I’m feeling a bit miserable today. And no, it’s not because I clicked on yesterday’s post to see a (almost-recent) photo of myself; or looked at my reflection in the train window again… though I am wearing my big loose long shirt/dress thing – which I wear when feeling a bit porky and, well, yuck!
Instead I think it’s because I’m not keeping up. With anything. Not the Joneses or anyone else. I’m behind in my 12 Week Body Transformation Challenge pre-season tasks. And I don’t know why. Given the amount of time I spent lolling about eating cheap easter eggs and watching TiVo’d television over the weekend, I could surely have spared 10 minutes here and there to do tasks 3 & 4. But I didn’t and now, task 5 is out. Shit!
I opened the 12WBT website here at work because I decided (since I don’t take lunch breaks) perhaps I could do my lessons during my lunch break (instead of eating as I work or checking out internet news’ sites). And I was flabergasted. There are pages and pages of posts (including responses to task 5! Already!). They are just multiplying. I decided to check out what is being planned for my hometown of Brisvegas (organised by the v.supportive and v.committed Ange). Again, pages and pages and days and days of posts, all brimming with enthusiasm (rather than the dread I seem to be experiencing). Shit! I am SO behind the eight-ball.
The very same Ange, recently posted in her blog about the notion of us being on our own journey and that we shouldn’t compare ourselves to others. It’s something I’m not good at. I’m naturally competitive so prone to looking over at the person next to me to make sure I am doing better than they are. Once upon a time that was fine. I was fit, healthy, relatively attractive, okay at school / my job etc. But now I am still single, incredibly unfit, frumpy, unhealthy and ridiculously overweight. Comparing myself to others now is problematic because I NEVER COME OUT ON TOP.
The ‘excuses’ I came up with in 12WBT pre-season task 2 continue to grow. Originally I didn’t include the “I can’t find the time” excuse because frankly I should be able to. I don’t have a partner or family, or a hectic social life. At the moment I am only working (and commuting) for about 10-11hrs a day. It leaves a lot of time for me to do the things which help me feel in control of my life. Doing the bloody 12WBT pre-season tasks are just one example. That way I wouldn’t log onto the 12WBT site after a few days and feel like a failure for falling so far behind; and like I’ve failed before I’ve even started.
May 9, 2011
Hey there, I totally understand what you are going through – when I decided to sign up for 12wbt Round 1 – it was starting in 3 days. I didnt end up completing my pre-season tasks until WEEK 5, I just couldnt find the time for it. I felt overwhelmed by the message boards (and as such, never participated in them – instead I turned to facebook and twitter – my regular means of support and community). The sheer amount of emails from Mish (up to 3 or 4 a week) also overwhelmed me – i was constantly playing catch up on watching the videos and reading her emails.
BUT.
It was worth it. I took my time, I didn’t give up, I read the info when I could. I adapted the programme to suit me (and realised that ok, I could have stuck to it 100% and lost more weight, but in the end I needed my sanity) – and overall I still lost 5kgs. I am happy with that – over the moon in fact. It’s just the start of the weight loss journey for me.
So don’t give up – just do what you can, when you can. I hope this helps encourage you 🙂
May 9, 2011
Hey, thanks Leah… that’s good to hear. Everyone is SO enthusiastic and I’m hoping I will be (perhaps I should be now…). I think I have been getting myself tied up in knots trying to do everything perfectly or correctly. LIke Angela’s post I guess… it’s ‘my’ journey. I’m really glad you saw results from Round 1 and it gives me hope that I won’t ‘fail’ just because I get behind a bit.
I have to admit each time I log onto the message boards I don’t know where to start. I first think I should try and read everyone’s but then wonder if I should focus on those of people who live nearby (who I could meet and connect with) and then it all becomes a bit overwhelming… (Not counting the blogs!) Argh!!!
Deb
May 9, 2011
I too was a little freaked out by how motivated everyone in the forum seems to be..
it’s like someone has pulled the pin out of a hand grenade!
You’ll find though that task 3,4,& 5 are pretty simple. Goal setting, working out where you’re going to work out, and committing to the program.
You’ve taken the first step towards a healthier you.
I think if you come out on the other side with any loss you should be proud.
May 9, 2011
Hi Ali
Was just reading your blog about the Lindt bunnies. I’m with you and still polishing off easter eggs (all on sale) as well. But, you are right… by even joining I’ve (we’ve) taken a step in the right direction. Look forward to hearing how you progress (and I’m slowly catching up on the pre-season tasks!).
Deb
May 10, 2011
easter is my down fall.
If only chocolate didn’t taste so good in egg & bunny form.
I can go for days without chocolate, but as soon as I see that shinny foil around an egg, I start obsessing about how good it’ll taste..
THat’s it no more easter eggs for me..
easter is over!