As you’re already well aware of my genius, it will not surprise you to know that I have YET ANOTHER amazing idea for a smartphone app.

Yes, the creativity is just flowing out of every pore, along with my onion-stenched sweat. (And don’t you love THAT visual?!)

There I was minding my own business yesterday – translation: I was mentally interviewing myself as if famous and interviewee-me was asked about my secret crush.

“Oh, Richard Armitage!” famous-me gushed. Which is true cos I seriously don’t get the whole Ryan Gosling thing quite frankly.

Anyhoo, when asked about my Richard fetish I commented on his sexy good looks and his bloody amazingly sexy voice.

“He can read me bedtime stories anytime,” famous-me told the interviewer (ironically, also me!).

And then it struck me. What a brilliant idea! Who the hell needs meditation chimes or the sounds of whales mating or frogs croaking?!

A podcast (sans video cos that would be just distracting!) of Richard (or actor / actress / crush of one’s choice) reading a bedtime story. Or just talking… what a perfect way to drift off into the land of nod.

Of course, the more risque amongst you might want to take the creation one step further.

Instead of choosing “Richard doing the Three Little Pigs” or “Denzel Washington doing Pride and Prejudice”; there could be a “Richard the Pizza delivery boy” scenario, or “Denzel the pool guy” kinda thing. Like those phone sex lines you see advertised on TV but… you know, more tasteful.

Hmmm…. tonight I want to play, “We’re on our way home from a fancy ball and have sex in the back of a limo!” you might decide while lying in bed in your old faded flannelette pyjamas.

I’m not sure how one’s wife, husband or partner (attempting sleep beside you) would feel about Richard’s voice telling you just what he would like to do to you (etcetera), but it could be a whole new revenue-earning stream for burned-out actors AND the fantasies for we consumers could be endless.

Better still, we’d all be eager to hit the sack each night and wake up with a smile on our face the following morning. It’s a win-win!

Am I (or am I not?!) a genius? (Rhetorical question, of course!)
Who would you choose to read your bedtime story?