When I first started this weight loss program (12WBT) last round I didn’t know what to expect. I thought there’d be maybe 50 people doing it around the country. And then it started…. and I was blown away by the sheer numbers of participants. Given that it’s an online program I shouldn’t be surprised at the online activity but it absolutely frigging blew me away. In fact I was overwhelmed. I wanted to withdraw into my little shell and hide. I’d been expecting something fairly anonymous and low-key. But… as I wrote back then, each time I discovered that some new activity or topic had been provided I’d log onto the website only to be in absolute SHOCK at how many others had already done the exercise and more. Didn’t these people have lives for god’s sake?! I got a few comments in response to that post – most of which told me just to hang in there. But one comment told me to just hold back a little if I wanted. They didn’t tell me to disengage but they’d done the program previously and counselled me to participate ONLY as much as I felt comfortable doing or wanted to.
I know the program Ambassadors encourage us to use the program’s online Forums, and I did do that, but I also HUGELY relied on Twitter and Facebook. And… I like to think I now have a little cadre of Twitterites that I consider to be friends, and if not friends, then comrades. Brothers in arms, if you like.
And now, the pre-season program for the next round has started and OMFG it’s happening again. But it’s growing. This time I’m even feeling overwhelmed by the Facebook activity. (And I apologise if I sound ungrateful, because – believe me – I’m not. I think it’s great that there’s so much enthusiasm…) But…
It’s all a little overwhelming again. One of the things I wrote about as the last round of the program neared its end, was the extent to which this program had pervaded all parts of my life. At the time I said that I knew that healthy eating, thinking and exercise SHOULD indeed underpin our everyday lives, but not to the detriment of other things. Surely.
My entire world for 12 weeks was about the six days of exercise I had to do each week, tracking my calories (which I did every single day), writing my blog posts (my decision, nothing to do with the program) and participating in forums and training programs. With such a large (and growing) group it’s seriously possible to eat, drink and sleep 12WBT as there’s always someone out there wanting to talk about it, or plan some event or other. And… as I said, I think that’s great as I have indeed benefited from several planned training sessions and catch-ups. But – because of the sort of all-or-nothing person I am, I am starting to find it overwhelming.
I am more than someone on a weight loss program. I am more than a 12WBTer. I want my life to revolve around being healthier and I want to become a better version of me (as the program espouses)… but I also want to live my bloody life. I don’t want to lie in bed stressing because I can’t go to certain training sessions, or because I don’t feel as enthusiastic as others on the program who have hijacked my Facebook news feed. I suspect I need to disengage just a little and NOT feel guilty about it, or feel like a failure. But only I can work out what moderation means for me and I probably need to do that sooner rather than later before I throw the baby out with the bathwater.
August 17, 2011
I completely understand! I loved the program in R2 – my first and was all set to re-engage for R3 because I really started to miss the forum activity. I would post 2-3 times a day and spend hours on the forums scouring for ‘people like me’.
I haven’t signed up yet because I have to wait till next payday – but I have found that keeping to myself and working the 12wbt philosophy into my life in a ‘normal’ way is working too. So I’ll see, maybe I won’t sign up in two weeks. Maybe I will be able to make it on my own.
Good luck – but do it at your pace. It has to be sustainable for you for your life and the long term.
I love your blog – I read it everyday, but don’t always comment.
xx
August 18, 2011
Hey Annalisa
Thanks for your comment. You are right, I have to make sure what I do is sustainable (as I realise it’s a lifestyle thing). I am thinking I might engage a bit less in the Forums this time around and hide all but the FB event invitations (as I liked to go to some of the training sessions).
Good luck for Round 3!
Deb
August 18, 2011
sustainable is the key word in my opinion. life long sustainable changes that suit you. xx
August 18, 2011
Deb, I know exactly how you feel!! Round 1 was amazing for me.. everyone was supportive, I posted on the forums regularly and made the most of the program. Round 2 though- I was overwhelmed at the number of new sign ups!
