One morning last week I happened upon a Facebook post by Liz Gilbert. I scrolled on and didn’t read it at the time, but the opening phrase stuck with me so I later went back to check on it.
As usual her thoughts are down-to-earth. She’s not really offering anything astoundingly insightful. No lightbulb moments or answers that will have us all feeling better about our lives or 2020.
In fact the phrase….
Do something different till better comes along
could be seen as a bit of a cop-out. Like the notion of merely biding our time.
But it’s not. It reminds me of one of Mark Manson’s mantras…. the “do SOMETHING principle”.
This has worked for me in the past. I might not be in the mood to write a book review, or exercise*. But I convince myself I’ll give it five or ten minutes. And next thing time has passed and I’m too invested to give up.
Here Gilbert is saying exactly that. If you’re stuck or hamstrung in some way; then try something else.
So it’s less akin to a holding pattern and more in line with: What you’ve done in the past hasn’t worked. Do. Something. Different.
I’ve talked in the past about not being good at knowing (or articulating) what I want, but knowing what I don’t want.
The big life decisions I’ve been making in recent years have certainly been evidence of that. It hasn’t always been easy. And the result hasn’t always been without issues. And while there are some things I wish I’d done differently they aren’t the things I regret. In fact, regret is diminishing as I move further and further from the path I envisaged for myself.
A lot of people suggest the ability to eschew the norm (worry less about what others think and be willing to take more risks) is something that grows with age. I was reminded during a sleepless night last night (though) of decisions I made when young (in my 20s), including that to go and volunteer overseas despite never having travelled out of the country (or even the State) before.
So I’ve been pondering if I have become more comfortable with uncertainty, risk or change as I age. I still worry about finances and all of the usual stuff, but—though I still wrap myself in self doubt—I’ve also been feeling an increased sense of freedom. A willingness to do something different. Unlike Elizabeth Gilbert though I’m not necessarily expecting something better to come along. Different is enough.
Do you relate to the “do something different” principle to get yourself out of a rut?
* Actually it’s a long time since I’ve done the exercise thing, but recall it used to work!
Image: Javier Allegue Barros via Unsplash
July 22, 2020
I love the idea of just “do something different”! It’s so easy to get stuck into habits and perhaps even unhealthy behaviours that become our blind spots. Sometimes just doing something differently not only helps us get unstuck but can also often help our own self-awareness. Thank you for the motivation 🙂
July 23, 2020
You’re welcome Anne. It seems obvious in some ways – trying something we haven’t tried before when everything else isn’t working but it’s almost like thinking about doing the opposite for me.
July 23, 2020
I haven’t really thought about doing something different. Like you, I will give my task 5-10 minutes and that’s often enough to get me going again. Love your sentence “ regret is diminishing as I move further and further from the path I envisaged for myself.’ I think as we get older we look at the path we are walking through such different eyes and what we thought mattered has become trivial.
July 23, 2020
Yes Helen, I wondered if it’s that we gain more perspective or things blur into the background more as we amass more and more experiences?
July 23, 2020
I like this idea. Do something different- it might just get you unstuck. All during Covid quarantine I was struggling with my office. I wasn’t functional. I didn’t like the way it worked. I had furniture I like, but it felt too masculine and it didn’t feel like me. I can’t tell you how many times I rearranged some little thing. Move the lamp here, corner the desk there. It was my own way of doing something different. It took a lot of little moves, rehanging pictures, adding a plant, rearranging book shelves. Each little thing led me to something a little bit better. Finally I ordered new curtains, then a new rug. It has all come together. I wouldn’t have wanted to spend the money on the new things until I knew the rest would fall into place. Now I love it. Good advice Liz Gilbert!
July 23, 2020
This post initially was about my decision to study and some of the changes I was making but morphed into something a bit more generic but I completely agree… also that once you start making some changes it’s easier to make others.
July 23, 2020
Hi Deb I use this when I don’t feel like exercising. Doing something different and telling myself to just do 10 minutes is usually enough to get me out of the rut I’m in.
July 23, 2020
I used to be the same with exercise, which is why I put the asterisk there Jennifer. In the past I’d hired a treadmill or exercise bike and used to force myself on there for 5mins, knowing once I was on I’d never admit defeat and I’d stay on for 20-30mins as planned.
July 23, 2020
This really resonates with me…especially at the moment.
July 23, 2020
At the moment – it may not last – Uni has been a big game-changer for me!
July 23, 2020
I can imagine!
July 23, 2020
I do something different to keep things fresh for me so I don’t get into a rut. Just to think about that new ‘something’ forces me to be creative. #lovin’lifelinky
July 24, 2020
You certainly seem like a motivated person Natalie and trying new things. I very much admire that.
July 23, 2020
Interesting idea Deb – I’m kind of at the other end of the spectrum where my world is fairly calm (I’m not saying stagnant – but some might!) but I’m happy with that. I’m making myself push thru reluctance by just starting what I’m putting off and getting it done – a lot of the time I don’t want to walk or do a chore, but I tell myself it will all be done in an hour (or less) and Future Me will be glad Past Me did it – and that seems to be the case (mostly). Hopefully your Try Something Different will lead you on new adventures – another trip to Italy???
July 24, 2020
Oh yes, I wish I could always remember how happy future me would be with past me when it comes to getting myself motivated to do things.
I’d definitely love to travel again, but financially it’s not on my radar unless I sell up or can access my superannuation in a decade or so…
July 23, 2020
I can relate very much. I know what I don’t want but I don’t know what I do want. It’s been this way for about 8 years now … so I too don’t think something ‘better’ necessarily is going to come along but I am happy to keep trying ‘different’ things. xo
July 24, 2020
Yes Min, for a long time I assumed something ‘better’ would come. I’d meet the man of my dreams, fall in love, have a family. Find work I adored. Feel financially secure. Travel. Be happy. And yet…. I think I just need to fast forward to that last part.
July 23, 2020
Very interesting Deb, sometimes it’s enough to get us moving again which is what we need. Glad to hear you are feeling the freedom. #mlstl
July 24, 2020
Yes, getting out of that rut is definitely the first step!
July 23, 2020
Trying new things….doing something different…it’s what I love to do. I’ve found so many interesting things to do by being curious and wanting to learn more, or know more, or just get out there and confront some fears.
July 24, 2020
I think I’m just starting to get to that point now Jennifer!