Lydia (Where The Wild Things Are) commented on the TV show 63 Up (UK version of the 7-Up series) recently and coincidentally I’d watched it as well.
She suggested the ‘check-in’ every 7 years seemed to ensure those involved analysed (albeit not in a scientific way) their life more than most of us as they had to dissect it (again, not in a scientific way) for their interviews.
As I thought about this I realised that I’m wont to moan about little stuff. *coughs at the understatement*
I overanalyse (in a very scientific way, #not) all kinds of shit but I don’t sit back and look at the big picture. You’ll have gathered from recent blog posts that my mood and emotions have been a bit all over the place. I must confess if I read back over ten years of this blog I’ll probably see it’s always been the case, but it’s been exacerbated by current crap like my lack of employment, finances, ageing (or at least feeling old and past-it), feeling directionless and lacking purpose and uncertainty about my future. Oh and I’ve been eating badly and not exercising as much as I should. Not to mention the whole MENOPAUSE thing.
So… in any one day I could be euphoric and hopeful. (Okay, that’s not true. I’m never euphoric or hopeful!) But I could be vaguely positive and feeling a glimmer of hope; then I’m maudlin and pondering the whole point of life with nothing to look forward to; then I’m excited about something; then scared shitless and doubting myself. Indeed, I’m pretty sure an email I sent my mother yesterday covered all of those emotions in the three minutes it took me to write it.
HOWEVER… it magnifies the fact that our emotions or moods can be transient.*
I say this all of the time, but I realise I need to step out of my head and my anxiety and feel some gratitude. Or at least take a more measured look at my life.
It would actually be timely (for example) for me to consider the past seven years, as it was September 2012 when I took a redundancy from government and left the life I thought I’d be living forever… to make my seachange.
It occurred to me that a ‘summary’ of my past seven years would be most certainly positive. Though I may have minor regrets I have none about that decision and most of what’s come since.
So I’m (yet again) reminded I need to look at the big picture, rather than get bogged down in day to day miniature of life… and I guess that’s something most of us experience.
Am I right? Would a summary of the last seven years of your life look very different to a snapshot on any one day?
Linking up with the Lovin’ Life gang.
July 11, 2019
The most hilarious part for me is I only really remember the last week – Iād probably need prompts to remind me of the last 7 years! Ha!!
July 11, 2019
I think that would probably be a good thing. You’d be conscious that you didn’t want to just talk about how you were now so forced to consider how things have been for a while!!! (I know when I saw a therapist I hated that we’d somehow get bogged down on some minute thing happening that was annoying me and get sidetracked from some bigger issue. I was always conscious not to go in there obsessed about some new thing that was happening and would be really transient. I guess that’s a reminder that those things often are short-lived!) #Inothernews: I could just be my own therapist. When I write about stuff it usually becomes clear! š
July 11, 2019
I’m listening to Desert Island Dishes on my lunchtime walks at the moment. It’s a set of iterviews with top chefs etc. Anyways Marcus Waring was saying how when he first came to London from up north he hated it and dwelled so much on the hating of it and now he loves it. It was, he said, not London that had changed in the intervening years but rather his attitude to it and his perspective – and I think that’s what you’re getting at hear. The big picture is more positive than the faults we can dwell on in, for want of a better term, miniature.
July 11, 2019
Yes, it wasn’t until Lydia commented on the show that I pondered myself on ‘how’ exactly you’d recap the last 7yrs of your life (and of course they’ve been doing it every 7 years, so …. *counts fingers* eight times!) and because I’m so anal about being as honest / truthful as possible I’d have to be fair and not let myself wallow. Of course nor would I offer up a highlights reel cos that’s SOOOO not me.
July 11, 2019
Big picture thinking is definitely the way to let go of the smaller niggles Deb. I think we all get caught up in the “poor me” parts of life – especially when comparing it to the highlight reels on FB & IG. I’ve been second guessing this whole not-working thing myself, but coming to realize that agonizing over it all changes nothing, so I’m really working hard on enjoying the peace and late mornings etc and finding contentment instead of wishing it away. Life goes on despite us and I think it’s our job to find the joys and to try not to let the turkeys get us down. x
July 11, 2019
I know. Here I have all of this time on my hands and I’m bogged down in the ‘how will I pay my mortgage?’ kinda stuff or panic about what sort of job I should be looking for / willing to settle for / what I will pursue. In reality I’m kinda just relying on whatever pops up. I’ve applied for SOOOO many short-term / temp Brisbane jobs out of desperation in the last two weeks it’s ridiculous. And demoralising.
July 11, 2019
I watched all the 7 Up series too. I hope they do another one – 70 Up ….. but if they do I think that would be the last. The guy that interviews them is already 78 now. I think your past 7 years is mostly positive too! You made your sea change and you’ve travelled to Italy and you’ve been working and have a lovely new home and so on. My last 7 years I’m not so sure I have achieved much. Good luck with the job hunting Deb. I know it must really get you down and be such a worry, and it would be really hard combined with all the menopause crap and so on as well. When it all feels a bit crappy – make a cuppa and go look at your lovely view! š #TeamLovinLife
July 11, 2019
Yes, that is a lovely view and my house is lovely. I do wonder though (of course) if I should consider downgrading to free up $ so I don’t actually have to worry about work. I just worry I’d regret (and resent) it. I figure I’ll hold off for a while.
And yes re the menopause thing… Errrrr…
July 11, 2019
I just had to go back into facebook memories to even try to remember where I was at 7 years ago. I’ve certainly had a lot of ups and downs in that time. Didn’t so much like the years I had to get my food from food banks. But have also had some good and terrible work experiences in the that time.
July 11, 2019
Think about how far you’ve come then in that time Vanessa! I try to remind myself that the harder times (these periods of unemployment) make the easier times (when I’m working and comfortably off) more important as I appreciate them more. I certainly found that after having the long gap last time.
July 11, 2019
I thought about this very issue recently because I also watched 63 Up AND I read What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty – it made me think what would happen if the last ten years of my life were suddenly erased from my memory. At first I thought that not much had changed in that time but after closer attention I thought about what I had done in that time.
July 12, 2019
God yes. Sometimes the idea of ‘starting afresh’ can be appealing as you think you could dump the baggage but I wonder how much of it would have happened anyway or will happen again (given you can’t remember to learn from the past!)
July 12, 2019
I think it’s helpful to take the ‘long’ lens now and then to keep things in perspective. Good luck with your job hunting, Deb. I hope something turns up soon to ease your worry. #lovin’lifelinky
July 13, 2019
Thanks Natalie!
July 14, 2019
Totally get this! It occurred to me last week that I’m getting very bogged down in day to day tasks and not really looking after myself like I should be. I’ve made a concerted effort to reduce my time on Instagram (lol) since then and have caught up on sleep and spent way more time relaxing with my family. I think I’ve finally had a breakthrough!
Di from Max The Unicorn
July 14, 2019
OMG look at the avatar thingy it gave me! lololol
July 15, 2019
How weird. Normally it assigns weird robot shapes!
July 15, 2019
I can’t work out how to keep reminding myself of the bigger picture. Wanky quotes plastered on my walls? Tattoo on my wrist?! Indoctrinated while I sleep?!