I know I tend to be a bit of a drama queen. In my last post I whinged about some stuff which had me reaching out to the familiar for comfort. And I’ve admitted, since swearing off my ‘danger’ foods in June and July – August has seen the occasional food binge.
On top of this, after a few weeks of injury and illness, my usual exercise regime suffered and I didn’t adjust my food intake accordingly.
So I feel fat and porky (and yes I know they’re kind of the same thing but the repetition is an indication how blech I feel, physically). I haven’t been on the scale for a week or two and I’m partially in denial about what the numbers might say.
It’s funny as in the past I’ve been able to get on track with my ‘diet’ but struggled with my mindset, which has eventually led to my dieting-downfall.
However I’ve recently felt that my mindset is improving – as I wrote about in my Shades of Grey (thinking) post. So, on one hand I feel mentally healthier (about food and exercise) than I have a long time. But on the other my behaviour has been far less-than stellar.
Argh!
My thinking and behaviour seem to be on different wavelengths. When one’s doing fine the other’s spiralling out of control. And vice versa.
I wonder how I can get them in sync?! Obviously other things are coming into play: emotions, my environment… or something.
I’m trying to rein-in my unhealthy eating behaviour. I’m NOT dieting (counting calories and the like), but I’m trying to make more sensible decisions – predominantly about what I eat at home which is really the only time I overeat or make unhealthy choices.
I haven’t been successful on the mindful / intuitive eating approach to date. So, my plan is to AGAIN – swear off my trigger or danger foods (namely corn chips and chocolate) for the time being and make better choices at night and on weekends. Cue exhausted sigh.
Are your mindset and behaviour in sync?
August 30, 2012
If it helps you any, reintroducing my few triggers back into my life has never worked, no matter how balanced and rational I am. I just cheerfully avoid them for the most part – I figure one or two foods to avoid and a million others to eat and enjoy.
xx
August 31, 2012
Liz, one of my problems is that I often replace one binge (trigger) food with another! Alas!
August 30, 2012
Fake it til you make it, sweetheart! For me, I try to think of it more as my VALUES than my MINDSET. That makes it easier for me, when I’m about to hit crisis/binge-mode, to readjust my thinking. I take a deep breath and remember that:
I AM MORE THAN MY REFLECTION.
I VALUE LOVE AND KINDNESS, NOT APPEARANCE.
I AM ENOUGH.
And, of course, restriction always always always leads to bingeing. Incorporating ‘danger foods,’ nourishing the parts of ourselves that crave yummy foods is OK! It’s even essential! (so hard to do. so hard.) xoxo
August 30, 2012
Hi Julia, I don’t agree with your sentiment.
Yes – restricting calorie intake will often (but not always) lead to bingeing
Avoiding a certain food – because it triggers bingeing can be very positive provided you have ownership over the decision to limit such foods. Besides are we that hard done by that the millions of other yummy foods out there aren’t enough?
August 31, 2012
Liz, I kinda understand where Julia’s coming from here as for me it IS about certain food, but (as I said in my earlier comment) I often replace one food with another. (Rice cakes came about because I’d stopped eating cornchips and before I knew it I liked rice cakes more than cornchips.)
Lately popcorn has becoming increasingly attractive to me! Argh!
August 31, 2012
I’m intrigued about the ‘values’ thing Julia as I can’t figure out how that would work for me… Do you mean values in relation to how you think of yourself or how you think of food and dieting etc? Hmmm….
I do agree with you about the restriction mindset!
Deb
August 30, 2012
Long time, no see!! I think this post raises a good point. It’s never easy to keep everything on track at once. I’ve often spoke about having trouble either getting my eating in check or consistently exercising or staying on top of everything at work and in my home. This is when I think it’s important to come back to balance — it’s a constant balancing act, never perfect, always in flux, giving attention where it’s needed most changing all the time. Self-care is a full time job.
August 31, 2012
Hi Michele and thanks for visiting. I realised after I wrote this that I do actually have my exercise behaviour ‘on track’. Food remains the biggest issue for me!
I noticed you haven’t been blogging but I hope you are well.
Deb
September 2, 2012
I think the key is to understand that mindset is just as much a practice as anything else, and that there will be days when mindset and behavior are just not in sync…and it’s okay. The trick is consistency. I had an out-of-sync day last week when I bought a pack of smarties and ate them all…overall, it wasn’t all that much of a binge compared to what I used to do in terms of amount and length of time, but it had a serious effect on how I feel physically and my mindset has been off-kilter ever since. But, like I always say, I caught myself and am moving forward. And now that I think about it, I now know why I did it: it’s kind of a long story so maybe I’ll blog about it, but it has to do with feeling guilty for needing to use a half dose of anti-anxiety medication in order to sleep and asking my doc to refill a prescription under false pretenses, then getting to the pharmacy and finding that it hadn’t been called in. I was embarrassed. So I bought the damned smarties.
September 2, 2012
Oh how annoying – I can see how the smartie situation ended up arising! After I’d written this post I was also thinking a bit about beliefs and values, but think that will take a lot more contemplation.
Love your attitude in moving forward though!
Deb
September 4, 2012
Hi Deb! I think all of the other comments are going to seem smarter than mine, especially since I can’t decide which I agree with most. I love what Julia says to herself. Oftentimes, I find that kind loving words to myself during stressful times does matter. On the other hand, I’ve only done well during times when I also incorporated Liz’s approach of avoiding a few trouble foods that I can’t seem to handle myself around.
Further, I am also as emotional as you. I simply can’t comprehend how others can be so stable and consistent–at all! I am learning to appreciate my highs and lows, though. Would I trade the amount of excitement I get on most days with a few low days here and there for consistency? Never!!!!
🙂 Marion
September 4, 2012
I must admit I agree Marion. I guess there have to be negatives that come with the positives in terms of behaviour. I wouldn’t be quite as rambunctious if my behaviour was my placid and even-keeled. I suspect the important thing will be learning to control the ‘bad’ to keep the ‘good’!
Deb