I was just asked if I was: nervous; excited; or pumped and I don’t know what my answer is. If an adjective can be made out of anticipate, then that’s it. Anticipatory? Perhaps that’s a word.
I’ve just signed up for Michelle Bridges 12 Week Challenge – which I’ve written about over the last week or so – and these were the questions I got. I felt obliged to have one last ditch effort before succumbing to surgery, because even though I shouldn’t, I still find myself thinking of surgery as a bit of a cop-out. I realise I sound judgemental and I do know someone who’s had it so I know it isn’t ‘the easy’ path that some may think. I’ve mentioned before that I read some online comments which were SO confronting that it seriously made me rethink my perception of the lapbanding option, particularly in relation to how I would self-comfort if food wasn’t an option!
Nevertheless, I do feel as if I have the potential to lose weight the usual way – ie. expending more calories than I consume! Of course I may find that I crash and burn a couple of weeks into the program, but I hope I don’t. I’m tired of constantly thinking, “I wish it was 6 months down the track and I am 30 kilograms less than I am now.” I thought exactly that as I walked into my building today – behind someone whose body I would have killed for. (Of course sometimes I also think, “And I wish I’d won Lotto and didn’t ever have to work again.” Oh, and “And I wish that men were swamping me with affection and attention.”)
I’ve written before about the fact that I’m never more excited about a diet than just before I start. There it is again: that anticipation… All will be well in the world. This diet will work. I will lose masses of weight and everyone will be gobsmacked. That – of course – is never the reality. I always like the idea of dieting, exercising and eating healthily, more than the reality. As a result I am always fine in the weeks or days leading up to ‘starting’ a diet, during which time I eat as much crap as I can possibly shove into my body, safe in the knowledge that I will soon be ‘in control’ of my eating and the extra layers will be a thing of the past.
So, at the moment I am gazing upon 12WBT and seeing it as a magic elixir. Poor Michelle Bridges doesn’t know what she’s in for. It seems that – yet again – I assume that something will click into place and I will suddenly have the motivation and commitment I need to lose weight: to start losing weight AND to continue losing weight.
I know Michelle’s mantra is ‘just fucking do it’ so perhaps that will rub off. Perhaps I will stop the overanalysis and JFDI!
May 3, 2011
For me 12wbt was a magical elixir…I hope it will be for you. But dont for one second think that means its EASY….hard work, but it’s so worth it when you get results!!!
May 3, 2011
Thanks Sarah. I don’t expect it to be easy (hence my dread I think) but I keep hearing so many positive comments (such as yours) that I do hold some hope it may work for me as well!
Deb