Weigh-in today.  After yesterday’s soul-searching I (of course) went and bought some champagne and red wine and drank 10 points worth of alcohol last night.  As I hadn’t eaten since breakfast I didn’t go too much over points, but it wasn’t a good decision the night before weigh-in.

I jumped on the scales first thing (despite my reservations) but as my scales and those at Weight Watchers are completely at odds, the reading meant nothing.

The consultants on duty today (at Weight Watchers at Myers Shopping Centres) were new to me and not the usual Sunday-ers.  The woman I saw was nice enough, but she convinced me that I shouldn’t use my ‘free pass’.  I had considered using the pass (giving me the opportunity to NOT get on the scales) but her reasoning was that I wouldn’t be able to judge how I went in future.  In retrospect a mistake….

I explained to her that my motivation was waning (each week) and that no loss, a minimal loss or a gain could mean I never return.  I got a lecture AGAIN about how at WW they only aim for 0.5 – 1kg loss each week and as I had lost 6.2kgs in my first 4 weeks I was on track.  I tried to explain that – on previous attempts from a much-lower starting weight – I had lost significantly more than I have this time, hence my despondency!

But of course I got no sympathy, just rhetoric about how WW believes in ‘slow’ weight loss, blah blah blah.

She did offer, however, to NOT write my weight down on my card until next week so I wouldn’t know how I went today…. so of course I gave in and got on the scales.

She silently wrote down the verdict and I figured if it was good news she would tell me anyway, so when she didn’t I knew it wasn’t.  So then (of course) I HAD to know.  It seems I put on 0.6kgs.  Not good.  I didn’t cry – hallelujah (after last week’s debacle!) – but was not happy.

I also sat through the rest of the appointment with less twisted bitterness than last week, which is a positive.  She said surely I know if I have been on-track or not and whether I expect to lose weight.  I explained that I don’t go over points on food alone.  Only when I drink alcohol, do I go over.  I wasn’t able to explain that – often to me – weight gain or loss is fathomless.  On previous attempts I will diligently diet, to no avail.  My eating history also means that I find myself just continuing to gain weight at a ridiculous rate.  A woman I work with talked about putting on 2kgs in the past 6 months.  I can (and have many times) gained 8kgs in a month, so to me, 2kgs is the difference between before lunch and after lunch.  Although I know there is some science and logic to weight gain and loss, I have little faith in it. 

So, with a new week ahead of me, I have been stuffing myself with corn chips today.  And some chocolate.  No booze though.  Am going to attempt to go alcohol-free all week and try to keep within my points for the week.  I need a good result this week as my patience does have its limits!