I’ve had two recurring dreams for much of the last two decades (about losing teeth and giant contact lenses). A third was added several years ago (missing the bus / occasionally the train). However I’ve been regularly having a variation on a dream which is becoming pesky in its stubbornness.
Essentially this dream is about my old life. More specifically – my old working life.
I’ve said it a myriad of times, but I DO NOT miss my old life at all. There are people I miss seeing, but I can still keep in contact. There are places I miss eating (but, well… #meh). I miss my favourite faux-Zumba class and being fitter and less-fat. But – I do not miss long working hours, ‘work’ as it once was, and my daily commute. AT. ALL.
I’ve mentioned before feeling physically ill when I was driving out of Brisbane and saw well-dressed people with briefcases at bus stops. Sure I may now be poor but I can drive a few minutes to work and wear rubber thongs. FOR GOD’S SAKE!!!!
However, this new dream is a little perplexing. I know there’s a message there and it’s possibly pretty obvious.
Generally (in the dream) I’m turning up to work (after an absence) and things aren’t ready for me. I’ve no desk or no stuff. Alternatively I can’t get into the building or my security pass doesn’t work. Almost always I’m back in (or trying to get into) a previous workplace but the players are different. I find myself having to explain who I am and trying to ensure my new colleagues KNOW I’ve done this before.
It’s not really worth googling as it seems to me it’s about a crisis of confidence. It’s two years since I accepted a redundancy and left public service-dom. It’s almost two years since I made my seachange – leaving inner city Brisbane for the Hervey Bay esplanade.
I’m not really sure there’s anything I can do to rid myself of this new dream. Perhaps it’s some subconscious fear that I’ve been out of the public service so long I’d never get back in – if that’s what I wanted. Perhaps it’s just that I feel I’m deskilling. Perhaps I feel I’m not achieving what I hoped in this new life. Or perhaps I feel undervalued. Who knows? I certainly don’t.
Any recurring dreams that you find particularly annoying.
Flogging my blog With Some Grace today.