I’ve not been sleeping well. Despite medication to help me do so. According to my Fitbit (not to mention glances at my watch on a regular basis) it’s taking me a couple of hours to get to sleep each night. (Which hasn’t been an issue since my pre-medication insomniac days!)
My mind is busy. I know that. Perhaps I’m worrying… though I’m not sure why. Life isn’t perfect, but it’s certainly not dire. As those I know and care about deal with crappy stuff, I’m ridiculously fortunate. And today I thought I’d remind myself of that.
1. A roof over my head
I LOVE my house. I think everyone who follows me on social media knows that. I’m always sharing smug pictures of my views. Or my bed. Or sofa.
That’s not to say I don’t sometimes have house-envy or scroll wistfully through Instagram. And of course there are some outside bits of my house that need some attention.
And, I’m already planning my ‘next’ place. Which is (incidentally) a lot like this one. Modern. High ceilings. Lots of wall-height windows. But a small house on a small block. With a view. Perched on the edge of a cliff or hill so I’m not overlooked. A container house perhaps.
Whatevs… despite all of that: plans for improvement, plans for the future; I’m able to enjoy what I have now (and there’s probably some metaphor for life buried in there somewhere!).
2. My health
I do not take my health for granted. I know those who know of my eating habits may think I do. And well… I think I’ve been lucky. I don’t eat fruit. At all. I don’t eat many veges. I eat crap – brownies for breakfast, diet coke, chips and wine. I also do (however) pay attention to my protein intake and am increasingly trying to eat ‘real’ meals rather than the kinds of things an unsupervised toddler would consume.
I’m still wanting to increase my exercise but have – throughout my life – exercised in fits and starts. I’m fortunate that I played a lot of stuff growing up. Rep basketball and netball. I did some dancing. So I’m coordinated and understand the importance of stuff like technique and practice. Which I think stands you in good stead for life.
My dad had heart trouble throughout my life. None of it was his fault. He ate healthily. He exercised. He didn’t drink or smoke. He ultimately needed a heart transplant. And had cancer. And dementia. He lived until his 70s however so it could have been much much worse as his own mother died at 52.
So… I am grateful.
3. Money & resources
I currently have no job so no income. I have some savings and prepaid a heap of bills when working to prepare for my impending unemployment.
I also blew a shitload of money on my Italian holiday. And splurged a lot during my recent foray back into the full-time workforce.
My savings mean I can survive for a few months. At least. And… I’ve increasingly become resolved to my income-earning options. I mean, I have (weird) lines I won’t cross. I will not waitress or serve tea and coffee. And I will not do online sales or pyramid selling.
I pondered this morning though on the idea of fruit picking for example. Minimum wage or less and bloody hard on the body. But, I could do it for a while. I think. As long as there were no snakes and I could perhaps listen to music or podcasts while picking whatever it was I was picking.
And of course, the flipside of not working is something I yearned for during my recent year back in the full-time workforce. FREE TIME!!!!
Suffice to say… when I pondered on my problems with sleep I wasn’t sure that it was money or a potential dearth of it keeping me awake.
4. Friends & family
I tend to whinge about my lack of life partner and kids. Sure I’ve never been in love or had anyone in love with me, but my parents loved / love me and this I know. My brother and I were always their priorities. Above all else. I’m ‘blessed’ to still have my mum who puts up with my shit and still loves me.
And I have friends – here in my (not-so-new) hometown – and ones from my old life. I have school friends and our relationships have survived decades. And decades. (Well 4 or 5 decades!) And my two long-term besties are friends from my Uni days. My first flatmates. And despite knowing WAAAAY too much about each other’s bad habits they’re still in my life and seemingly care about me and what I’m up to.
And… there are my virtual friends (some I’ve met IRL) – some of whom are such kindred spirits that I’m creatively and mentally nourished by their words and thoughts.
I was going to end this list at four and keep it very personal, but I’m conscious that I’m also lucky cos I live in a democratic society and pretty much get to say whatever the hell I want. Of course there are boundaries and there’s the age-old question… “Is it kind?” And, “Is it necessary?”
But, when many can’t express their thoughts or beliefs because of fears of reprisal, only having my own conscience to deal with is – in reality – a blessing.
Do you sometimes need to stop and remind yourself that so many of your ‘problems’ are #firstworldproblems, and that you are (indeed) most fortunate? What are you most grateful for?
The Lovin’ Life team also includes: