As of today I am back at work. Ugh! But I have been waiting for the moment as that means I am not around the house all day, dealing with temptation. (Although, as I write that I recall that my daytime eating wasn’t really my problem….)
Anyway, suffice to say, as planned, I returned to work AND counting and tracking points. I have had 22 points today. I am not sure whether I am allowed 24 or 25 points at the moment as it depends on how scary the scales are! As I lay in bed sleeplessly last night I decided that I SHOULD have gone to get weighed this past weekend, as even if I have a fabulous week, I might still be heavier than my last weigh-in (having put on 3kgs last week according to my own scales!!!). That way, I thought, the Weight Watchers consultant would realise how good I have been this week. Which of course is insane because the only person I should be worrying about is ME!!! And I will know if I have been naughty or nice (or good or bad; or healthy or not – etc) this week.
Of course I felt revolting all day thanks to recent weight gain and self-hatred resulting from recent weight gain (oops… I was supposed to be treating myself better, wasn’t I?). But, there you have it. I wore a recent favourite outfit, with great jewellery in an attempt to feel a bit better, but it all felt tight and horrible. I felt self-conscious and regretted the fact that I had wasted the (effort of the) 9.1kgs I had lost prior to my holidays.
But, I had to take solace in the fact that – although I wasn’t ‘great’ yesterday, I had an alcohol free day and did 15mins of low impact exercise (ie. trampoline jogging) and today I stuck to points. I was frighteningly disorganised and other than my usual breakfast (low fat bacon and egg sandwich), I only had a tin of tomato soup all day. I always prided myself on having my work lunches pre-planned, but I am not quite there yet (tin of soup out for tomorrow as well).
I was ravenous by the time I got home at 6.30pm, and was vaguely tempted to get some booze to fill the void, but I waited and cooked myself a healthy stir fry. I had decided I could have popcorn as a treat if I only had 2 points worth of carbohydrates for dinner, which I did… and despite all of that, I still only hit 22 points.
I will aim to keep under points between now and my Saturday weigh-in. I will try to remain strong and motivated and hopefully remember how good I feel when I am making sensible choices – physically AND mentally.