I often ask for advice. Indeed, I’m more than happy to admit my inadequacies or insufficiencies and ask to be pointed in the right direction. I mean, I’m not good at actually asking for help, or for someone to DO something for me, but advice, yes… no worries.
And it’s something I’ve done often here.
However it occurred to me recently (and I know my brother gets annoyed at me about this very issue) that I don’t always heed the advice I receive.
I’ve pondered upon this today: I often ask for ideas about tradesmen to use, furniture to buy or help in comprehending my antipathy towards dating. And so forth.
And then I either procrastinate and do nothing about it. Or I make up my own mind anyway.
After the aforementioned pondering I’ve realised this isn’t because I disregard the advice of others and hate you all. Well, not really. It’s more that I’m actually good at knowing what I don’t want but not great at knowing what I do want; or not good at admitting it.
(And incidentally, I’ve actually said as much on my online dating profile.)
I talked about this ages ago when I was reading Dominique Bertolucci’s The Happiness Code. One of her recommendations for those stuck with knowing what they DO want is to work out what they DON’T want. And I’ve only just realised it’s something I do all of the time.
Most recently it’s come up re travel plans and home decorating. I’ve asked friends for info or their opinions. And I’ve gone ahead and done something (else) anyway.
Initially I worried that I stored too much faith in my own taste or decision-making ability (the latter being a worry, quite frankly!). Or that I’m so incessantly independent I can’t bear for others to play a role in making decisions about my life.
Errr, well… actually that could partly be it!
But I think it’s also that I hear suggestions from others and my intuitive decision making ability (ie. gut instinct) kicks in. What others say either resonates or doesn’t. If the advice isn’t consistent with my gut instinct I’ll usually hold off, unless I was just really seeking reassurance and will do whatever the fuck I want anyway.
This is all a very long-winded way of saying…. if I ever ask for advice and ignore it (which this Meme says makes me an ASKHOLE), just know, it’s not you. It’s me.
Are you an advice-seeker? Do you listen to others; or are you a heart / head gal like me?
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