I know it sounds irresponsible but I have a (now) not-so-secret desire to skip dinner.
As you know, I’m trying to eat mindfully. I can’t say I’m particularly successful at the moment, but by not-dieting, I’ve reduced my binge-eating quite drastically.
Having fewer rules and regulations around what I can and can’t eat means that I’m not feeling deprived, but nor am I inhaling kilograms of chocolate and cornchips.
However… I still eat too much in the evening and still worship at the altar of the ‘dinner’ gods.
For some reason, no matter how full I am from a pre-dinner snack or how late it may be, I feel this compulsion to cook and partake in an exciting and delicious dinner.
As I’m not working my mealtimes are a bit screwy. I get up and have some diluted orange juice and then adjourn to my computer. As I’m doing now I’ll often pfaff about online and not breakfast until almost mid morning. That means I have lunch late.
On top of screwy mealtimes, if I have books (and readers of my Debbish blog will know I’m rationing myself because of my binge-reading habit) my bigger problem is my compulsion to loll in the bath and read before dinner. Quite often I’ll have some champagne in there and be enjoying the book so much it KILLS me to have to get out at a pre-set time (usually 8pm) to cook dinner before watching something on television.
Quite often it will occur to me that I’m not really hungry and could quite easily just stay in the bath and finish the bloody book. Instead I get out for an hour or so and often find myself back in there later to finish whatever it was I started.
I realise skipping meals entirely isn’t sensible so would have a protein shake or a scrambled egg in lieu of dinner, to keep my metabolism clicking over.
Last night was a perfect example. I wasn’t hungry. At all. So I told myself in a mantra-like way that I’d just scramble an egg with some ham. That would do.
But for some reason I decided that it was dinner time and I SHOULD have a proper dinner. I’m SO not tradition-girl so it’s strange that I cling onto old habits.
When I worked I used the excuse that dinner was the only meal I had the time to enjoy. As I’m not currently working and at home all day I cannot use that one.
It’s like I feel I’m missing out on something or some opportunity by skipping an exciting dinner in lieu of something that just offers sustenance. I’ve tried the old self-talk thing; telling myself I can have that mashed potato and steak with pepper sauce TOMORROW night for dinner, when my appetite will do it justice; I tell myself I’m not abstaining completely.
But alas, it doesn’t work. The habit or tradition of ‘dinner’ seems so ingrained that I can’t do without it. But… I’m gonna keep trying. Just to make sure I can!
Are you a stickler for your ‘three meals a day’ (and perhaps snacks)?
Do you only eat when you’re hungry?