On a positive note, I got to see my favourite Weight Watchers consultant, Suzanne – whose name I should remember as I should try and see her each time I go.  I have seen one other consultant I particularly liked, though I cannot recall her name.  Neither try to stuff platitudes down my throat, or steadfastly push on with ‘this week’s lesson’ when I am obviously not engaged in whatever it may be.

Today I was able to confess my sins quickly and so Suzanne listened and then we got the weighing-in bit out of the way.  I gained about 1.5kgs.  Or 1.4, or 1.6.  I can’t quite remember which.  But it equated to my estimated 1.6kg loss on my scales, following the 3kg gain (I was 128.5 this morning).  I explained to her that reaching the high 120kgs previously felt like some anomaly which spurred me into action (ie. joining Weight Watchers), so bouncing back there SO easily (and higher) this time, scared the bejesus out of me. 

I didn’t say it also made me wonder if Weight Watchers (touting itself as the diet that isn’t a diet, but a lifestyle) is really just a diet – cos that’s how it feels to me.  And I certainly regained the weight quickly once stopping this time – as if bouncing back from a diet. 

I like to think of Weight Watchers as a more sustainable way to lose weight.  Which is why I am not cutting out carbs or drinking shakes.  (Well… also because I am just not sufficiently motivated to push myself that hard at the moment!)

Anyway, I am to diligently continue on my points-tracking this week and show my hard work to Suzanne next week.  I am also to focus on the short-term.  We discussed how overwhelming it is for me to think of how much weight I need to lose, which makes recently re-gaining most of the weight lost (AGAIN) so annoying.  I told her I know I am supposed to be breaking down my expectations into smaller goals, but that is hard.  I want a quick fix.  Instant gratification. 

Of course after I weighed-in I had my post-weigh-in binge of corn chips with dip.  I always feel crappy afterwards.  I can’t recall if I have recorded that previously.  I think I have queried whether high-carb binges make me feel lethargic and tired (‘same same’ I realise, but it sounded better with an ‘and’ so I went with both adjectives!).

I had a little 5pm nanna nap to recover so am now all ready to continue the post-weigh-in spree.  No chocolate etc though, just some champagne and red wine and mashed potato with yummy fillet steak.  All okay really (well as long as you don’t count the 200g packet of corn chips with sour cream dip, and frankly, let’s not). 

Back in the saddle tomorrow though.  I cannot allow the binge to continue into a second day any longer.  One afternoon of frivolity is it!  (Though I am already craving Chinese food….)