve only recenly realised my negative attitude towards it. I am trying to change my belief (it takes time) that I love money and everythign about it.

    • Debbish
      November 15, 2018

      Ah yes… I was lying in bed last night thinking of what I could / would do IF I had more money and then having to stop and remind myself I didn’t ‘need’ any of those things, so by not working full time I wouldn’t get weekends away, be able to fix my deck or whatever… but I would have more freedom!

  • leannelc
    November 15, 2018

    I think it’s always good to pause and remember the good stuff that we have in our lives Deb. I think once you find another job, a lot of your mental churning will stop and you’ll be able to relax more. We always get caught up in the what ifs (ie: what if I don’t get another job, what if I get sick, what if I run out of money….) the what if’s rarely happen and they rob us of being able to appreciate what we have now. I hope you try to enjoy this time of respite before the busyness of life descends on you again in the not too distant future. xx

    • Debbish
      November 15, 2018

      Yes, I’m trying to remind myself that just 2mths ago I would have looked on someone like myself who wasn’t working (and not poverty stricken) with resentment. It’s a weird balance.

  • Denyse Whelan
    November 15, 2018

    A timely read for me too. I’m always saying “if we hadn’t given our kids’ deposits for houses, we would have a house again now” and words to that effect. However, I remember WHY we did that and it was to have a roof over the grandkids heads too. Unfortunately those ‘deposits’ of considerable amounts were lost even to the kids as both relationships/marriage folded. Sigh. Glad thought that our relationships with said kids is improving. Can’t put money on that. B and I realise how ‘well off’ we are when my cancer diagnosis, surgeries and treatments have cost a one off payment of 5K (negotiated from 10K) to the Prof and medicare and our health society has met all other costs: B estimates that to have been/be around $100K. So, I get the meanderings of the mind and I also think, as one over-thinker to another, that is what we do and probably need to work on strategies to under-think!!

    Best wishes for your decisions as you move forward.

    Denyse x

    • Debbish
      November 15, 2018

      Ah yes… I was interested in Sue’s post this week (a guest post from someone who sold their house to travel in their 50s) and reminded that I’ve got no one to leave anything to. (My niece will be well looked after by others!) And in reality I could just spend every cent I’ve ever earned before I retire (forever) from this mortal coil!

  • Kathy Marris
    November 15, 2018

    Mmm yes I’m truly grateful that I’m 61, healthy (although a little overweight), reasonably fit, have 2 wonderful kids, lovely friends, a part-time job I sometimes like ,and a comfortable lifestyle. You’re right there always is something to be grateful for and we need to remind ourselves constantly of this.

    • Debbish
      November 16, 2018

      It’s definitely something I need to do more of – remembering how grateful I should be!

  • Candi Randolph
    November 17, 2018

    Loved your post, and agree that we can get caught up in the small stuff, and really have so much to be grateful for. I just shamed myself this morning for some little silly thing that was bothering me, when my life is heaven compared to so many others.

    • Debbish
      November 18, 2018

      I know it’s a guilt I feel all of the time as I tend to play the ‘victim’ more than I should and focus on the negatives in my life instead of the positives! I guess it’s good we’re conscious of it though!

  • BoomingOn
    November 17, 2018

    You’re right, most of us (reading this) are amazingly fortunate in comparison with those in other places who lead extraordinarily difficult lives and we need to be grateful every day for all the wonderful things. I’m intrigued about your aversion to fruit, one of the great loves of my life. If I don’t have any for a couple of days, I’m craving it. Hope some good employment comes your way shortly, if you’re looking for it.

    • Debbish
      November 18, 2018

      I’ve never been a big fruit or vege eater, which is weird as my mother LOVES fruit and my dad ate a lot of veges. I’m better with vegetables now (I eat a few) but might eat an apple a year if forced! I do have a bit of orange juice diluted in water to drink but that’s only because – since my weight loss surgery 2yrs ago – I can’t drink plain water without getting bad reflux.

  • rebeccaolkowski
    November 20, 2018

    Sounds like you’re doing pretty well. You don’t have to have everything to be happy. The thought of living in a container house sounds intriguing. I may need to do that in the future.

    • Debbish
      November 21, 2018

      Ah yes… I like the idea of it being compact but open-plan AND being able to have a small house instead of an apartment!

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