A couple of weeks ago I came across a blog post I couldn’t read. Of course there are those times the post is completely irrelevant, but this was a case of… “I need to be in the right headspace to read this!”
The post in the Green Mountain at Fox Run blog, A Weight Lifted, was about eating at night.
I happily read through part of it until I came to something so ridiculously relevant that I had to stop.
Obviously I eventually returned to it, but whereas I usually comment on stuff straight away, I just tagged it, deciding to later return to share my thoughts.
Which I haven’t done and possibly why it needs its own (lengthy) blog post.
I never really think of my binge-eating and over-eating behaviour as being ‘nighttime’ things.
I’ve mentioned previously however, there was always a bit of ‘ceremony’ around my binges and they (almost) ALWAYS took place in front of television.
On rare occasions I inhaled a block of chocolate at my computer or feasted on easter eggs in the bath, but mostly my binges involved an array of food at my disposal as I sat on the sofa, with something decent on television (note, that last part was also important!).
As I worked full-time, it was more-often evening, although I did my fair share of indulging during the day on weekends while I binge-watched entire television series.
The previous posts I’ve referenced talk about the nexus between my television viewing and binge-eating behaviour… so I’ve long-known it to be a problem, however I’ve rarely seen / heard it put so eloquently.
The GMFR blog gives some examples of night time eating:
- snacking from the moment you get home to the moment you go to bed
- waking in the middle of the night and eating to help you fall back asleep
- having one huge meal at the end of the day
- being unable to watch TV without a food companion.
The last one being associated with my binge-eating, while the huge dinner (as opposed to other meals) continues to be an issue for me now.
Author Robyn also offers five reasons we may be (over) eating at night, two of which are standouts for me. Firstly there’s the ‘we’re doing it to mask, boredom, anger, depression etc’ motivation – which is common for bingeing or over-eating at any time and can usually be resolved by getting to the root of the feeling or distracting ourselves. However… then there’s this:
“You aren’t having enough fun and food is what you look forward to most in the day.”
Oh. My. Fucking. God. Yes!
I almost cried that someone finally articulated one of my biggest problems.
I’ve talked about this before and have been embarrassed to admit it. I thought it was just me.
I thought it was a symptom of being single, childless and lacking intimacy and focussing too much on work. I thought it was cos I had no life.
All day I looked forward to my evenings: me, wine, a yummy dinner and something fabulous on TV.
Better still, me, wine, heaps of junk food and something fabulous on TV.
It’s the ‘ceremony’ to which I often refer and the reason I’d need 4 x 250g blocks of chocolate and 2 x 200g corn chips rather than just one of each. It’s the reason I still cannot buy a packet of biscuits or flavoured rice crackers or even a bag of sugar (which could be mixed with flour, egg and milk for batter!). The over-eating or binge-eating was everything. Maybe still is.
A previous post by Marsha Hudnall further explores the issue and refers to the fact that many of us switch from sweet to salty and back again – paying little attention to what we’re eating or tasting or how full we’re feeling.
Yes. Yes. Yes!
She continues:
Is eating at night your favorite way to relax and wind down? Is it the highlight of your day or your primary source of joy/entertainment/fun? If so, look at what is missing in your life that might give you a sense of joy, self nurture, comfort, etc… and add that in. You may then find you’re less likely to fulfill that need with food.
I’ve tried to instill more fun into my life. I’ve often asked ‘when the fun starts?’. Despite being in my early 40s I still wondered WHEN life was supposed to become something one enjoys.
While I have a long way to go, I’ve realised that the changes I’ve made in the last year or so have actually helped change my mindset. Life now isn’t just about having to commute and work for 10hrs a day, revel in some binge-eating before going to sleep and starting all over again.
There’s so much more.
While I’m hardly out partying or spending a lot of time ‘doing’ lunch and the like – my life is SO much better than it was before my seachange. Binge-eating is definitely not (yet) a thing of the past for me and I still value my nights in front of my fave shows on TV, but… it’s no longer the only thing worth living for.
