I’m starting to think I’m in denial.
I’ve written recently about my upcoming school reunion (T minus 5 mths and counting for those playing along at home) and sudden barrage of Facebook invites from high school peeps.
I was probably too polite in my other posts to say anything at the time, but quite frankly some of those people I went to school with look bloody old. Like, middle aged. Or just like their parents!
Some have grown-kids. Grandkids. Faaarck!
I was only still trying to get pregnant with child no.1 three years ago!
Of course the friends I’ve seen often don’t seem old. It’s only those who I haven’t seen for 20 or 30 years which have me gobsmacked! (+)
Mostly I don’t feel that old. Indeed, I see myself as a late bloomer. I’ve possibly mentioned before that some of my colleagues at the time thought it hilarious that I announced I was finally ready to date… as I was in my mid 30s at the time. I blame the travel and transient life I led during my mid 20s – 30s for my delayed adulthood. Well, that plus the fact I spent my late teens and half of my 20s still pretty fucked-in-the-head(++) as a result of an eating disorder. (As that time is just a blur in my little mind!)
However, although I ‘kinda’ (now) feel like a grown up I’m a tad worried that I’m possibly *gulp* older than I realise and admit. I recently scoped out an online dating site and was flabbergasted at how old some of the men my age(ish) looked. DEFINITELY grown-up. And mostly middle-aged.
And I guess it’s obvious that what scared the bejesus out of me is that I’m not getting any younger either.
I think (like many) I’ve become immune to what I see when I look in the mirror… but if I’m honest I have to admit I do often see a puffy middle-aged woman staring back at me when I’m brushing my teeth or squeezing zits. (+++)
So while ‘apparently’ in human years I’m 46, I still feel (mentally) about 26. Perhaps if I can avoid mirrors completely I can continue to fool myself and believe (that ‘somehow’ I’m) nowhere near as old as my former schoolmates and contemporaries!
Do you embrace ageing?
+ I do realise they’re saying the same thing about me!
++ technical term 😉
+++ I avoid mirrors on all other occasions
I’m linking with the Laugh Linkup gang again today.
May 26, 2014
I’m hearing you on this. I guess the thing is that you feel as old as you feel. I don’t think age should define us—it actually feels quite arbitrary to tell the truth. Kx
May 26, 2014
I completely agree – mentally… not sure about physically though! Sometimes I feel every bit of my (supposedly) 46yrs! 🙂
May 26, 2014
Sometimes I’ll be watching the news and they’ll mention the age of the person that they’re showing and I’ll be horrified to realise that I’m older. But that’s only because I can’t possibly look as old as they do – surely?!!
May 26, 2014
I know!!! I do that all of the time. I see someone who I assume is MUCH older and discover they’re younger than me!
May 26, 2014
As someone who has always liked nights at home, reading and watching horse races, the 40s have finally made my interests legitimate. And there is no longer the pressure (or expectation) for me to go out or stay up late – joy.
That said, a couple of my school classmates have serious health issues already. So I try not to get happy about ageing too much!
May 26, 2014
Oh yes… I feel far more justified in watching the likes of Jonathon Creek on ABC now – though haven’t quite succumbed to the likes of New Tricks or Midsummer Murders! 😉
May 26, 2014
Oh, I have a twenty five year reunion on this year. I am not sure I want to go! I think looking around will make me think ‘OMG. We’re old!’ And it will hit home that, yes, I am old… I don’t tend to do the mirror thing either.
May 26, 2014
Yes… the reunion thing is a bit depressing!
May 26, 2014
I don’t do the age thing I just tell people I’m 18. Not especially hard as too often I’m shopping with DD1 and DD2 when people ask us if we’re sisters. They look very young so how old do these people think I am???
And the grey hairs? If they ever worry me I’ll just shave the whole lot off.
May 26, 2014
I actually tend to forget how old I am. When I was 45 I kept telling people I was 44 – assuming I actually was!
May 26, 2014
Nice! Can you get away with claiming maths is not your friend?
May 26, 2014
Perhaps. So that would make me like… 37 or so!
May 26, 2014
I’m with you Deb, I think chronological age is overrated. I’ve known twenty year olds who were ‘old’ as in conservatively minded – even students in the classroom, whereas there are so-called oldies out there with a really young attitude (and a great sense of style!) It’s all about your perception. 🙂
May 26, 2014
Oh yes… I used to compare myself to people who married in their 20s and had kids and even though I was in my 30s I felt like I was still ‘playing house’ compared to others!
May 26, 2014
I’m totally guilty of this and it’s not until I caught myself in the window of a shop when I’m out with the kids so I see myself as others do, nearing middle age, slightly overweight in quite bad clothes! But I still feel as young as a 20 year old, some days. I am very proud that you’ve committed to this reunion! Thanks for linking Deb 🙂
May 26, 2014
Hmmm…. not sure I’ve actually committed to the reunion as yet! 😉
May 26, 2014
I’m embracing the aging thing and am putting much thought and effort into becoming a dirty old lady. These days when clothes shopping I think to myself – will this make me look like mutton dressed as lamb? If the answer is yes then I buy it 😉
May 26, 2014
Love that approach! Though… I can’t see myself in leopard-print hot pants and stilettos! (Or whatever it is the youngsters are wearing nowadays!)
May 26, 2014
I talk a lot about my age, to be honest. It amazes me that I got here to the age of 46. While still being 14 on the inside.
It doesn’t bother me, just surprises me and makes me proud.
I know, I’m weird. xxx
May 26, 2014
Great attitude though!
May 26, 2014
I’ve been tossing up whether or not to go to my high school reunion in a few months time too. The Facebook barrage got me in the end. Keep us posted on what you decide to do!
May 26, 2014
Hmm… I will Renee!
May 26, 2014
I had the same experience of people from high school coming out of the wood work on FB and thinking Good lord, they look like old boilers. Then it hit me that this must mean I look like one too. I skipped the reunion as the FB catch up was enough for me, but hope yours goes well.
May 26, 2014
Thanks Ness. Am still undecided about mine, but glad it’s not only me who is surprised by others their age… (not to mention oneself!).
May 27, 2014
Oh I can so relate to this – and I’m sure some of my old high school peeps are thinking the same about me! Ah Facebook, the great equaliser!
May 27, 2014
True! I rarely show current pics of myself, though I have one going into tomorrow’s blog post. (I MUST be struggling for inspiration!) x
May 27, 2014
Oh, I’m so with you on this one. I don’t think it’s going to get any easier either. My mother in law (who is in her 60s) said the same thing to me a while ago: I don’t feel any different than I did when I was 18. Until I look in the mirror! Me, I think I’ll be avoiding high school reunions so I can stay in denial:-)
May 27, 2014
Ah yes, if I could live in a bubble it would be perfect. I wouldn’t envy anyone and would feel fabulous about myself!
PS. My mum (who’s just turned 70) says the same – she doesn’t feel her age!
May 27, 2014
There’s a serious bottle neck happening. I see housing advertised for the ‘over 55’s’, then realise that’s no longer on the never-never for me. Can someone please announce 70 is the new ’55’? Longevity has increased, and I don’t intend becoming incontinent any time soon. 🙂
May 28, 2014
I’m not even thinking about old age yet and am still panicking about being *gulp* middle aged. Cos I’m very very sure I’m not there yet!
May 31, 2014
Age should never, EVER define you. It’s awesome that you feel young Deb, I hope you don’t focus too much on your outer appear, but rather on your inner feelings. You are who you want to be, and if your mind tells you you’re 26, then awesome!
May 31, 2014
Hmmm… I’ve just been to yoga so I currently feel about 60! 😉