Those on my weight loss program know that our fearless leader keeps reminding us not to overthink things. Just the other day I wrote about the fact that I needed to better heed this lesson. And, even today as I sat about wallowing in apathy I had to force myself to adopt her mantra: Just fucking do it. JFDI. Thanks to the immediacy of social media and the internet I knew that others on my program were doing their Super Saturday workouts and burning 1000 calories or more, whereas I was trying to motivate myself to get on my exercise bike for 30 minutes.
But… having said that, don’t think that I am overly anxious about my workout in comparison. (Okay, I am a little…) I’m trying to remind myself that I lost almost 20kg in the first 12 weeks of this program by doing MY version of exercise. Sure I wasn’t ‘smashing’ it with multiple daily workouts like many others, or doing lengthy bootcamps or back-to-back classes, but I diligently exercised six days a week: walking, or riding my exercise bike, or doing pilates; and it worked for me. I realise as I get fitter I need to step it up and I have done that by joining a gym and this week alone did a couple of boxing workouts and a circuit class, as well as the walk and today’s exercise bike ride. All in all, a huge leap from what I used to be doing.
But – unsurprisingly – I digress (you wouldn’t believe the number of times I have to cut these posts into two or more because I go off on some tangent that really deserves its own topic!). Here in Oz it’s a big sporting weekend with two of our football codes’ grand finals being played both Saturday and Sunday. I must confess to not actually caring. I used to. Once upon a time sport was my life. But that changed when I lived overseas. I came home and have never been as interested. I’m now one of those eye-rolling types when others analyse the weekend’s football, tennis or cricket matches.
That said, the weekend still seems like a festive one. In addition, I’ve been cat-sitting for a week across town and am in the midst of returning to my own humble abode (finally).
And, as I pondered on the grocery shopping I needed to do today, the first thing that popped into my head was, ‘What junk food will I buy?’ What the fuck? ‘Corn chips,’ I decided. ‘Hmmm… but do I need chocolate as well?’
So, today it was more a case of JUST DON’T FUCKING DO IT!
Naturally I’ve been overanalysing my thoughts and actions since my shopping trip. I’ve already confessed to coping with crappy days (and life in general) this week by drinking wine on (as at last count) 3 occasions. On my very-recent holiday I had to deal with constant ‘I’m on holidays and so need food-treats’ thinking. And today I’m faced with the same old thoughts and habits.
On a positive note, I like to think I have gotten stronger since I wrote about my bad habits in the first round of this program. I didn’t ‘cave’ back then and eat anything I shouldn’t (indeed I was probably more resolute in my thinking then) but given my behaviour of late, I’m almost surprised that the adult in me just groaned and moved down the shopping aisle away from temptation, and shelved the ‘I deserve corn chips’ thinking.
That’s not to say I won’t have the thoughts again; or that I won’t actually ACT on the thoughts next time I have them, but I guess I need to take solace in the fact that the thought was there and I ignored it. I even shook my head and thought what a recalcitrant little bugger I (my thinking) could be. But… I just didn’t fucking do it. And I’m sure I will have to (not) do that again.