And that’s a good thing.
* I should mention the articles also talk about those who may eat for other reasons, or wake during the night to eat etc. Check out the posts for yourself if you’re interested.
Do you ever over eat or binge eat? Is there a pattern?
I’m IBOTing with Essentially Jess today.
March 25, 2014
Afternoons are my prime time- I rarely eat after dinner. But if I’m at home, I’ll eat while catching up on telly on my computer…it’s the mindlessness of it. Why do I overeat? Usually when I’m feeling bored & empty inside…
March 25, 2014
I eat meals at my computer (brekkie and lunch) cos I spend most of the day on it, but bingeing there would be unusual – I don’t watch TV on it so need my hands! 😉
March 25, 2014
I spent years binge-eating. It was never restricted to night. It could happen any time I had access to food and privacy. I’ll still do it on occasion but those occasions are way less than they used to be. And the binges are way smaller – like having a second piece of rocky road with my cup of tea.
March 25, 2014
I haven’t binged in a while but over-eat occasionally. For me a binge is a very-out-of-control thing I do hoovering anything and everything. I think some overeating (having seconds when you’re full), eating several rows of chocolate when you were going to eat one is probably very normal.
March 25, 2014
I am not a binge eater but I do know that when I drink wine I eat more and if I eat with the tv on, it is almost mindless and I end up eating a lot more food. This is a really great post and I hope it helps you understand why you do it!
March 25, 2014
Thanks Eleise.
Deb
March 25, 2014
I’m a binge eater when I’m stressed!!!! And lately that’s been Very Often!!! I’m needing to get out of this rut before I start gaining again! I have to learn to walk away from the stress around me so as not to sabotage my success on my weight loss journey!!!:)
March 25, 2014
It’s good that you can recognise (and try to avoid) your triggers!
Deb
March 25, 2014
Oh I so want to give you a big hug right now! I know, I know what you’re saying as I’ve been there myself. I was reading and nodding along to your words. This is precisely why I have a passion to help people find our their reasons why they overeat/binge and get them on track to living a wonderful life. I’ve lost 25.5kgs, and I’ve got way more to go but I’m loving life and what the future holds. I want the same for you and I hope that you can find it, and I mean it from the bottom of my heart. xxoo
March 25, 2014
Oh thank you Leanne and congratulations on your achievements (the mindset change more than the weight loss!).
Deb
March 25, 2014
Wow thank you for sharing such a personal post. It sounds like you know what sets you off and try to avoid those things. Best of luck on your journey ahead xx
March 25, 2014
Thank you Lucy!
March 25, 2014
I’m am guilty of night-time TV binge eating – often the culprit is chips! I am working really hard to break they cycle though, it is not good, love the ideas in this post and has got me thinking that maybe there is more to it than I think xx Josefa #teamIBOT
March 25, 2014
One of the things the GMFR post(s) talked about Josefa was that often our nighttime eating is a habit – that might be what it is for you.
March 25, 2014
I binged for years and years. I had anorexia and once I *got over* that the binging was far worse. Whenever I travelled or was busy enjoying life I stopped. The finale for me was actually when I moved by myself to Brisbane and was away from all normal triggers and stresses. I was having lots of fun and easily fell into normal eating patterns. I had the occasional binge here or there, but really it got me over it amd I never went back. Ineverecer thought id stop, I thought it would always plague me. Food, alone at night after a crazy day was definitely what I was getting the most pleasure from when I was in the midst. Great post.
March 25, 2014
Thanks Jess. I can completely relate to what you’ve said – other than the stopping part of course. Like you though I was never a binge-eater until I became anorexic or perhaps as I was recovering from that. Before that I was a typical over-eater – having too many biscuits at night and that sort of thing. Nothing obsessive!