Posting on the forum felt harrowing- and as my mother and a few other friends joined the program rd 2, I felt I’d lost that sense of anonymity. (my mother would actively discuss my blog/forum posts with me, which was incredibly frustrating). Round 2 was all about twitter for me (never the facebook groups.. urgh) and as I stepped back from the forums I definitely suffered as a result- I now realise that the support on the forums was a big factor in my success round 1, so I plan to throw myself back into it round 3 and see what happens!
There of course need to be that ever allusive sense of balance- 12WBT is a lifestyle- not a life.
August 18, 2011
Very true – that 12WBT is a lifestyle not a life. Great quote!!! Everyone is going crazy on the Qld FB page. Angela must have to be on there constantly to provide information, responses and links etc. I enjoy my blogging and definitely enjoy Twitter, so perhaps I should disengage from the FB stuff a bit (hide the group perhaps, so I can access when I want but not be bombarded with stuff all day).
PS. Loved the pictures from C2S!
Deb
August 18, 2011
Fantastic post Deb. Very timely and relevant! Soooo many people have mentioned this to me – recently – and at start of last round.
I will write a longer post as I have been pondering this also.
In short, I say that people should not attempt to do or read everything. It is not possible or realistic……… OR NECESSARY!
I’d say Mish’s 12WBT videos, tasks & plans are the only ESSENTIALS to do / read. Everything else is OPTIONAL….. do only that which serves you.
Find YOUR way to make 12WBT work for YOU and acknowledge that your way might be different to others and that is AOK! Don’t feel pressured to do everything everyone else does.
Reading everything on twitter, facebook, forums, blogs etc is impossible.
Doing every event, training and coffee session organise is impossible. It can’t be done and is certainly not needed to succeed and reach weight loss and fitness goals.
I certainly do not read / do everything!
I make it work for me…I do only what serves me – increasingly!! My must do are Mish’s tasks, videos and following the nutrition & training programs. But the rest, I pick and choose! 🙂
In my first round (Round 2, 2010) I felt the pressure you describe but going into Round 3 2010 I made conscious choice NOT to try to do it all. No self pressure. No all or nothing. No guilt.
Loved this post – it was where my head was at between my first & second rounds last year. Totally get where your head’s at!
xxxx
August 18, 2011
Thanks Ange. I think I have just been really shocked by the Facebook activity… and it was probably worse because I had time off work and there were constant updates etc. Normally I can only access Forums, FB, Twitter etc at night, or via my phone for a snippet at lunch or commuting.
I had the Forum stuff under control last round, but may have to hide some of the FB stuff I think so I don’t feel like I am drowning.
Deb
August 18, 2011
I have noticed that facebook activity goes absolutely through the roof when pre-season opens and settles again in the first couple of weeks. I don’t think anyone can sustain that level of excitement or facebook-time! haha
Mish’s 12WBT facebook page goes beserk, as do all the group ones for each area…. and oh my goodness I have been unundated with private messages about when, where etc for any coffee meet ups, training etc. Almost have those organised so that will help the traffic I have had slow down.
I can’t say enough (to myself!) or to you and others, just do what serves you. It can take a bit of experimenting to work out what is the best way to access the support you need to make the changes you plan to wiht 12WBT…. I constantly change the way I use facebook, twitter and forums. Iam looking at making a few more changes to streamline it a bit. Fortuantely for me, new media technologies and social networking is a bit of a long term interest for me…. so my use comes from that perspective and from wanting to learn and experiment with the technologies. 12WBT has given me a great ‘excuse’ to indulge that interest a bit more! I almost did a masters of new medica tech instead of in population health as, while I love research I am a science / health communicator deep down and want to return to that field at least in part. Still working out what I want to be when I grow up … but that’s another story! 😀
I try to just ride the hectic social netowrking times when 12WBT begins and ends each round…. it cannot come before other things in life or get in the way of the goals we are trying to meet with 12WBT!
xx
August 18, 2011
Hi Deb, I just completed my first round (Round 2, 2011) and have signed up for Round 3 (my round 2) 🙂
I think we need to be a bit obsessed for the 12 weeks of the 12wbt because we are ‘transforming’ our bodies – while it is a lifestyle we are adopting, I doubt many of us will continue to focus exactly in this same way during maintenance phase. Our lifestyle will be healthy eating and regular exercise but not quite so focussed – it will become a habit rather than something we have to think about all the time.
