Snapping the f*ck out of it

Thursday, September 29, 2011 Permalink

After my seemingly motivated posts earlier this week, I have been a bit down over the last couple of days. And I must confess that my mood is entirely self-inflicted. I had a bit of a blah day on Wednesday. Some stuff happened at work that stressed me out, my gym class was cancelled (again – although I did a lunchtime walk instead) and so by the time I caught a bus from work to visit my father in hospital I was weary and OVER it.

My mother and I arrived home (well, to brother’s place where we are cat-sitting) fairly late and I asked if she’d mind having leftovers for dinner as I was too tired to cook, even though I regularly cook for myself after 8pm at night. And, in typically ‘me’ style I decided on a dinner (for me) of scrambled eggs AND champagne. And… I must admit that lolling in the bath drinking champagne and reading a magazine, washing the day away, was indeed blissful.

But, then yesterday the guilt crept in. Although I’d had a healthy day and stayed under my calorie limit I felt guilty about the alcohol… and it impacted on my mood ALL BLOODY DAY. So, naturally I told myself that I wouldn’t do that again. Perhaps I’d just indulge in some wine on a Saturday (or not, if I could possibly manage it). I’d had several alcohol-free nights earlier in the week and it had been fine (and I had felt very virtuous).

And yet, for some unknown reason, on my way home last night I stopped and bought some more wine. Yes, I know…. I didn’t heed my own advice – there were many moments when the wine-buying and subsequent imbibing could have been derailed. I just needed to take some responsibility and BE STRONG. But alas…

So today, I again travelled into work feeling melancholy and annoyed at myself. It’s not really the calories that worries me, but more the signs of ‘weakness’, and fact that I did something I said I wouldn’t do. I failed.

As I was sitting on the bus mentally beating myself around the head I trawled through others’ achievements and healthy living via Twitter and Facebook and the like. Feeling guilty. And blah.

And then I saw this.

 

And I told myself to snap the fuck out of it and bloody well move on.

2 Comments
  • Julia
    September 30, 2011

    That is a really intense picture!

    • rockafellaskank
      September 30, 2011

      I know. I wondered if it was fake! Either way it (temporarily) shocked me out of my self pity.

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