OMG – restarting AGAIN

Monday, August 30, 2010 Permalink

I have now been back in my own place for nearly one week.  Regular readers will recall that – once home from parent-caring duties – I was to get back on track and undo and damage inflicted on my body and the scales while away on holidays.  That way, when I weigh-in this coming Saturday (4 September), the result will not send the Weight Watchers consultant from the room screaming….

Sadly, I have only managed to count points on two days during this past week.  Well, in all honesty, I only tried to count points on two days.   The other days I woke with good intentions, but these went out of the window as soon as I started fantasising about corn chips or chinese or pizza.  Egad!  And, as I have reported in the past… as an ‘all or nothing’ / ‘black vs white’ thinker… all I need is a bit of waywardness and I decide to continue with the feasting because I will (of course) start afresh the next day.  Alas, alack….

Today is one of those days.  A ‘starting-afresh’ day.  Yesterday was a ‘why not buy two Chinese meals for lunch and eat them’ day. 

Unfortunately (or fortunately from a dieting perspective), this is the last week of my holidays.  As a result I am starting to stress about what I haven’t done: writing, job applications and so forth… So, not only am I overcome with guilt about my apathy on that front, but I feel bad about not dieting and about not exercising. 

Today I DID have a minor win (little ripple in the sea of losses!) as I finally went out and bought the much-needed desk chair.  So, as I type this, my hefty butt is much more comfortable.  Gathering the motivation I needed for the chair-buying exploit, meant that I decided that I could skip my morning walk (which would have made a total of 2 – yes 2 – in one week!) as I was worried that any delay would result in loss of motivation and no new chair.

Small steps…. So, the must-buy-chair guilt is now allayed and is replaced by the I-haven’t-exercised guilt.  I am, however, reminding myself of a discussion I had a while ago with a Weight Watchers consultant when I was having difficulty.  She gave me permission to focus on food and the diet for a week or two and not think about exercise until I had my points under control. 

I suspect I am thinking of invoking this advice out of laziness rather than anything else however…  And, of course, I COULD still go for a walk.  All is not lost.  Yet…

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