It’s amazing what a difference being disciplined makes to my outlook.  Because I have spent 25-30 years dieting or not dieting I have also spent the same amount of time feeling guilty or not guilty.  (And not in an ‘Officer, I swear I didn’t do it’ way!) 

Over the years I have, on occasions, kept journals and when I read back over them a horrifying number of entries are focussed on eating, exercising and dieting.  Regular emails to my parents (my mother is my sounding board and possibly the only person with whom I lay myself bare!) are also full of tales of woe about whether or not I have exercised and how guilty I feel that I didn’t walk or go to the gym, or how I ‘broke’ my diet. 

After only two days of being on-track (a minor achievement to some, I realise…actually – even more frighteningly is the fact that day 2 is not yet finished) I feel so much more positive about EVERYTHING.  Though the rest of my life may be stuffed (I hate my job, hate being single and am worried I will remain so!) it feels like this little piece of the jigsaw is where it should be.  At least for now.

I realise I shouldn’t count my blessings before they have been bestowed…. in a the-scales-don’t-reflect-my-hard-work way, but I would like to think that – even if the results this week aren’t what I hope – I will take comfort in the fact that I have (at least for 1.75 days) been on-track and demonstrated some iota of restraint when it comes to food and booze.

I had a 19 point day yesterday – of which 7 WW points came from 2 cups of rice at dinner (and I was too full – note to self!!!).  Had I not (over)indulged in the rice I was going to have a egg custard dessert, but alas, alack…. I was sufficiently satisfied anyway.

Today I reduced my daytime points a little (had soup again for lunch rather than leftovers from dinner last night) as I was going out for Chinese for dinner.  I already discovered that my chosen dish has 8.5 points, so I needed to budget for that and some rice. 

I went a bit overboard with the rice tonight, so probably have to count 2 cups, but am still doing okay as I had so few points earlier in the day.  I do realise – of course – that normally you should balance your points out more during the day, but small steps….