I am you know.  Plodding along that is.  I got back on track Sunday (the day after weigh-in), although I did hit 25 points – just over my 24 point limit.  As a result I put in a feeble attempt on the jogging trampoline to earn a bonus point, but given that recent weigh-ins have been followed by a few days of binging, I am okay with going 1 point over.

I have been under points for the last couple of days.  Fairly easily AND despite popcorn.  I have to admit that I was really close to going and buying some wine last night.  I had heaps of points to spare when I got home from work.  In my little mind I calculated the options and knew it was doable.  But…. it wasn’t just about the points-factor.  MY aim was to have more alcohol-free nights…. and amazingly I managed to put aside the yearning and made do with popcorn instead.  (It does sometimes occur to me that popcorn with butter has more points than an entire bottle of low-calorie, low-alcohol champagne; but it is the principle that is important.  And (of course) to know I can do it; to know that I have the willpower to resist temptation. 

Today I even had hot chips for lunch (with grilled fish).  Yes, on a diet!  There is (yet another) valuable lesson here for me I think.  A friend of mine has started Weight Watchers (also through the one-on-one consultations) and she commented that she has had some cake on a couple of occasions and some chocolate.

This admission got me thinking…. I am either: 1. being ‘good’ – ie. sticking to points and using spare points for treats like popcorn and egg custards – which are things that I don’t eat when I am not dieting (particularly the egg custards); or 2. I am being ‘bad’ – ie. eating massive amounts of unhealthy food and stuffing one ‘bad’ thing in after the other.  The things I eat (corn chips, chocolate, Chinese food etc) are things I wouldn’t dream of eating when I am being ‘good’, or dieting.  But why?  I realise I need to build what-I-perceive-to-be-treats into my daily diet, so they are less exciting for me.  Of course the dilemma will be ONLY eating a portion, rather than the entire bag of chips, or block of chocolate.  (And I know I have a way to go yet before I am able to do that!) But, having the chips today and then working out the points, got me thinking.  Next time, when I have points to spare, instead of making an egg custard I will have something I actually LIKE and something I actually WANT.  Keeping it in the house until I am allowed to eat it, will also be a whole other matter, but as I keep saying… small steps….