March 25, 2014
You should be proud of how far you have come Deb. It must be a relief to have someone articulate it .
My binge snack of choice is chips – afternoon.
March 25, 2014
Oh yes… chips… Nice and salty and crunchy. At some point in the past I wrote about the type of binge-food I like and it was always something that required a lot of hand to mouth movements…. (lots of bites, like chips, individual bits of chocolate etc). Not stuff like chocolate cake or ‘large’ things. If that makes sense!
March 25, 2014
Wow I can see why you had to think about that. I feel I need to think about this!
One of my favourite ways to unwind is to eat delicious food, by myself. Or possibly with Boatman. 🙂 Basically, without kids. I think it’s all kinds of awesome to have great wine, great pasta and a great movie on the TV with a great dessert (or chocolate) to follow. Whilst I don’t do it a lot, I can see that it could become a problem.
Clearly I need to be having more fun.
March 25, 2014
Ha! Indeedy. I have to say I’ve never really binged in front of others. I’ve over-eaten in front of family but not binged badly. (I’d suggest that perhaps I should have lived with others over these past 20+ years but I’m sure I would have found enough time alone to indulge!).
xx
March 26, 2014
You will probably laugh but have you tried doing something with your hands while eating. It can help for me. Though I have a strict cup of tea policy after dinner which I have been having with the kids so its much earlier than most adults would eat.
It must have really felt good to have someone else say out loud exactly how you are feeling Deb. Maybe it would be a good chance to say it out loud to yourself or put it on the fridge to remind you your not alone.
March 26, 2014
True Annaleis, and I do wonder if doing something with my hands (when I’m watching TV) would help. Bizarrely I don’t actually like doing anything else and rarely tweet etc at the same time. My mother reads magazines and does crosswords in front of the TV and I don’t get it. Having to look down or get distracted means she misses stuff that’s going on!
xx
March 26, 2014
This really rings true with me too – but I can’t see how it will change because if I’m honest I do have more fun when the kids are in bed, not that I don’t love and adore them, but at night is when I indulge. Bloody good read this Deb 🙂
March 26, 2014
Thanks Em.
March 27, 2014
I read this post yesterday and meant to comment but somehow I ended up reading the Green Mountain at Fox Run and doing their diet mentality test and then I found myself on Charlotte Hilton Andersen’s blog….
I don’t binge but like you I have my own indulgence rituals around food. I often watch a movie and eat or at least read something. I also think that not having enough fun in my life probably makes me eat more than I would otherwise do.
Fortunately starting my new hobbies has improved the situation a bit. I warmly recommend both hobbies – singing in a choir and salsa dancing to you too. 🙂
March 27, 2014
Oh Satu… I really cannot sing so that option’s out! 😉
However, the hobbies thing is a good idea. I tried the burlesque dancing recently (and may return) but do need to find things (other than food, TV & reading) I enjoy!
March 27, 2014
Not singing is not a problem. 🙂 I didn’t know how to sing when I started in September but after that my singing has improved tremendously. I can’t believe how well I sing now compared to 6 months ago.
I have never considered myself musical but I was intrigued by my mom’s tales about her choir. They sounded fun so I decided to to try it myself..
March 28, 2014
Good on you Satu!!!
March 27, 2014
I spent my teens and early twenties binging and purging. I managed to move into recovery until I had my first child and had Postnatal depression – from then I took up the binging again but didn’t return to purging. Thankfully, I am no longer so bad but I do have my moments. For me, there’s no particular time of day, I think it’s more circumstantial – things like fighting with my husband or having a bad day with the kids set me off.
March 28, 2014
Yes, I haven’t done the purging thing for a very long time. I can’t imagine wanting to do it now, although I guess I do still feel the regret and guilt that comes from a binge! 🙁
March 27, 2014
This is all really interesting. Thanks for sharing the links and for being your usual, brave, honest self.
March 28, 2014
Thanks Neen. x