The aftermath

Sunday, October 3, 2010 Permalink

Bugger!  I thought I had prepared myself.  I had hoped I had ‘evolved’ a little, so that when yesterday’s weigh-in result wasn’t all I had wanted, I would take solace in the fact that I had been ‘good’ all week.  I had hoped I would take it in my stride and not worry about the numbers.  Alas…

I weighed myself after brunching with friends and I was about a kilogram up from the previous day (meaning I was about half a kilogram heavier than last weigh-in).  Sorry to offer up too much information, but it is ‘that’ time of the month and with my period starting yesterday just before weigh-in I knew it might have some impact.  Having said all of that, the 600g weight gain could have been from anything so I shouldn’t keep making excuses. 

What annoyed me was how much it affected me.  I thought I was prepared (given the pre-weigh-in weigh-in), but I got there and chatted away to fave Weight Watchers consultant, Suzanne.  We trawled through my Journal where I record what I eat and daily points, as well as exercise (if you do any!!!).  Unsurprisingly she suggested I focus less on saving points for wine (or popcorn) at night and have something other than soup every day for lunch.  I already knew this.  I consume very little points during the day.  Most days when I arrive home from work at 6.30pm, I have only had about 8 of my 24 points.  We agreed my goal for this week – as well as less alcohol – would be to focus more on ‘what’ I spend my points on and ensuring I have some dairy, fruit etc each day.  So, all good. 

Then it came time to get on the scales.  I had been chatting away happily and flagged that I was retaining some fluid, but I suspect I had hoped for a miracle.  It isn’t uncommon that the scales surprise me – and I guess I had hoped it would be one of those occasions. I steeled myself for only a slight loss. 

So the 600g gain let me forlorn.  I wanted to try to stay peppy and upbeat but I couldn’t.  Thank god we had all but finished the consultation because I could barely mumble responses let alone engage in any conversation.  I wanted to cry.

Why on earth was I so upset? Suzanne OBVIOUSLY realised and tried to be encouraging…. I was obviously retaining fluid, I would have a better result next week.  Blah blah blah.

Of course I continued with my post-weigh-in pig out.  Although I was quite full from my usual corn chip splurge (and I had some chocolate) I didn’t really want dinner.  I cooked it anyway as I had planned on the fillet steak and mashed potatoes to go with my red wine…. but – thank god – I only ate half of it.  Once upon a time I would have eaten it all until I felt so sick I could do nothing but lie in the bath.  Last night I stuffed myself past fullness but not to the point of illness.  Still not good though. 

Suzanne gave me a tracking sheet for this week and I am to plan my menu out in advance and mix it up a bit.  I guess I can do that.  She talked at length about just having a glass of wine a night, or small snacks and building them into my days.  I listened and nodded but realise she doesn’t know me.  I am either being ‘good’ and sticking to points and not / barely drinking and eating no non-dietary food, or I am being ‘bad’ and eating anything.  No middle ground for me.  Not yet.  I know it is something I need to change.  I know I shouldn’t stuff myself to the point of being sick.  Not even to the point of being ‘full’. 

But as yet, I am just not sure how to get there.  Instead I will be ‘good’ this week.  This afternoon I will draw up my eating plan for the week and stick to points.  I might even try to incorporate some exercise again after several weeks of nothing but an hour of pilates.  The screwy thinking and habits will have to wait…

No Comments Yet.

I'd love to hear your thoughts