I read somewhere, that to increase readership (etc) one should feature guest posts. So… as part of my 2012 goal to focus more on my blogging, I thought I’d feature a series of guest posts this week from someone who’s been itching to speak to you all. She’s an old ‘friend’ (in the loosest sense of the word), but only recently recognised. Ladies and gents…. I give you Myra, my inner critic.

As you can well imagine I was just stoked that Deborah (aka Schmiet) FINALLY let me out of my box… so to speak. She *ahem* really doesn’t keep me in a box. No… really. Well, in all honesty I suspect she’d like to, but has – so far anyway – failed. Anyway, in our airtight guest-posting contract, Schmiet has little say over the content of my posts so I can feel free to share some stuff that she has recently balked at. Quite frankly, between you and me, the woman really has no ‘staying power’. A bit of negativity has her running for the hills!

You’d be aware that my good ole’ buddy Schmiet, recently restarted her ‘healthy eating plan’ (aka diet). I sat by and smugly watched as she powered through her first week, dropping about 2.5kg of Christmas weight. With a bit of help from Yours Truly she got through her second week… and I made sure her expectations were sufficiently heightened so that – as expected, when no weight loss on the scales ensued – she ‘lost the plot’ / ‘dropped the ball’  (and similar analogies) – big time. However, she surprises me sometimes and I almost lost control there for a while. Her resolve returned… ‘Onward and upward’ she said (or thought; because I am privy to the convoluted workings of her inner mind) and planned her weekly menu and workout routines, resolutely determined to remain ‘on track’. I was a little nervous that she might – indeed – win this round, but fortunately I had some assistance on my side….

My secret weapon lives in Schmiet’s bathroom. It looks innocuous enough – all silver and shiny – but it has the power to bring Schmiet to tears. I watch her step on, expectantly, each and every time. (Wouldn’t you think she’d learn?!) She holds her breath and poses in a way that I guess is meant to lighten the load as much as possible. And then either a smile and a bounce in her step; or several more attempts and a few visits to the loo before she throws herself down on her bed and sulks.

Of course, that’s when I can help. When she’s feeling blue. I console her, “It’s really not worth it,” I say.

“Why put yourself through this torture,” I ask her, “for so little results?” And I remind her, “Life is SO much better when you can eat and drink whatever you want. At least then you are getting SOME joy out of your dreary existence.”

I wait for the argument about instant gratification she’ll get from food versus the long-term benefits of losing weight. Blah blah blah. But with my secret weapon – that shiny judgemental object in her bathroom – I can always win. Sometimes my victory is short-lived and – of late – that has been increasingly the case. I notice that she’s getting better at picking herself back up, sticking her fingers in her ears and ignoring my advice. But – I always return. She hasn’t gotten rid of me for good. Yet.

I notice that she’s been reading some blog posts from others and contemplating the notion of hiding the silver scales. I haven’t yet decided whether that’s a good or a bad thing. I’m conscious that (just this last time) she was going well, until she saw the numbers and let them discourage her. Perhaps without the numbers ruling her life she could focus on the journey and NOT the destination. Then again, she has such little confidence and faith in herself perhaps I can convince her that she’s spiralling out of control without any tangible numbers to hold on to. She’s actually not stupid (although regular readers may indeed wonder about that), so I know she’s thinking the same thing. I’m sure one of us will let you know what she decides.

Signing out for now…. (although I’ll be back with my thoughts on binge-eating in a couple of days, so stay tuned for that one.)

Myra