Something better

Saturday, September 21, 2013 Permalink

One of the things I like most about blogging is that I discover I’m not alone in my weirdness or horribleness.

When I wrote recently about ‘needing to go to the loo when exercising‘ย people responded in agreement. I get a lot of understanding when I write about binge eating and others join in my frustration at other bad habits – the comparison trap, exercise apathy and so forth.

It means I feel less anxious when I share something I’m experiencing as I know (or hope!) that others will nod their heads in agreement.

While individuality is a great thing, there’s something inherently comforting in knowing that we are more similar than we often imagine.

So, here it is.

I’m hard to satisfy.

And no, I’m not sharing bedroom secrets! Rather I mean that I’m constantly wondering IF there’s something better and if I’m doing / seeing / being / buying the ‘right’ or best thing. And it happens ALL. OF. THE. TIME.

When I’m mindlessly watching TV (not something I do often as I’m usually very discerning in my viewing and don’t watch TV for the sake of it!) – waiting for something to start – I’m a rabid channel surfer. Even IF I’m enjoying something, I’ll switch to another show during the ad and then possibly miss some of what I’m watching… just in case the other show’s better, or just in case there’s something else on which I might enjoy better.

I struggle when ordering at a restaurant or buying groceries. “Is that what I really really want?” I have to ask myself. “What if I want x more?” Or, “What if x is better?”ย 

I probably seem a bit scatty and ruled by my impulses, but I’m a big weigher of choices. I usually end up going with my gut (as I mentioned in my last post) BUT I do consider all options.

I’m currently thinking of buying an iPad. But I can’t decide between the mini or the standard iPad. And then there’s the connectivity: wifi and / or cellular? Plus, what if a new model comes out soon? I know we’ve just had the September release of the iPhone, but you never know.

I scour catalogues before buying big products. My fridge has been making strange noises for yonks and is about 15 years old. It’s gonna die very soon, so I’ve been catalogue browsing for ages. If I walk into the store and just pick one out I might miss out on something better, or something cheaper or a newer model.

Sometimes having NO choice is the easiest option. Although we might not think so at the time.

This is all in my mind because this morning I had to buy my mother a beach / bath robe. She’s been visiting her local pool and walking and doing exercises (supported by the warm water) every day as part of her post-hip replacement therapy. She’s borrowed a thick bathrobe of mine so she can come and go without changing, but wants her own.

My current hometown is larger than hers and has more shops, so we planned that I’d look around. However, yesterday she called to tell me a certain store had some on sale. I’d already planned to look elsewhere, so was now in a quandary (that only I could create!).

Do I go to the bath place that had them on sale first, or do I go to the other place to see if they have any. Either way it’d involve doubling up cos one would most certainly be better and I’d be toing and froing between both.

I felt guilty – like I was cheating her by NOT sussing out all possible options before making the purchase – even though she didn’t expect me to.


When I (over)analyse this bad habit in my little mind I ponder on my decision-making confidence, levels of regret, perfectionist nature and need to please others – and how this impacts on the tiniest decisions I make each and every day.

Like I said… Gah!

Please tell me you can relate, even to some extent!
Do you worry you’ve made the wrong choice / should have shopped around more / could have bought/eaten/made/done something better?



  • Char
    September 21, 2013

    Yes I can relate. And my youngest son can relate. And my husband can relate. But because my husband can relate I’ve actually become better at making decisions without agonising over them. Sure there are some that are still so painfully hard to make but I can decide the small stuff without the soul-searching I used to do.

    • Debbish
      September 23, 2013

      I think I ponder more on the little things than the big things!

  • jules- big girl bombshell
    September 22, 2013

    yes I relate always looking for the best *deal* Scouring ads, coupons, sales, where can I get the most bang for my buck. Rarely, do I pay full price but often it ends up costing me more in time and effort….hmmmmm….some more food for thought?

    • Debbish
      September 23, 2013

      Yes, I often recognise that as well. I tell myself that paying more for less stress and angst is sometimes worth it!

  • Jo Tracey
    September 22, 2013

    I’m the opposite. I’m an impulse buyer, impulse watcher, make my mind up quickly & never 2nd guess. There’s no such thing as buyers remorse. Hubby likes to shop around, weigh the deals, consider the options- he reads a menu the same way- it drives me batty ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Debbish
      September 23, 2013

      I like to think of myself as impulsive, but have to admit I’m not. I just responded to someone else though also saying that I actually stress more about the little decisions and go with my gut on the big ones!

  • evilcyber
    September 24, 2013

    No offense, but this sounds a bit obessive-compulsive to me. As if you are afraid of being made responsible for your decisions.

    • Debbish
      September 24, 2013

      Oh… I’m definitely sure I worry about being responsible for my decisions! (Particularly the little ones – bizarrely!)

  • Kek
    September 24, 2013

    I think we all have moments where we’re a bit paralysed by choice, so no, you’re not alone. I tend not to have too much difficulty with it, but my husband drives me NUTS with his indecisiveness.

    I particularly hate going to restaurants with him if the menu has more than about a dozen choices on it. He CANNOT decide. We send the waiter away again and again, because he hasn’t decided yet …meanwhile, I’m starving. Aargh! ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • Debbish
      September 24, 2013

      Hee hee… I’m not quite that bad – although being coeliac does usually limit my choices! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • Satu
    September 27, 2013

    You’re a maximizer, Deb! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Shopping can be terribly stressful because we have so many choices available for us. I remember being very upset in a grocery store when I couldn’t find my favorite brand of almonds…and I used at least 5 minutes trying to decide whether to buy what was available or not. Not very zen.

    • Debbish
      September 27, 2013

      Oh yes, I remember Gretchen Rubin talking about maximisers and minimisers (I think that was it?!).

      I sometimes like smaller supermarkets or stores solely because of the lack of choice!

  • jesus8877
    June 17, 2015

    I’m terrible with this. It rules my life! Throughout the day my mind is tormented by thoughts of should I be changing a major life decision in order to improve my life in every way.

    • Debbish
      June 17, 2015

      Oh yes… I often say I’m worse with the small decisions though! The ones that matter less!

I'd love to hear your thoughts