Feeling better now (part 1)

Thursday, June 14, 2012 Permalink

If you’ve read my blog for any amount of time, you’ll be aware I’m prone to a bit of navel-gazing. It seems, to me anyway (and quite frankly it IS all about me!), that this has actually been even more evident over recent months.

I’ve spent some time thinking about this… Suddenly I’m contemplating mindful or intuitive eating, I’m loving some new and different blogs (Zen Habits is just one example) and articles which I once would have naively written off as wanky twaddle. (Given that my undergraduate degree is in Psychology, I do get the irony of this!)

In my overly introspective way, I’ve been pondering on why this might be the case and what I’ve realised is that I’m starting to understand that I’m never going to find what I’m looking for OUT THERE. Sure, I suspect a man who loves me could make me happy. A million dollars (so I could retire and write all day) would make me happy. Eternal health for my family and friends would make me happy. But none of them will offer me contentment. They won’t allow me to like or respect myself more.

I recently discovered (yet another) new blogger. Well, new to me – not to blogging and the world at large. Christie Inge is a Intuitive Eating and Body Image coach and blogs at Body Alchemy. One of the first posts I read caught my attention given my recent state of mind (as per my last post)… steps for feeling better now!

HELLO?! Just what the doctor ordered?!?! Or not? Rest assured… it’s not like I think that reading an article will be akin to a magic wand. But, I figured I’d give it a try anyway.

Christie talks about the ‘ever elusive’ happiness that she thought would come from a certain weight, job or relationship… but having achieved those things she still wasn’t happy. (Frankly at this point in time I’d take the chance that I’d not be happy at my goal weight if I could bloody well get there!)


But I like Christie’s no-nonsense approach. “Stop that shit,” she says, and offers up her 10 steps.

1.      Identify the thoughts you are currently thinking about yourself. (She suggests we weigh ourselves or look at ourselves naked in the mirror to allow these to bubble to the surface.)
This is a no-brainer for me. I know what the scales say at the moment, but I’m doing this after seeing my reflection in a train window:

  • You are fat.
  • You are ugly.
  • It’s no wonder no one loves you.
  • You are pathetic.
  • You are weak.
  • You are a failure.
  • You are an embarrassment.
  • You are not worth anyone’s attention.
  • You look old.
  • You are a has-been.
  • It’s too late for you.
  • Time has passed you by.

2.      Identify how you feel when you think that way (how does it feel in your body?)
I feel sad. I feel tired. I feel defeated. And deflated. My body feels heavy.

3.      Recognise how to treat yourself when you think and feel this way. Does this work?
I don’t treat myself with respect and don’t value myself. I worry less about what I’ll wear or how I look. I retreat into myself and wallow – physically (at home) and mentally/emotionally.

It doesn’t work as I cope by eating more / unhealthy food /drink which perpetuates my self-image issues.

I did mention that there are 10 steps, didn’t I? Obviously the next ones move to a more positive place… but they do require a bit more contemplation from me, so I’ll continue with the post tomorrow.

I know my responses to question 1, are quite negative, but I suspect others can relate…. can’t you?


  • Georgia
    June 14, 2012

    I understand 100%. I was in that place yesterday. Sometimes it feels like I’m trying to claw back what I never really had. But I know it’s worth trying to find positivity and strength. You are very brave and honest Deb. xx

    • Debbish
      June 14, 2012

      Thanks Georgia! Wait until you see a confession in the second half of the post!!!

  • KCLAnderson (Karen)
    June 14, 2012

    Christie is awesome…I know her personally 🙂 We spoke together at Fitbloggin last year and will be doing the same this year. Anyway…yes. This is exactly the pattern none of us recognize when we think that hating our bodies will motivate us into losing weight and it’s exactly why I believe we must practice loving ourselves (and our bodies) first, even when we’re repulsed. We don’t take care of things we hate, right?

    • Debbish
      June 15, 2012

      “We don’t take care of things we hate.” Very true Karen…. I’m loving Christie’s posts – also her newer one about finding herself.

  • Marion
    June 15, 2012

    Hi Deb! I read Zen Habits yesterday too. And, in the same theme as this post, I’m realizing more and more that my biggest issues involve mindful living issues. (e.g. Am I going to regard this event as a crisis, or just a daily bobble that slightly annoyed me? Do I have to eat a favorite food today to be happy, or can I find “dessert” in another aspect of my life?)

    🙂 Marion

    • Debbish
      June 15, 2012

      Marion, perhaps it was you who put me onto Zen Habits – I’m really enjoying it and love love loved the recent post about looking at things with excitement. I’m sure there’s a lesson there for me (given that I’m struggling with today’s post – ie. next parts of Christie’s exercise!)

  • Lou Lou
    June 15, 2012

    I love a bit of wanky twaddle too. And I suspect you are loved my many…

    • Debbish
      June 15, 2012

      Not entirely sure about that Lou Lou… but yes… the wanky twaddle is more appealing than I care to admit!

I'd love to hear your thoughts