I pick and choose my involvement in the forums and also on FB and twitter because I don’t have time to do everything – I think Ange’s points are spot on. I need to do the eating/fitness side and watch MB’s videos – I only managed to log in once to MB’s Wednesday chat – it coincides with dinner time with my family so I often listened to it the next day if I had time.
I also see the FB posts for the group in my local area but have been unable to join them for any event / activity as yet. I hope to this round.
I found that works for me.
What I found hard to deal with last round were the negative posts on the forums because they unsettled me and made me feel negative and unfocussed, so I stopped reading them. That’s not to say that those people shouldn’t post them – of course they should post to get support! – but I just found I didn’t need to read them.
Anyway, I guess I’m saying, don’t throw the baby out with the bath water – just adapt it to suit you – it’s such a cute and worthwhile baby afterall! 😀
Tania
August 18, 2011
Thanks Tania. I think you are right. I need to be a bit choosier about what I participate in so it isn’t as overwhelming…. At some point yesterday I seriously wondered if I wanted to continue with the program – I felt so swamped with stuff from Facebook. I’m also trying to remind myself that newbies are particularly keen and nervous so it might die down a little in weeks to come.
Deb
August 18, 2011
Hi Tania,
I agree with all you’ve said… and yes, in my first and second round of 12WBT I actively avoided any posts that I thought might make me revert to thinking negative things. Like you, I have no problem with people posting that… that’s part of the value or point of the forums. However I just realised that I couldn’t immerse myself in that as I was fighting my own demons and needed to work hard to foster the thoughts I needed to reach my goals. Having said that, when I returned to 12WBT for my 3rd and 4th rounds it was as an Ambassador and I was very willing to read those posts that I would have avoided a little in previous rounds as I felt I was in a strong, positive headspace and because chances were I had been exactly where they were, I felt I could, and should, help.
Definitely about adapting it to suit you. You are bang on the money there.
xx
August 18, 2011
oh! I just remembered something….. when I started my 2nd round of 12WBT last year I had a little mantra or motto: TRAIN BEFORE YOU TYPE!! That was my rule and it worked so well because I experienced exactly what you describe by the end of my first round. The practical way I overcame it was to tell myself that I was not allowed to just “sit on twitter / facebook / forums” and chatter…. I had to do my training, cooking, cleaning, work, phd, family stuff etc BEFORE I was allowed to use it. It worked really well!! Especially got me out of a bad habit of waking up, eating brekky & checking all the 12WBT online stuff…. then an hour could go by and I still had not trained. So, I nipped that in the bud and it helped me to step back and work out how to use all the great resources and networking opportunities in a way that served my goals.
xx
August 18, 2011
Hi Deb,
I love your posts and I really enjoy seeing you at different events. I think we both nearly died that first time at boxing – (and I haven’t been back lol). I too have been completely overwhelmed by FB and the forums. don’t remember ever feeling that excited about it -in fact I started this journey as a chore, but slowly – and I do mean slowly, its becoming a lifestyle. I got really cranky this week with the FB stuff, felt like some sort of space had been invaded…of course now I sound like I am being precious.
I have signed up for round three but I will be doing it at a much slower pace. I have to finish my uni studies so in all honesty that is my goal. Still I signed up cause I want to keep enjoying the relationships I have begun and also cause I don’t trust myself enough yet and I need the accountability.
I have decided this time I won’t be in the forums alot, too much uni work until 10 October. But I have made a commitment to myself that after uni finishes I will come back pumped. I think like life in general, we/ me just have to find my own rhythm within the stream – otherwise I retreat and sit on the sidelines or drown.
Just do what we can, I love your blog, you are always so gutsy and honest and it was a highlight of my last round. Thanks Deb, you often articulate very clearly what I am feeling too.
Kylie xx
August 18, 2011
Hi Kylie
You will be most impressed to know that I went to 3-4 of the boxing sessions and I mostly enjoyed it. I am not as fond of bootcamps or things that involve sandbags and tyres and stuff. Or things that require lots of running. I SO know what you meant about the FB thing. As I think I said to Angela, I noticed it a lot more as I had Mon – Wed off work so was checking it more often.
