Wherefore art thou?

Wednesday, February 1, 2012 Permalink

This email popped up in my Inbox on the weekend:

I discovered it as I went to bed on Saturday night… so it would have arrived after I’d spent the evening indulging in takeaway Chinese with my visiting mother and my brother and his family. The Chinese itself wouldn’t be too scary if I hadn’t actually eaten corn chips earlier that day. Or caramello koalas the day before.

Yep, you guessed it… my eating has continue to be all over the place since my ‘last’ weigh-in which featured no actual weight loss and resulted in me reacting as only I know how: badly.

It is only possible to live happily ever after on a day-to-day basis.However, it hasn’t all been chocolate and corn chips, so I’m slowly improving. I’ve had days of ‘goodness’, only to be negated by pure unadulterated ‘evilness’. (Yes, indeed my mindset and black/white thinking has not improved as much as I’d like!!!)

After some contemplating and deep breaths I braved the scales after getting the reminder email and am back to my post Christmas weight (which is actually the same as I was a week ago, having regained the 2.5kg lost in early January).

I’m relieved it’s not more, although I’ve basically kept up my exercise during the fiasco of the last 2-3 weeks, which has been my only redeeming quality. Oh… and I haven’t panicked, which I guess is also progress. Part of me has known (?!) that I would get back on track. Sooner or later.

So on Monday, I rolled up my sleeves and logged back into My Fitness Pal (MFP) and started entering my food and exercise. Again.

I’m only just over two days in, but so far so good: I’m averting my eyes to avoid shops stocking products that might tempt me and may well shop online until my resolve is what it was six months ago.

I won’t ask you to wish me luck, as I guess there’s no luck involved. Just hard work and willpower.
Do you agree?

20 Comments
  • Julia @ Boyfriends Make You Fat
    February 1, 2012

    Head down is the only way!

    • rockafellaskank
      February 1, 2012

      Too true. No shortcuts etc…

  • KCLAnderson (Karen)
    February 1, 2012

    Actually, I don’t agree. It’s not that some people have willpower and others do not; it’s that some people are ready and others are not. This doesn’t have to be a struggle. In fact, I believe that if you view it that, that’s what you’ll get.

    • rockafellaskank
      February 1, 2012

      Actually I do agree with the ‘readiness’ concept. SOMETIMES I’ve started on a program but known my heart wasn’t in it / that I wasn’t ready. I wonder if there’s some way of helping ourselves get / be ‘ready’?!

  • beanfruit
    February 1, 2012

    The more I examine this in my own life, the more I think for me it is about balance instead of what I usually think of as “willpower”. For me, balance is eating well the majority of the time yet allowing myself a treat now and then so I don’t binge. Right now, eating well and exercising most of the time is still hard work but I’m hoping that the more I make these good choices, the more normal it becomes. Eventually it won’t be work at all, right? Just the way things are.

    • rockafellaskank
      February 1, 2012

      I really hope so. I hope it (eating healthily) becomes a habit. At the moment it’s a struggle!

  • Renée @pinkypie
    February 1, 2012

    Well. I mostly agree. I agree that there’s no luck here. I don’t agree that it has to be “hard” but I think each person has to define “hard” for themselves. I don’t buy much into “willpower” or “motivation” anymore – my viewpoint is “Will” and “Mo” are like fair-weathered friends; they seem to only be around when it suits them. I think it’s a you do it or you don’t do it thing. And there is discipline involved. I also think you shouldn’t be too hard on yourself. Figure out what works, figure out why you have these phases, write it down, notice triggers, forgive yourself and be patient. If you track 90% of the time, make that commitment to yourself, you may find the discipline just falling into place.

    • rockafellaskank
      February 1, 2012

      Renee… I had a conversation with Karen who also left a comment about mindset and I think that really comes into it as well. As you said, willpower and motivation come and go. I know from experience that: my mindset needs to be in place; then I just plod along for a while until my discipline kicks in and I’m in the swing of things (in the zone, like Katherine says) then I’m okay. I usually either fall over in the early stages OR react badly to a slight slip-up.

      I really need to work on the guilt thing so I’m not as hard on myself – because that’s when my self-sabotaging behaviour comes into play!

      Deb

  • katherine
    February 1, 2012

    OMG how sensational would it be if it was all just left to luck.
    I find that it is sheer personal determination, hard work and getting and staying in the zone.
    and dont kill yourself if you fall off occassionally. 🙂

    • rockafellaskank
      February 1, 2012

      Hi Katherine… if only it was about ‘luck’… I agree. Thanks for stopping by.

      Deb

  • Renee aka Pinky (@pinkypie)
    February 1, 2012

    and by the way, I never get an email from MFP??? But then again I have logged in for some ridiculous amount of days now. look me up, I’m “lowfatpie” – if you want to add friends of course 🙂

    • rockafellaskank
      February 1, 2012

      Will do. I’ve mostly stayed offline when I use it as I’m worried it will suddenly plaster my weight all over my Facebook page or something! #Eek!

  • Karen@WaistingTime
    February 1, 2012

    I DO agree!

    • rockafellaskank
      February 1, 2012

      Thanks Karen!

  • Sasha
    February 1, 2012

    I wish you a firm resolve, and a friendly scale, how about that?? 🙂

    PS, Good luck! 😛

    • rockafellaskank
      February 1, 2012

      Perfect. Thanks Sasha!

  • Sara
    February 1, 2012

    Hi! Thanks for dropping by my blog (Sanaworld), I hope that article helped you – I also replied to you on Sanaworld, but never know if people actually see my replies! One thing I do know is relaxing is very important, and difficult when it feels like things aren’t going your way. So, it’s a kind of ‘relaxed willpower’ you are going for, IMO. Stress is a major contributor to overeating – and this includes the stress of being overweight, of thinking you are heavier and of feeling bad about eating caramello koala’s. It can also include the stress of seeing a scale ‘loss’ and wondering if it will stick around – I discovered all that when trawling through what seemed like a bazillion binge eating / ‘uncontrolled eating’ (i.e. uncontrolled but not ‘pathological’) studies for university. Crazy? Yes, but that’s just how it is with us human beings.

    • rockafellaskank
      February 1, 2012

      Your studies sound very interesting Sara. I was reading a bit about them on your blog.

  • Liz@LastChanceTraining
    February 2, 2012

    Hi Deb,
    I find MFP amusing as I often use it to check how a client is going. And then if I log it it tells me if I haven’t been around for a while that I need more encouragement lol!

    • rockafellaskank
      February 2, 2012

      I had a conversation with Renee (below, or maybe above) and said that I don’t go online or publish my updates cos I’m not sure where they would go….

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