I had a session with my life coach, Karen Anderson, last Friday and we talked a little about resilience.
I was in a great mood when we started our skype session and I told her so. But… I was simultaneously conscious that my buoyancy could be fleeting.
It’s something that I’ve long been conscious of – in my sessions with Karen or in other therapy sessions over the years: the mood I’m in at that moment (good, bad or ugly) shapes everything I discuss and how I perceive the world at large. Twice now I’ve spoken to Karen when I’ve been in a really good ‘place’ mentally. Friday was no different as I was chirpy about some opportunities that were MAYBE coming my way.
Even though I’d found out that I won’t qualify for any government support for months, I saw it as the impetus I need to be a bit proactive with my fledging business. I would HAVE to start approaching people and organisations re paid writing / blogging / social media opportunities. So, rather than feeling nervous about paying my bills, I was kinda excited that I would be forced into action.
A part-time job had been advertised which fit me to a T and I was in the running for a four-week job which would help ‘ease’ me back into the workforce after nine months of freedom.
But… even in my moments of positivity I told her, I KNEW – if these other opportunities slipped through my fingers – my world would come crashing down. Again. Albeit temporarily.
I know myself pretty well. I say I’m a pessimist or a cynic. Or both… and I mostly try to be. Otherwise I get hopeful. I start to fantasise about ‘good’ things happening. And then when they don’t, I crash and burn. No matter how prepared for failure (or the lack of success) I think I am.
“I need to be more resilient,” I told Karen.
And sure enough… the temporary job fell through later in the day. And another agency I thought would help me look for part-time opportunities proved to be a bit of a dud. Suddenly, the girl who had TOO many choices, had barely any.
And I was deflated. Again I bemoaned my lack of resilience.
However, a day or so later and I’m already feeling better. Almost hopeful. And when I saw this quote on Domonique Bertolucci’s Facebook page I realised that perhaps I was more resilient than I realised.
Sure I – fairly briefly – fell in a little hole and started questioning my abilities and my worth. Sure my confidence waned. But… although I’m still not brimming with self-confidence and positivity, I’m back on my even keel. Again I have hope.
And it’s about more than work, business and money.
Last week I struggled with my strength-based training. You may recall I’m trialling an online personal training service offered by Amino Z. The resistance program I was given was / is very doable. But… I just kept putting off the strength work. Day after day. My old dread of the gym came back. Indeed, I almost skipped some training sessions completely because I didn’t want to do the weights component.
But after confessing today, I was reassured by my trainer that what I managed to achieve for the week was okay. Indeed, it was way more than what I was doing just a couple of weeks ago. So, all is not lost and… I have some plans to improve on my efforts of last week that I think will succeed. But more on that later.
How do you deal with disappointment?
Do you see yourself as resilient?