I’m so glad that you’re finding it’s becoming a lifestyle cos I think that’s what will cement the achievements and make them last. I’m not there yet, but hope I get there soon. Perhaps now I’ve joined a gym I can get into a routine a bit more. Well, I hope so, anyway.
Deb
August 18, 2011
Hi Deb – I love your blogs. I read them every day but dont always comment coz I dont want you to think I’m some kind of stalker haha!! This one I just have to comment. I am feeling just like you right now and you dont know how FANTASTIC it was for me to realise that it is not just me who is feeling this way. Round 3 will be my 3rd round but I still get overwhelmed and still struggle to not let everyone elses amazing achievements and enthusiastic participation in the many training events make me feel like a failure. In Round 1 – I was very overwhelmed but soon decided to take a breath and ease myself into it all. I concentrated on nailing the nutrition, learning from Mish’s mindset lessons and introducing exercise – mainly the treadmill and weekly pilates lessons. In Round 2 I knew I needed to up the ante with the training so I started going to the Carindale bootcamps on Saturdays. It was less travel time for me than PIP’s and I have so little time! Round 3 – I know I need to try and get more consistent with my training eg 6 days / week. I struggle with that. I know everyone is busy but everyone has different coping levels etc. I work full-time and am not usually home before 6:30pm each night. I then have to cook dinner for 5 and usually run my three teenagers around to all their activities. On weekends there is more running around + washing, cleaning, cooking and hopefully a bit of chill out time. So my challenge is finding time to fit in my training six days/week. When I read about everyone going to PIP and Zenergy + all the extra’s – I feel guilty and those feelings of being a failure come creeping back. I also feel like I’m missing out too – all those friendships being made that I am missing out on. The reality is that I simply cannot commit the amount of time to training as others can SO I have to find my own way.
In Round 2 I became alot quieter on FB and in the forums than I was in Round 1 because I needed to withdraw a bit so as to reduce some of those overwhelming feelings.
Regardless of all of the above, I do LOVE 12wbt and the messages it teaches and I AM losing weight. Maybe a bit slower than others but I am losing. I will never win any awards but I really dont care – thats not my goal. My goal is to be healthier, lighter, fitter and happier 🙂
Thanks so much for your blogs – love them!
Min
xx
August 18, 2011
Thanks so much Min. I didn’t get back to the Carindale bootcamps after the one and only I attended, though enjoyed it (well, as much as one can enjoy something like that). But, my house goes to auction tomorrow so I’ll soon know if I have to keep househunting or not and either way my Saturdays will soon be free again.
I like the sound of your approach… just stepping back a bit during your second round. I seriously don’t expect to win any prizes so – you are right – I really don’t need to feel as obligated with the Forums etc.
My work hours sound a bit like yours, but I only have myself to take care of, so that’s a bit easier for me, but I still find it hard to fit exercise in 6 days a week. I think – and I’ve said it before and Angela says it below – we need to establish something that’s sustainable in terms of our routines. You’ll know from my blogs I’ve joined a gym next to work and my next step is to NOT feel guilty when I leave at 5.30pm to go to the gym, or to try and take a lunchbreak sometime to go. (That can be my next goal!!!)
Glad you’re back for another round as well.
Deb
August 18, 2011
Hi Deb – good luck with the auction tomorrow! Yes I read in one of your blogs that you had joined a gym near your work. Good on you – I hope you enjoy it 🙂 I discovered through the Carindale bootcamps that I really like boxing and am often tempted to go to the NF Boxing sessions. I actually think I would prefer that to bootcamp because, like you, I’m not a fan of running (well not yet anyway), but I do enjoy boxing and actually find that I burn a hell of a lot of calories boxing (more than running in fact!). Problem for me is that if I factor in the travel time, the chatting time etc it would take up a good part of my day and there is sooo much I have to squeeze into my precious weekends. I left grocery shopping off my list of weekend jobs before – how could I forget that – not one of my favourite tasks! My daughter has her semi-formal coming up soon – so the next several w/e’s will most likely be needed to shop for a dress/shoes etc. There is always something on the go. Might see you at the finale party. I’ll be there with my sister. For the Melb party I went way out – bought a new dress and shoes, got a pedicure etc. For this one – I’ve done nothing! I have a black dress that hasnt fit for awhile so am wearing that…and I’ve had no pampering done whatsoever. Hope I can pull myself together and manage to look ok!! Time for bed. Good luck tomorrow! Min
August 26, 2011
Hi Min
You ARE healthier, fitter and look fantastic! Reclaiming our health, fitness and happiness are the main prizes and you are winning on that front. You looked fabulous at the finale party on the weekend, it was really wonderful to see you.
