We’ve had a bit of a cold snap lately here in my hometown. It’s supposed to be autumn but the mornings have been quite frosty. I love winter. In fact I love love lurve winter. Flannelette pyjamas and flannelette sheets are two of my favourite things.
I remember the first time I went to live in a colder climate (in the south of the country), which was also the first place I lived with an air conditioner. Even though I arrived in early autumn I turned the air conditioner on so I could rug up in baggy comfortable tracksuits in front of the icy airflow. I suspect the ability to cloak oneself in large bulky loose clothing is just one of the reasons I love winter. Another – of course – is that as a bigger person I get hot and sweaty easily and feel very self-conscious about it. I mean, it’s one thing if you have been exercising… to be red-faced and dripping, but a whole other thing when you’ve just walked 10mins to the train station. Just a month or so ago I had to surreptitiously duck into the toilets at the train station daily to wipe my face and hair with scratchy toilet paper so as not to drip on the already-disgustingly-dirty train seats.
So… I should be excited about this frosty weather, shouldn’t I? Well, I’m not. Why? Because I bloody well have nothing to wear. I spent much of last winter on long service leave, so only had to find warm clothes for a few weeks of work. I’ve gained weight since then; and I’ve gained even more from the year before when (after fat camp) I was able to fit into a heap of Nicola Waite jackets I’d bought on eBay. They’re still hanging in my closet, these jackets. Staring at me and taunting me each time I walk in there.
My walk-in wardrobe is filled to the brim with too-small clothes and boxes of even smaller clothes; as I wear the same 2-3 pairs of pants and half a dozen shirts week in and week out. I almost wanted to stay at home today; such was the depression that engulfed me as I stood forlornly looking at my winter woollen clothing options. I decided, as I encased myself in a skivvy underneath another shirt, that I would have to ‘bite the bullet’ and buy a large jacket that fits me now, just to get me through my winter work days.
But then, a glimmer of hope, as I realised that perhaps even 10kg could get me back into one or two of my jackets and a winter shirt or two. If I can get motivated then SURELY I can drop some weight and get into some old clothes before winter disappears completely. I just need to get started….