Lots of people feel overwhelmed and lots go for the ‘all or nothing’ approach and then take on toooo much and by part way through are exhausted and fall off the bandwagon, so to speak. Working out how to integrate healthy eating and exercise into our routines has to be an individual thing, we have to ignore what others do and work out how it works best for us.
Min I am sorry to hear that you see the events and feel guilty that you are not attending ALL of them and feel those feelings of being a failure creep in. You are NOT failure and you have nothing to feel guilty about. I really wanted to reply to this post and say please please PLEASE do not feel that way. No one – I repeat NO ONE, not even I, attend all those sessions that I organise. For example, I cannot remember the last time I was able to make it to the boxing sessions that I organise in New farm Park as my family commitments due to my Aunt’s chemo treatment have changed. Boxing doesn’t fit in so well for me now and I have to train much earlier before I pick up the kids etc, often closer to my home or theirs. Some people just go to New Farm Park, some just to Zenergy, some only to milestone events twice in a round. It is definitely not the case that everyone goes to everything. They pick and choose what suits.
The events I organise are ones that suit my schedule and budget! Initially I found a handful of others who were also keen so that there were sufficient numbers to ensure the sessions definitely went ahead. I organise these because I am a full time student and sharing the cost with others through group sessions really works for me and I love getting together and ‘paying it forward’ as Mish puts it. From that humble start the sessions have just grown and all are very welcome.
For this upcoming round I will be even less likely to attend everything. It will not be unusual for me to not attend the sessions I have organized. My personal & work commitments are changing greatly for the last part of the year and my Aunt is only going to need more support as she becomes weaker from the chemo, she is in the 12 weekly doses now, it sucks. For this reason I have set up all the events to be sustainable and run in my absence so that I am a little freer to come and go as it suits. The PTs are great and that way the events go ahead and I don’t have to feel overwhelmed at thought of trying to attend them while fitting in my other commitments or feel guilty about missing them. The PIP boot camps and boxing require no major commitment in advance, its pay on the day, just rock up…. The aim of that is to keep it free & breezy so people don’t feel overwhelmed or overcommitted.
So I cannot stress enough that no one should feel obliged to attend all the sessions, no one should feel guilty or like they are a failure if they do not. You – and everyone else – are welcome to attend one, some or most of the sessions. The range of sessions organized by me and now many others in 12WBT should be like a wonderful MENU OF CHOICES rather than feel like a “to do list” that overwhelms, you know?
Look forward to catching up with you soon…. I spent all of last round hopeful that I could make it to Carindale boot camp but it just was not feasible. I do really hope to make it to Carindale coffee next time you girls meet up!
xx
August 26, 2011
Thanks so much Ang. I’ve replied by private message so as not to clog up Deb’s blog. I’m in a talkative mood haha
August 18, 2011
Thanks Min. I’m just wearing something from my cupboard to the finale party. Although I’ve lost 19kg in the 12 weeks I still have a long way to go so am loath to buy something new yet as I just don’t feel ‘ready’ to emerge from the cocoon as yet.
The good thing about the NF Boxing classes though, is that they’re early so over by 8.30am (though your kids might have stuff on then). I like earlier classes cos (like you said) they don’t burn up your whole day.
Deb
August 18, 2011
Hi Deb,
As a bit of an introvert, I know where you are coming from. I haven’t done 12WBT so I don’t know what it’s quite like, but stick with your close group of supporters and make friends and participate at your own pace.
xx